Is this a horrible idea????

Question

I have an 8 year old daughter. I'm always telling her the importance of not talking to strangers and what to do if someone tried to get her into their car, etc.. She is very friendly and outgoing and I'm not too sure how serious she takes me.

She plays outside in the back of our complex often - I can always see her.

I wanted to have someone I know but she doesn't know to start a conversation with her and see if they could persuade her to get into their car. Is this horrible?? I'm really curious to see what she would do. There are so many abductions of kids, it just makes me so nervous.

I'm really trying to be a good parent - so I hope this question doesn't offend anyone or anything.

Thank you!

Answer 1

at first thought, this seemed like a good idea to me. but then i thought "what if she found out that you set it up and then it happened for real? would she think that was a set up too and play along?" honestly, just for this reason i wouldnt do it. even if you dont tell her you set it up, if by some chance she finds out and then it really happens, she may think you are testing her again and that could be a disaster. just keep emphasizing how important it is that she not talk to strangers, no matter what.

Answer 2

I do think that the intention of this is really caring and good, but i do think it may be a little extreme. I think that it might work if your daughter will understand why you did it and the real dangers of what could happen if she accepts to come in the strangers car. I would only do it if you really feel that you have to if it is the only way to teach your daughter that, otherwise i would try to find an article from a newspaper that will say that this has happened to another girl and the devastating impact it had, or do it another way.

Answer 3

I agree it's a good idea I actually thought about this for my son. I also realized that all children are told by there parents not to talk to strangers and we teach them about the no candy, or I lost my puppy situation. Try and ask your kids these questions and test there response. I was shocked with my sons answer. Ask them what if somebody asked to come with them because your mom/dad is hurt. ( wait for the response) Ask them what if a stranger was your next door neighbor that you say hello to everyday would you go with them? ( wait for the response) Ask them what about a stranger offering you a new toy, a doll, an x-box game or anything your child likes? (wait for the response) I was so shocked at my sons answers to these simple questions that a creative stranger could possibly pose on a child.

Answer 4

I think it's a good idea. So many times parents tell their children the same things you have and feel confident they would never go with a stranger, however, they have had hidden camera shows that set the child up exactly as you want to. The show I saw was one where the children were playing and a man (who was an undercover officer) came and said he had lost his puppy. He told the children he didn't know the area very well and asked them to ride with him to find the lost puppy. Of 5 children, only one said no. Their mother's were in the van watching on the closed circuit television and were astonished their children fell for this ploy. Go for it. It is for her own good and for your peace of mind.

Answer 5

I dont think its a bad idea. I have a 10 , 7 and 3 year old and the 10 and 7 year old always play outside. I have talked to them Thousands of times about strangers and they have even seen some of the things on the news about kidnapped children. They really seemed to listen to me and I would ask questions and they would answer correctly.......WELL obviously its different for them in a real situation, because I was watching my 7 year old from the window playing, and a truck with a man and woman drove up into our alley and told my son to come to them and HE DID! I couldnt believe what I was seeing, so I pounded on the window told him to get away and then ran outside. I just absolutely couldnt believe he actually went to the alley near their truck to talk to them. Boy did I get after him for that one and we had a huge talk. Its very scary out there and you would think having the stranger talk with your child many many times would sink it, but it just doesnt. You may want to see what she does and then have that talk with her again. Hopefully she is listening and wont go up to them.

Answer 6

I have often thought about doing something similar to my 7 year old son....but as some people have pointed out, what if they think you are pulling one over on them again. It's very scary to think about indeed. My son talks to everybody, and we have been talking about strangers alot lately. He has been learning alot about strangers at school as well. I ask him questions, to see what his response would be. I have also tested him about answering the door. We live in an apartment, so when I go outside to check the mail.... I come back, knock on the door & hide, I want to know if he'll answer. Sometimes he does, and sometimes he doesn't.
You CAN'T drill it in their heads enough!!
I work with my local police dept, and read all kinds of heart breaking reports on a daily basis.
The thought of someone hurting one of my kids terrifies me.

Good Luck with your decision

Answer 7

well.. if she did go with the person.. at least it would be shock enough to her to not do it again hopefully! and at least you will know what she would do etc.. i doubt if it would be too harmful to her if the person drove her home and you told her about stranger danger again (if she got in the car with them!).. i understand it, because it is a very scary thing, and your idea is kind of just like having fire drills.. practise so you know what to do in the real situation! it could actually end up being quite beneficial.. if she gets in the car though don't scare her too much, but make sure she realizes how dangerous it COULD have been if you didn't know it was happening..

Answer 8

I think it's a good idea. It's better you do it with someone you know, than have an actual person do it and find out she doesn't know not to get in the car with a stranger. It will be too late then. Good luck.

Answer 9

It's a GREAT idea! Why wait until the situation arises to "test" her? It could be too late if she hasn't learned the lessons you are trying to teach her.

My husband is a police officer and I was terrified to have a gun in our home because of our son. We've been teaching him the three things to do if he ever sees a gun: 1) DON'T Touch It! 2) Leave the room immediately and 3) Get an adult.

Since we weren't sure he was actually "learning" it, my husband put an EMPTY gun on the floor one night to see what my son would do. He followed ALL the rules! The best part was afterwards when he went up to Daddy and said "Daddy, you shouldn't leave your gun on the floor - that's dangerous!".

I see nothing wrong with "testing" our children if our intention is to keep them safe. The State "tests" our children before they're allowed to drive so why can't we as parents "test" them in life lessons to keep them safe?!?!

Good luck! I hope she passes! :)

Answer 10

In some ways it is a good idea, but if you do this now and in the future a stranger does come up to her she may think you are pulling one over on her again and go with the person. Just keep reminding her not to talk to strangers pound it in to her head on what she is to do if approached.