I have been seriously going out with my boyfriend for 3 years, and I just don't feel the same way about him anymore. He on the other hand says I am the best thing to ever happen to him, and he loves me so much... But I can't say the same for him. I feel like we have nothing in common. Our relationship is now long distance too (I went back home from college, he's still there) and I hate talking on the phone with him. Its just not pleasant, but I can't for the life of me break up with him. I can't do that to him... So I don't know what to do. I know I'm not happy though, but I keep feeling that its a phase and I should be in love with him. Please help me!
2007-03-16 13:49:58 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I understand completely. I'm on a college student in a long-distance/ long-term relationship. Being far away from the guy who used to be there all the time is terrible. But from your description you just ended the honeymoon stage. It's when you stop feeling those butterflies and tingles when he's there. Two ways to cure this, one is easy and the other is hard.
#1 Dump him. It's easy. Find someone else who gives you those butterflies again. But I warn you, it's only a matter of time before they go away again.
#2 Work through it. For this you're going to need to communicate your feelings with your boyfriend. Tell him you don't feel your connection anymore. Ask him about ways to fix this. (When this happened to me and my boyfriend we decided I needed to feel appreciated and loved. So randomly I get a surprise package from him or a love letter or flowers. When we are together we go out and do something like go hiking or take dance lessons. We might not have that much in common but we make it so we have something in common.) If you think something like this will make your relationship better then tell him! Make sure he understands what you want. Also, if he needs something more from you then you need to be able to work on it.
Basically, you need to talk with your boy friend and both of you need to be willing to work it out. Otherwise, there is no chance it's going to work out. It's going to take some time so be patient. But if you get through it then your relationship will be stronger than it ever was.
Good luck on your decision.
2007-03-16 14:19:36 · answer #1 · answered by dumdum4eva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you felt like this? Since being back or before when you were at college? Sometimes we cant help it but fall out of love just as we fell in love with someone. How much longer before your bf comes home from college? Is it worth holding off any rash decision until he moves back and you see each other more regularly? Once he does you may feel differently, or maybe the relationship has just run its course. Too hard to do anything about right now. Sorry hun, but if I were you, I'd wait a little bit and see how you feel. Hopefully you'll be happier by reading this and that it may help. Good luck whichever way you go!!
2007-03-16 13:58:44 · answer #2 · answered by mamabear_45 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Three years eh... well maybe if you want to work this out, spice **** up a bit... It's sounds odd but all you probably got now is sex. You seem down and for the best i think you guys should end it... its not fair to him, it will be hard but if you truly have a place for him in your heart spare him the fakeness. Its worth maybe you and him both have to find something and someone new
2007-03-16 14:10:50 · answer #3 · answered by M-A- Double T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should be straight honest with your boyfriend. its not fair for him to be in a relationship with someone that doesn't feel that strongly toward him, and its not fair for you to be in a relationship with someone that you are not in love with. plus, i'm not saying that you are the cheating type, but if you stay in this relationship for any longer, you are eventually going to run into someone that you are going to fall for. then, you will either cheat on your current boyfriend (which will kill him) or leave him for another man (which will kill him). if you leave him now, you could save him a ton of heartache. just becuase yaw split doesn't mean you can't be friends. i'm not an expert, but i do hope that what i had to say helped. :)
2007-03-16 13:58:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said "long distance relationship", is it because you are not spending enough time with him thats why you feel that you are not in love with him...
What are your feelings when you are spending time together with him, use that as your judgement.
2007-03-16 14:00:56 · answer #5 · answered by Meow 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough time in any relationship. Thisi s when our instincts take over your thoughts. If you're still unhappy when you're with him, he's not for you.
2007-03-16 13:56:08 · answer #6 · answered by Starstruck in LovE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like someone has found a new boyfriend...
2007-03-16 13:54:19 · answer #7 · answered by Tarro 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋