"Americans". His aunt who is like his mother is always saying bad stuff about Haitian people, and always trying to put me down because of where I am from. But I am a very proud Haitian, and I will never be ashamed of where I am from. But sometimes she really get on my nerves, and I don't want to be disrespectful. What do you think I should do?
2007-03-16 13:59:06 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Welcome to the club! I moved to North America too, after mariage to the "superior" National. They in-law seemed happy for their son to have found love. But after a while, I' was dealing with a lot of emotional challenges, and confusions. My in-laws seem to act nicely, but they put me down in conversations. They think they know everything, and wouldn't give me time to share knowledge. They behaved as if my oppinions are not important bcoz I'M not from America. I don't now if they realise it, but after I've been depressed and having low self-esteem, I explained evrything to my mother-in-law in an email. She swears they did not intend to do it or didn't realise what was going on???
They give me more attention now in conversations, and the situation is getting better. Maybe u should do the same and be frank with them. But I admit it was not easy fight with my hubby over his family. He thought I was making this up.
I feel for you, pray for her and good luck!
2007-03-16 14:31:22 · answer #1 · answered by She-whom-shall-not-be-named 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
With some mothers it doesn't matter where their sons girlfriend is from,its a matter of no one is good enough for her son.Your fiance chose you for the person you are don't let his mother and aunt come between you.Maybe your fiance can have a talk with his mum and aunt,tell them how much he loves you and wants the family to respect you.I am happy you are proud of where you are from,why wouldn't you be.America is not the be all and end all of the world,though some Americans think it is! Be Happy with each other and put each other first
2007-03-16 14:09:00 · answer #2 · answered by tuppenybitz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends, if she is saying negative stuff to your face, you definately have a right to address the situation and tell her how you feel about her always trying to degrade you and your country of birth. However, if she is saying these things to your fiance, he has the right to put a stop to it without you even telling him to. I also feel that he shouldn't come to tell you about it and should have a serious conversation with his aunt asking her to respect the choice he has made and if she can't do that then she really shouldn't be apart of your lives. He has to have a backbone and stand up for you and the relationship, noone should be able to talk about you negatively and condone it, regardless of who it is!!! Nip it in the bud, because it will only get worse and may ultimately affect the relationship you have with your soon to be husband, loyality is really important especially in marriage and if he can't be loyal and have your back before marriage, I shudder to think when you get married how he will be. Good luck
2007-03-16 14:19:38 · answer #3 · answered by spoiltrini 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First understand women can be caddy when it comes to relationships and their sons. They don't want to lose their babies. You may be competition for his love. (I know it is not rational buy we are talking mother in-laws.)
Second you need to have your fiance talk to his mother and aunt and let them know he will always love and need them. Then he needs to make sure you are not disrespected.
2007-03-16 14:34:42 · answer #4 · answered by SuperKdog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yr. fiancee should tell the old bag to stuff it. just because she's like his mother doens't give her the right to speak in such an abusive manner to his fiancee. if he is too much of a wimp to do that, maybe you should forget about him.
2007-03-16 14:05:25 · answer #5 · answered by njyogibear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋