okay I am getting married this coming April and this sunday we got several messages from our best man, he was all drunk and wasted saying he was in the hospital and my FI father got several messages from him that he got a girl pregnant. An hour later he called and said he was kidding. this isnt the first time he did something like this and him being the best man wasnt really our choice. while he was drunk he was saying how he was going coming to the wedding buzzed. My FI payed for his deposit on a tux and even got him out of jail a few times, he even picked him up at 3 somedays. So we told him we are sorry but we cant have him be the best man, now my FI grandma is not going to the wedding because of this. everytime, they get in a arguement, his grandma is alway on his brothers side. FI brother is also denied the whole thing and convince others not to come. we have saved the messages he has left. fi grandmother dont want us to come over either!!
2007-03-16 14:53:20 · 10 answers · asked by Newlywed 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
As hard as it is to have some of your family members not attend your wedding, it could be worse to have your day ruined. You should talk with your family and especially your fiance' and decide which is more important..your day going smoothly or all our family being there. We chose to have our day go smoothly and I dont regret it a bit. If people truly care about you they will attend and be happy for you regardless of who else is or isn't invited.
2007-03-16 14:59:07 · answer #1 · answered by Mommy-of-Twins 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think everyone tends to get wrapped up in the unimportant stuff when it comes to their wedding... you aren't going to care in 20 years what the font on your invitations said, or even if his brother had too much to drink... maybe let him keep his title of 'best man' and let someone else make the speech... because shunning his family from your wedding WILL cause problems down the road... they wont like you any better just because you have another ring... a few minor slip ups or even a major freak out at the wedding wont matter a year from now, but they will never forgive you for not having them there...
it is your day, but you have to realize the problems cutting his family out will cause...
2007-03-16 17:32:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, grandma sounds pretty childish first off, so let her miss it, maybe because it's family, and she picks sides and so forth, it's dissappointing, even hurts, but she sounds like she would just throw a wrench in things or be miserable, and make a point of making everyone else feel the same also, so good ridance! This is your day not theirs and they have no consideration for that whatsoever. Maybe his bro thinks he's funny but how would he feel if he couldn't trust his best man to be there and be tactful? I don't understand because it is your choice who the best man is....yes really!!! He sounds like he's way too immature for the responcibility and to be supportive....be smart, he's not just making a joke he is one, and as much as you may not like to hear it, you already know admitting it or not, so do yourselves a favor and find choose someone you want who can also be there in your honor, and anybody who sides with anything but what makes the two of you happy, family or otherwise, leave them out.....their just showing up for the free boose and to be a spectacle anyhow...hopefully this is a once in a lifetime event, don't let them or yourselves ruin it for you by having them there....best of luck to you both on what should be a joyful day
2007-03-16 15:10:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
his need for constant attention and drama is very typical alcoholic behavior-not to mention the drinking.
you did not say if this guy is related, but from what i gather, he is your fiances ? brother or cousin?
i would discuss it with your man- which is worse- not having all of your family there, or having a loose cannon at your wedding. maybe discuss it with your family- i'm certain there are probably a thousand examples of his selfish and immature behavior. "look, i am only getting married one time- this is OUR special day, and mr. a cannot be trusted to not cause some kind of commotion. what? you aren't coming? well that is very disappointing and i will miss not having you at MY WEDDING, but you are always welcomed if you change your mind"
call their bluff- do not be manipulated and made to feel guilty by the rest of the family.
take care!
2007-03-16 15:15:23 · answer #4 · answered by snapper 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How sad this is, but if there is the slightest chance he will spoil your wedding day, you have every right to tell him that he can't be the best man. Talk to the family in a calm rational manner and they will probably come to realize you are right.
2007-03-16 15:03:51 · answer #5 · answered by Virginia C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is YOUR day remember, your rules. It is a privilege not an obligation to be invited to your wedding. It is their loss if they don't want to attend due to the dude's immaturity. This is your day, and you should be surrounded by people who will respect your feelings not make you feel guilty about them, as you start your new life together, be surrounded with the right people.
2007-03-16 15:13:47 · answer #6 · answered by ACTS 4:12 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say it was a good call to ditch the best man - doesn't sound like a 'best' kinda man to me.
If other family members can't see how horridly this could affect your wedding then they are going to just have to suck it up and come or not go to your wedding.
I know it is hard but you aren't going to be able to please everyone so on this day of all days please yourselves!
Good luck!
2007-03-16 19:06:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not to be cruel or immature you should honestly see a shrink cause I woudnt want to have my wedding with this many family issues.
2007-03-16 16:15:22 · answer #8 · answered by Aces747 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honey, it's YOUR wedding. Don't let ANYONE spoil it for you and your fiance!
2007-03-16 16:40:28 · answer #9 · answered by fdsergent 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would make sure those people didn't attend.
2007-03-16 15:09:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋