If a young girl is molested by her father, & becomes promiscuous in reaction, would God consider it a sin?

Question

If she finds herself re-enacting her abuse because as a child it was the only way she felt loved by her father (in other words, she didn't learn how to experience love without sex), would God consider that sinful, or would God consider her still innocent and a victim?

(I ask this because earlier responses to the question about whether mentally retarded people went to heaven leaned heavily toward "yes." The reaction described above is a common symptom of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder when someone was sexually victimized by a beloved caretaker.)

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Answer 1

For one thing, I don't consider "promiscuity" or having multiple sex partners to be a "sin." In fact, if a person practices safe sex, and is honest with everybody about his or her non-monogamy, I don't even consider it wrong. IMHO, it's only wrong if you're either exposing people to disease, or lying to them about your multiple partners.

Anyhoo: a loving, kind, compassionate god would never, ever consider this girl's behavior to be a "sin." However, the Biblical god probably would. From what I know of the Biblical god, he's a rat-b@stard with no empathy at all.

Answer 2

Yes, but only because He has to.

Sin is not doing wrong specifically, it's missing the mark. In this case, everyone from child molesters to even people who tell white lies for good intentions are sinners simply because it isn't the perfect thing to do.

However, as God is love, I believe He knows this and has taken it all into account. He would love to reach out and give that young girl the real love of a father if she would let Him and that will take all the wounds and trauma away and make her a whole person again, confident in herself because she is well and truly loved by Someone.

Answer 3

The way I see it, everyone is in control of their own actions. Although the father has a lot to answer to, the victim is still in control of her actions and how she responds to events in her life.
Let me give you an example to better illustrate my point:
My ex husband was neglected by his birth mother and his foster families abused him severely. During the time I was married to him, he nearly tried to beat me to death. He blames his violent tendencies on his past.
Granted, he was the victim at the hands of his caretakers. He learned how to hurt other people by the people who were supposed to love him. However, the responsibility of breaking the chain of domestic violence was up to him when he learned that it was wrong to treat people that way.

But it also sounds as if you are asking if it's a sin, even if someone has not learned that what he is doing is wrong.
If the girl in your example and the individual in my example honestly had no clue that their actions were harmful, then how could it be a sin?
I believe that without the knowledge of bad consequences to actions, then it becomes not a sin, but a gray area that the person needs to be educated on.

Answer 4

This reaction may be a common one, but it is one that indicates a sort of fugue state, a continual living in the moment of victimhood. This does not absolve the girl of her actions, though; even though the original abuse is a crime against her, her subsequent actions have her approval, even though she may be damaged. She is responsible, but she is also in need of treatment. She is long past innocence in this matter and needs to face it and move beyond it. She is compounding her problem by perpetuating it. She is responsible for seeking healing. As for whether God would consider it a sin, probably he would, since she makes a choice out of fear and conditioning, the same way one might make the choice to steal from the corner drugstore or cheat at cards or tell a white lie to make someone feel better.

I must admit to being biased against the "victim mentality." In my mind it perpetuates many problems in society and makes it socially acceptable to use a bad experience as a crutch or closet to keep from moving forward in life or healing properly and being a well-adjusted person. I would rather be known as a survivor than a victim.

Answer 5

Sin is Sin. What the father did is a sin.

The father will be judged more harshly because of what he did and, as a result of what he did, what the female did and is doing.

This, however, does not excuse her for her behavior. As much as we understand the whys and wherefores of her behavior, she is still ultimately responsible for her behavior. The promiscuity in her behavior may be taking place BEFORE she has a relationship with the Lord. Once she has that relationship, all that she had done in her past will be forgiven.

The issue of God seeing her as a victim or innocent will not come up once she has that relationship with him.

Answer 6

I can't confidently say at what point, if any, she would be accountable. I trust that God knows her heart and her responsibility to Him.

Of course, she, for her own sake, needs to stop the behavior. It's bad for her. She needs to heal. I believe that God's forgiveness and grace would help her. I also think she would need competent counseling.

I feel the same about children who were abused in other ways. Of course it causes damage that the child has no fault in creating. At some point, we become responsible for what we do with our lives, though. I think that's the purpose of crisis - of life becoming unmanageable. It's not insult to injury, it's a means of causing us to search for something better.

Answer 7

if both sides are willing then there actually isnt a problem >_< ( although it is incest and quite darn disgusting to think about it ) however when it comes to GOD being pulled into the picture then the father will be punished so badly for bringing up a child crafted by god in such twisted guidence and even sexually abuse her T_T

Answer 8

Most of our sins are results of having been sinned against. In this case, you are right, her sin is a reaction to the trauma received from her father. That does not mean she is incapable of making a choice. I believe she needs compassion, not condemnation. And I believe god looks on her with compassion. He doesn't see her as being any worse than the self-righteous prig who secretly spends his time peeking at pornography. On the contrary. She probably isn't pretending to be "good" at least. That's something the lord appreciates, from what I see in the New Testament. Jesus had compassion for sinners, because He saw them caught up in a web more powerful than them. That doesn't mean He denied their responsibility.
That is why He did the unthinkable: He took their punishment for them at the cross (you can replace "their" for "our").
We certainly are not called on to judge people, especially someone like you describe.
But she is NOT retarded. Any psychologist will tell you that.

Answer 9

What you need to understand is that GOD knows the heart and HE is able to understand us far better than we do ourselves. HE judges each of us by HIS standards and HIS standards are without fault. This person you speak of will or has come to the age of accountability when she will know that what happened to her as a child was wrong and not her fault. What she continues to do with her life, body, mind and spirit, is up to her and she will have to give an account to GOD for those decisions.
We cannot force GOD into a man shaped box and expect HIM to act or react the way men do. GOD is a loving GOD and it is not HIS will that any should perish but that ALL should come to repentance.

Answer 10

The word "Sin" originally meant "to miss the mark." It was synonomous with "stumble." Our current version of the word "sin" is a fallacy propogated by self-righteous Christians who couldn't honestly tell you what God was thinking if their lives depended on it. Would you presume to answer for God?? As for the promiscuous girl, telling her she's "sinning" is not going to be helpful. Best case scenario? She'll manage to find a guy who loves her for herself, and her skills and heart, and will manage to last in that relationship until she can believe it.