Ever since I got dumped I realised that he was not worth it, he does not deserve me in the first place. I have made no contact with him, only he made contact which some I ignored, I booked a trip to go to europe for 4 weeks, I am planning to move in with my best girlfriend and I have been started to go out and mingle with new people. I feel like I'm doing the right thing, but I can't stop thinking about my ex, he broke my heart, I tried to get some answers, he says that hes unhappy and doesn't love me anymore 2 months after he dumped me (which meant he dumped me unexpectantly and ran away with no reason) but he doesn't know why. I gave up finding the truth because I wanted to be happy again and live my life, but he's constantly in my mind and I can't get rid of it. I still love him, but I haven't done any extreme measures in getting him back like calling him or stalking him, because I know I am too good to be like that. What should I do?
2007-03-16 15:43:44 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it's called obsessive thinking, and this is how i handle it. i say "okay, i am going to think about nothing but this for the next 20 minutes" it's kind of like tricking your brain- if you tell yourself its okay to think about it, and then do, it gets old after a while. sometimes when you focus your attention on the negative, you just get sucked in even more..
i know it hurts to have your heart broken and i think a little journaling could help you- plus there would be the added benefit of reconnecting with yourself which is SO very important at this time.
it really sounds like you are doing all the right stuff- making other plans, taking a vacation, not spending too much time alone, not jumping into another relationship, not stalking him......... but DO take a look at your expectations of yourself!
you are human! we have emotions, we love and we grieve loss.......also, be careful of any extra meaning you give to the breakup. it doesn't mean you are never going to find anyone or you were meant to be alone etc.....
take care!
2007-03-16 15:59:11 · answer #1 · answered by snapper 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say it will take a long time, even when you sort of do the dumping men can stay with you. It will take a while. The trip to Europe is a great start. Try to enjoy yourself, everyday should get easier. Personally, I still think about 3 or 4 men that i have had in my life, everyday. That may just be me, and the one that deserved me the least is on my mind the most. It's tough, but it will make you stronger. Move on, and love again.
2007-03-16 15:56:15 · answer #2 · answered by ME!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely it's normal. No matter how long a girl goes out with a guy and they separate, it's really hard on the female. I think that on big contributor is that you feel it's your fault and it's not all your fault and you can't blame it on you. Every moment you spend with him is/was one less moment you could have been meeting someone new. You might want to forget about him all you want and everything (well, most of the things) he's done with/to you, but no matter what, he'll still be with you emotionally. That bond you had with him will never leave permanently or with a snap of the fingers but slowly fade away. I think that if you feel guilty, you should just be friends and maybe go see a movie or have coffee (depending on your age) and thats how you want it to be. Be assertive and if he can't respect you and your decision, then tell him that it's best you just don't have contact at all.
I hope for the best!
:)
2007-03-16 16:00:33 · answer #3 · answered by marshallbball2323 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is natural. You are doing the right thing by moving on, but no matter if he was good or bad to you, it will take a long while to get over him. This just means that you have a good and loving heart. Get your mind right and figure out what you want and then when it's time for you to be more than friends with someone else, you will be ready- with no baggage.
2007-03-16 15:48:40 · answer #4 · answered by nancyshannon53406 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont do anything unless u want him back. Even then i dont suggest stalking....lol
I think u need to go out and date other men before u decide the ex is who u want. U can be without someone, but until u allow someone else in to take ur mind off of the ex, u honestly cant sort your true feelings.
So,,,,,,,,,date other guys for awhile. See if any of them light your fire before u decide to retry your relationship with the ex.
He dont sound like he deserves u honestly, and making a rash decision could be toxic.
Good luck hun.
2007-03-16 15:49:29 · answer #5 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are on the right normal road homegirl. Keep your head up and dont let your emotions begin to run you into a muck!! Stay strong for all of us who cant. More power too you. If you only knew the strengths you have in dealing with a undecided boyfriend rejecting you. Guys do this sometimes and usually girls will be like why, why why as their life passes them by. But you got skills and strength. My hats off to you. Keep doing what your doing and the feelings will die down. Only God knows when they will go away but I can promise they will die down as time goes on. Good luck.
2007-03-16 15:49:50 · answer #6 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait a little more time you have to get over him sooner or later but you will he is not worth it at all he broke your heart he doesnt deserve you your way to much for a stupid guy who runs away with out an explanation..
2007-03-16 15:52:35 · answer #7 · answered by me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hm, i know what you mean! except mine has been for 2 yrs and getting older! haha, well i would say do what you can. talk to him but not for too long and talk to him if he talks to you. but if you can tell he's not interested anymore, just forget it. he's not worth your time.
2007-03-16 15:47:59 · answer #8 · answered by KikkomanLady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it more time.... you'll get over him eventually.. u just need a distraction.. like a new boyfriend
2007-03-16 15:48:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋