If you were my girlfriend, what would you do?

Question

Well I've broken my girlfriends trust in me by telling a stranger about something she told me to not tell anyone, since it was the most intimate part about her. The reason I told this stranger (who I really thought could help) was because of a last resort in trying to help my girlfriend, at the time I was not really thinking clearly but all I had in mind was my girlfriends problem she had. Not that this is any excuse because at the end of the day I broke her trust.
She finished with me but then after ahwile decided to give me one more chance - but this doesn't mean her trust is now back in me obviously.
I know I would never be dishonest with her again, not even if I had a gun held to my head or I thought I was doing it for the reason I did last time.
I'm not all that religious but today I sat in church for one hour, more or less asking for forgivness since I know how much I hurt her. I know that I will never do that again, but will she ever know this? Thanks for any advice

Answer 1

I'd give you the benefit of the doubt and see how things go. After all, it's not like you cheated, and your motivation for breaking her trust was good. It sounds like she's decided to give you a second chance, so make the most of it!

Answer 2

Tell her this not us........trust is a touchy thing, once broken not easily fixed. Time is the only thing that will heal this wound. I'm sorry about a billion times followed by I will never do it agains and hopefully chocolate and foot rubs go a long way too. Since she gave you a second chance she obviously cares, when she is calm explain to her what you did was obviously wrong but this is why I did it and I will never do this again. Next time you think someone can help, use hypothetical situations and if they think they can help, then ask you gf if she minds. If its something that she needs help with she may not be opposed, but let her know you would never betray her trust again. Good Luck, Hope your forgiven!

Answer 3

Building trust back up is a slow process but have you explained that you only shared her secret because you wanted to help her? Maybe the burden you had of carrying something like that without sharing it with someone else was too hard. If she is a genuine person then she shouldnt be without reason, you can talk about the reason you broke her trust together and then maybe she will trust you again.

Just dont tell anybody else!! How did she find out anyway?
You must have picked the wrong person to confide in.
Dont do it again!!!! LOL.

Answer 4

Either it must be a huge secret or she is overreacting in my opinion. The perk about telling a stranger is that it maintains anonynity - it is the stranger on a plane effect - they will never see you again and most likely forget what was said after you get off the plane. Thus it's kind of like you never told anyone, and you only had the best of intentions in mind. I would say you are being a very good boyfriend - perhaps your girlfriend should give you the benefit of the doubt - it's not like you slept with a stripper. Just give her time and I would assume if she is a reasonable girl you will move past this just fine.

Answer 5

If you talked to someone else because you were trying to help her or keep her from hurting herself - you had every right to talk with someone else. If you talk with a shrink, they keep everything confidential - unless, the person is going to hurt them self or someone else - intentionally or unintentionally.

You did the right thing by getting outside help. Because of her past, though, she felt betrayed. In time, she'll realize that what you did was not violate her trust but help her. She will forgive you and eventually, thank you for caring enough to want to help.

Not all of us can solve our problems ourselves. They seem to overwhelm us and we can't see the forest through the trees. Outsiders, especially strangers that don't pass judgment, are good to help you sort out the details.

She will forgive you and the two of you will grow closer. Forget the past and move forward towards the future, together. Hugs.

Answer 6

Time. It will take time. Thats how trust is earned in the first place. She needs to see for herself that you really werent thinking right or that you were desprate. But she can only see that with time. It's funny, time fixes everything, and yet there is so little of it. Makes you wonder if that means certain things are not ment to be mended. But I think you'll be fine.

Answer 7

Hi Jonny, I have to say, I think you're a good, honorable young man. Kudos to your parents. You made a mistake, and are sincerely making up for it. You should be able to earn her trust again. I know she must be hurt, but if she cannot see remorse, and trust you again, the loss will be hers. It's not like you cheated on her. Good luck to you and make sure any woman you are with is worthy of your sincerity!!

Answer 8

The only time I would suggest telling something to someone is if she was going to harm herself or was suicidal. If this was the case, you did the right thing. If not, you betrayed her, and this is a no-no in any relationship. You did the right thing in asking for forgiveness, just be positive and everything will be fine.

Answer 9

For me it would depend on exactly what it was you did...or what the secret was that you told. If it was THAT horrible to break up with you for I guess the trust would have to be earned over a long period of time and you would have to work very hard to get it back...VERY hard!

Answer 10

I'd give you another chance.
Don't feel too guilty about it now, though.
Whats done its done and next time you know better.
Just make sure you know how sorry you are that you hurt her, and you will regain her trust eventually.