Parents: What would you do if you found out your fifteen-year-old son was abusing marijuana?

Answer 1

Well here is my bro's experience if it helps you. He started smoking pot around 16, just with friends for fun. And of course it eventually led to other stuff, even though he said it never would. Well he is now 24, has lost his wife and has missed a lot in his little girls life. About five months ago he woke up.... with a needle in his arm from using heroin. He came over to my mothers house crying, he almost died that night and not for the first time. He just graduated from a 5 month Christian based rehab center. Thank God for this achievement. He is now back with his wife and a changed person. I also use to smoke pot. My first time I was 13 years old only in the eighth grade. I didn't stop until I was seventeen. Not because of my parents but because the most important person in my life, my boyfriend, now my husband, told me he never wanted anything to harm me and feared that the things I was doing might. I am so glad that he told me this straight up. Don't let drugs ruin your sons life, it will happen, it always does. Pray to God for strength and for your son.

P.S. You should look into the people he's hanging around even family. You never know.

Answer 2

Smoke a bowl with him I guess? I think I was 12 when I smoked my first bit. Now honestly, I think if my son was 15 (he's 7 now) and I found out he was abusing marijuana, the key word here being abusing it, then I would take away his stash and ground him from seeing his friends for two weeks. If that didn't work and he turned into a total pot head, I'd have to send him to treatment and also to a psycitrist to find out why he is using the pot in the first place. Alot of times people have a chemical inbalance and use marijuana to keep it in check, a form of self medication. I know it works well for people who have OCD.
I smoked pot all through high school, because everyone did. I graduated in 95'. It wasn't till I grew up around 20 that I realised I didn't like it and just stopped accepting the pipe! Most of the parents I know still smoke alittle sometimes, either to help with back pain or to relax. As far as the effects on family life go, I think that having an alchoholic parent is way worse than having a stoner for a parent. Stoners don't usually beat their kids or get into horrible car accidents or pass out when they're supposed to be watching the baby.

Answer 3

I've been dealing with a similar situation. I have to say first off that this has alot to do with who he spends his time with. If the group of friends are smoking up then more than likely, he will be doing it as well. I've heard so much about how pot is not as bad as cigarettes, alchohol etc that I want to puke. It really doesn't matter! By smoking pot on a regular basis, stealing to get the money to buy it, arranging to buy it etc will undoubtedly put your son in a situation sooner rather than later where he is introduced to other drugs. Those who say pot is not a gateway drug seem to be working on the same teenage mentality that says the above things.
I would give him time to calm down so he isn't so defensive and I would really talk to him. Do some research so you know what you are talking about. Being high can definitely put teens in situations they might not have gotten into if they weren't high. Sex, other drugs, and a multitude of risky behaviours seem less threatening when you are high.
I would consider the other ideas of finding an AA or NA group to visit. Not just for him but for you. I've seen the road this can take in my own family so I might be a little more paranoid than others.
It could be a phase that peters out but it could lead to other more harmful behaviours. I just don't like the odds for the second option.
Best of luck to you! Trust your instincts and stick to your guns.

Answer 4

That's very tough, since so much of the reaction depends on the circumstances. Still, there are some points:
1. He's your kid, and he's your responsibility. You have a choice between cracking down on him or letting him get away with it, but that's your choice, not his.
2. Marijuana use, like alcohol use, is illegal for 15-year-olds. Your call, as a parent, whether you wish to enforce laws in your home, but don't lose sight of the fact that is a prosecutable offense.
3. Kids are stupid. That's not a knock, just an observation. I was, you were, it's part of being a kid. They have limited experience, and tend to be way overconfident in their abilities. Even the best-intentioned and smartest kids cannot be trusted to make wise or thoughtful choices. Part of your job as a parent is to show them how.
4. If you're going to crack down, don't do it half-way. Be thorough and only ease off if and when you trust him to follow your rules again. He's going to push it, because he's a teenager, so keep your eyes open and work on keeping him talking to you.

Answer 5

Mary Jane is legal here in Holland, and I used it a lot, when I was a teen, but stopped in my early 20ies.
I would sit that boy down and talk with him. Don't tell him stuff like: "You're a drug-addict, a junkie." Rather inform yourself at the internet beforehand, on sites, that are pro and on sites that are contra - the truth is in the middle of it. I would never promote marijuana, but it isn't as dangerous as Crystal Meth or other stuff, so as long, as he doesn't take too much of it and only marijuana, you can have a pretty calm talk about things like this.
You could say: "I'm aware, that you smoke pot, and I'm concerned about it, please tell me more - why do you use it and do you know about the possible dangers?" It's important, that your son doesn't feel judged upon - he'll be much eager to tell you things, if you don't display a judgemental attitude because of this.

I think, it's much of "the fascination of the forbidden" at that age. My parents would have killed me, if they would have known about the pot-smoking, when I was that age, but it didn't made me smoking less, but rather more. There was a thrill in it to cover it up.

That being said, I had a time, where I used to smoke it a lot, but I never touched anything else but pot, the other stuff was too scary in my eyes.

So while you certainly shhould talk with your son, you shouldn't over-react, either.

Answer 6

i can tell you right now it's not like becomming addicted to lsd or E it's very diffrent where those drugs can actullay kill you by over dose marijuana cant and there is no way to over dose actually he can smoke 20 cones a day and it won't halm him at all you see marijuana has an ingredant in it that actually helps to prevent cancer and i am sure that your familar with body products there is HEMP in almost ever product that you use in face creams and hand lotions and massage oil s well HEMP is marijuana it's a rexacent drug you might just find that it calms your son down and that he can actually focus on something for an extended period of time because thats what it does it makes u concentrate. don't jump down his throat about it talk to him tell him calmly what your worries are and hear his side of it too. good luck and don't be too concerned his fine

Answer 7

This is actually a great question. We have a 13 year old daughter, who has not experimented with drugs, and we would love to keep it that way. We try to make sure she is comfortable talking to us, so some of the conversations in our household might seem 'wrong' in the eyes of others, but we feel that she needs to be able to come to us for anything.

In our situation she knows that her dad did use drugs when he was younger, that he ended up quitting school and so forth... She also knows that I did NOT use drugs in school, that I was still semi-popular, that I graduated and went on to college.

Should she still decide to experiment I can guarantee you that we will put a stop to it. She has already been forewarned that it's not going to be accepted behavior from her, and she has been told what the consequences will be. She will lose all priveleges, she won't be allowed to hang around with the same group of friends, and if it becomes necessary she will be pulled out of school and homeschooled.

We have explained that as much as we refuse to accept that behavior, if she feels she is certainly missing out on something she will have plenty of time to experiment once she has graduated from highschool (and preferably college! lol) When she is old enough to live on her own and take care of herself she can make the decisions she so chooses, but until then she's going to live by our rules.

Parents are giving their children too much space these days - it's our job to show them which is the right path to take, BUT it is also our job to show them both paths. We have had many conversations with our daughter about drugs, we have showed her proof of what they do to your body and brain, and we have also come up with some great ways for her to say 'no' without looking like a "nerd."

Answer 8

Talk to him sincerely. Never scold him. Let him understand the effect of Marijuana to his body, and bring him always when you will go to the church and let your pastor or priest or minister advice him spiritually.

And while doing the above, you can do the following options:

1. Transfer your home to the place where he can't buy some.
2. Sent him to the rehab.

However, you must also know the reasons why he's using this. Does he has problems?

Another useful tip: Be your son's best friend. Talk to him always and play with him.

Answer 9

What do you mean by abusing, To begin with he should even be touching it let alone abusing it. I will report him to the authorities and make him feel a bit scared.

Answer 10

get a home drug testing kit from the drugstore, take away all privacy privileges(subject son to room-searches) limit time out with friends. As he passes drug tests, say give him one a week, they are like $10 each, restore a few privileges.