Help I'm going to have a nervous breakdown!?

Question

Im a single mother of two, i have a daughter that is 5 an a son that turnt 4 in december. I have no help with them cause my family don't get along, but its my son im having problems with he's not old enough to attend school so he's with me 24/7 and im out off work from a on the job injury. How can i say this, first i love both of my childrens very much and my daughter i have no problems with but my son he's always doing what i tell him not to do. When its time to eat he only wants to eat junk no real food, i will tell him not to ride the bick in the street an to stay on the sidewalk he rides it in the street, i'll tell him to clean up his room he sits there an watch his tv, then when he wants to go out side an play an i say no cause you didn't clean your room he starts to pout. I have put him in time out and i have fussed, i have spanked him and that there don't even fase him.its like it goes in one ear an out the other. I love my son and i don't want to be a mean mom. I need help

Answer 1

Bringing up a child alone--that's so hard. My sympathies and congratulations. He's still so very young. Perhaps he's going through a stage.

You need help for yourself--for your own sake as well as to care for your children. I think finding the best therapist you can--not only one good but one you feel at ease with--would be a very good idea. Keeping your emotions, thoughts, and anxiety bottled up is very harmful.

You need someway to get away from your son when you're losing your temper. The stress must be awful.

Besides a therapist/couselor, if there's a close friend with whom you feel at ease--one you can trust to be supportive and not judgmental--talking about this with them might be of great help. Your family not being there for you must be so very hard. If there's no one you can turn to, I hope you speak to a therapist--even if you have others to turn to. A good therapist won't jump to judgements and will have the detachment to see what others close to you cannot.

Another thing to try is a group in which to find support and understanding. I hope there's one locally--be it for parents, for coping with anxiety and stress (and the depression which can follow). I'd try any group that might help even if it isn't specific to your situation.

If you live in a rural area where there are no support groups to turn to nor any you can afford to travel to get to, there are support groups on the internet.

Having to deal with your injury and worry about a job is enough to stress anyone out. The extra stress you're having dealing with your son must make every day hard.

Can find a way to escape the mounting stress, leaving your children somewhere safe or with someone you can trust?

Have you tried calling a crisis hotline? You needn't always give your name. Just talking to someone there to listen could help a whole lot. I did that once when getting out of an abusive relationship. It made a huge difference.

If you find yourself breaking up to the point you cannot take care of yourself and your children, call 911 as a last resort.

Take care of yourself. and your little ones. And as someone once told me, 'Be kind to yourself.' Being a mom (or dad), especially single, is the most important job there is, and the most worthy. Give yourself credit for all you do and try to do.

Best wishes!,
Thinking of you,
Cynthia

Answer 2

Right now you just need to sit down after they go to bed and relax. I know you are probably thinking that you are so tired you want to go to bed yourself too but take some time for yourself, even if that means that you need a nap in the afternoon so you can stay up later than them. In that time try to do something special for yourself. Take a hot bath, read a book etc. Just keep in mind that you have a big responsibility by yourself and you are doing the best you can. I think part of the problem is that your son can sense your stress and he is re-acting which just compounds things. Maybe you should try to reach out for help from relatives and friends. If not with them maybe look for a group of single mom's and take turns with one another to give you some reprieve. Single parenting is not an easy job. I've been one of a special needs child with doctor appointments and many other special needs too. I am now re-married but still do not get much help. I know it's hard. Just take a deep breath and give yourself a pat on the back for being able to give your children a mom. There are a lot of kids that get passed off to foster homes by woman who not only can not handle these situations but just plain do not want to. I give you credit for trying.

Answer 3

Take the things away that he likes the most . Be consistent. Don't tell him no and then change your mind, because he'll think you're a joke. That's not being a mean mom. He will respect you in the long run. Do it while he's only 4 and not when he turn 14. You still have a chance. It's hard being a single mom. I've been there done that. You can only do the best that u can. Just be consistent and do let up. ok?

Answer 4

this is what i do with my childeren each time he dosent listen to you like the bike in the street thing take the bike away for 1 month or so and tell him why you are taking it tell him because he rode it in the street and he could have got hit by a car, and stick to the punishment they will pout but useually befor the next day they will come and say mommy i love you i learded from experience they will try you to see what they can get by with and the t.v while not cleanning his room unplug the t.v at chore time and rember is is only 4 you cant expect to much from a 4 year old but they like to help they dont like doing things by there self , so if you would take 5 extra minutes and say i think i will help pick up your toys if you want me to then most generally they will jump on the offer and the junk foos stop buying it till he learns that he must eat food that is good for him first say if you eat everything on your plate ill take you to get icecream or and look up foods that make kids hyper and try not to feed him those foods that could be one of his problems my 5 year old bounced off the walls and i couldent figure out why he was doing this and i found it was hotdogs i stoped giveing them to him and he has commed way down hope this helps find things he likes most and take it away from him as punishment games,cars,t.v, bike, dont just do time out hes getting older and thats probley why its not working

Answer 5

It sounds to me like you need to lay down the law. I've never hit my child but she knows from the sound of my voice if i'm angry. You need to suck it up and be a mom and teach your kids right from wrong. It might take a week or two, but they'll fall in line if you make them.
My daughter's 3 and hasn't thrown a tantrum in over a year. She knows that if she does something wrong that she can't watch cartoons (or play computer or play outside) until she makes up for it (which is usually going on the potty)....but i stick to it. She knows that if she's bad she loses out on something.
Take away something they love, and give it back when they're good.

Answer 6

I, too am a single mom and know what you're going thru. Keep with the punishment and groundings. Reward him with good behaviour!!! I had a son that has PTSS and ADD and I babyed him and he was in and out of detention centers. Get a male family member to help out and get councelling

Answer 7

Sounds like you could use a break. Boys are a handful. Any brothers, uncles, grandfathers or close male friends available to take the boy off your hands for a few hours? If not, call a family member, friend or even a babysitter for a few hours off.

Answer 8

1. stop buying junk food
2. unplug the TV
3. put the bike away where he cant get to it til he realizes he wont get to ride without following rules

Answer 9

tell him dat next time he doesnt listen to u ur going to hit him harder than befor ground him or put him in his room until hes ready to calm down and b good around the hose and if dat doesnt work call nanny 911

Answer 10

Call NANNY 911!!!! OR KEEP SPANKING HIM!!!!!!