i have guys climbing all over me, and every single one of them wants to have sex with me. i just let them settle with seeing me naked and making out, occasionally i hand cuff them to there beds and "torchure" them.
2007-03-16 13:01:39 · 24 answers · asked by Miley C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ya...wait. its tuff to say no n sometimes when u do, it feels like the wrong decision. but wait. ull get alot of respect for it
2007-03-16 13:04:56 · answer #1 · answered by thequeenfan_11 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
***HOW TO SAY NO TO SEX
Having sex is supposed to be special... not something you a girl gets pressured into. Choosing not to have sex until you're ready is totally mature. But making the decision isn't the end of the story - you need to be prepared to defend that choice, if a guy challenges you on it.
If a guy you care about (or any guy) is trying to convince you into sex, here are sum tips for how to turn him down nicely (but firmly), so he understands.
1. Take a deep breath and say these words, "No, I don't want to have sex".
2. If the question comes up while you are kissing or fooling around, stop what you are doing and change the tone of the moment. Emphasize your words with actions. That means not saying "no" while you two are groping. Back off, take a breath, stand up if necessary. Then say "I do not want to have sex now."
3. Be prepared for questions, and maybe for objections. Boys are trained to try and turn our "nos" into "yeses." Don't let him talk you out of what you know is right. Stay true to yourself and your stated feelings. If you kiss sombody passionately or get into heavy fooling around this does not mean that you have to go all the way and it does not make you a tease.
4. Calmly explain why you choose not to have sex yet, or right now. List all of your reasons, be they religious, moral, personal or situational (or any combination of these). Give this some thought before you get physical with guys, so you know what your reasons are! Don't be embarrassed or think you will sound immature. Choosing not to have sex is VERY mature.
5. If you have had sex before, don't let the other preson use this to bully you into it now. Just because you have done it before doesn't mean you have to do it every time you are asked. If you are not a virgin, you can still be proud about saying "NO." You are NOT a hypocrite if you have sex one time and then not another time - even if it is with the same person.
6. Tell the other person how you feel about them and be honest. If you don't feel close enough to them yet, say so. If you really love them but aren't interested in sex right now, say so.
7. Tell the other person the depth of your commitment to keeping yourself innocent. If you don't plan on having sex until you are married, say so. If you are curious about sex but you know you are not ready, say so.
8. There is no reason for you to downplay how you feel about sex, or sex with this specific person. At times like this honesty is an absolute must. Don't hint at "later" if what you mean is "never" or "in 3 years" or "not until I am married."
9. If the other person keeps on pressing, say "No!" again. You may have to say this more than once to make them see you are serious. It's a good idea to put some space between you if they keep pressuring you.
10. Do not try to soften the tension of the situation with lots of kissing and/or other physical activities. This will confuse your message of "No!".
11. Draw the line firmly and if the other person doesn't appear to be getting it, leave.
12. If the other person starts trying to coerce you or force you to have sex YELL "No!" and physically push them away. Do whatever you have to in order to get free. You can always talk about it the next day.
13. If the other person pulls the old "If you loved me you'd do it" line. come back at them with "If you loved me you'd wait". The truth is, sex is NOT a test of your love or feelings for another person. Saying "No!" to sex does NOT mean you have failed to show your love. If he loves you he will wait for you forever if needed, and that's all there is to it. Intimacy takes many forms, intercourse is not the only or best way to show somebody the depth of your feelings. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise.
14. If you feel uncertain of your ability to stay true to your initial "No!", leave the situation. Your first instinct was to say no and now is not the time to second guess yourself.
15. Remind yourself that if it was meant to be with you and this other person, it was meant to be right for BOTH of you, not only one of you. Saying no now does not mean you are saying no forever.
16. Remember, having sex is a big deal and abstaining from sex is more than acceptable. Despite what rumors and gossip may suggest, virgins are a majority in most high schools, not a minority.
*Much Love* **God Bless**
2007-03-16 13:06:10 · answer #2 · answered by Tell Mariee 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You simply say NO! You have to have respect for yourself in order to gain the respect of others. I have seen many girls say yes just to make somebody happy, but they weren't quite ready. Suppose you get pregnant? Suppose they have a disease? Suppose they act like they love you and it was only about the sex? Represent yourself in a respectful manner. One day someones climbing on you and the next day they're climbing on someone else. Most of the time guys pressure, but they can only go as far as you allow them.
2007-03-16 13:07:16 · answer #3 · answered by cynthia2817@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to have sex, you shouldn't lead them on by doing what you're doing... you're what's known as a c**ktease (or, more simply, a tease). You're going to get a bad reputation whether you have sex or do everything but sex... Be careful because one day, a guy's not going to understand that your "no" means "no" and he'll think you're just playing the part to be coy and he may end up raping you... and that's really not cool.
There's nothing wrong with guys liking you, but you shouldn't lead them on.
2007-03-16 13:05:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie,
I understand the pressure, I do.
Just know that mixed messages, especially for guys, can be a problem. You could get hurt, or even raped. "This wont happen to me" is an easy mentality. But I'm telling you, from personal, experience, that IT CAN.
Please be careful, and be aware of what you are doing.
:]
2007-03-16 13:15:50 · answer #5 · answered by love anyway 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them you are saving your virginity for your future husband, and that they arn't your future husband and don't deserve it. If they say they want to they are probably lying just so that you will lay them. If they say that really plan on being your future husband (this person must be desperate) make them prove it. Good luck, and wait for your prince charming ;)
2007-03-16 13:07:17 · answer #6 · answered by Holla!! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i no u sound just like me im 17 and i have to say no sex all the time iv even hed some guys follow in to the girls bathrrom asking for it so i had to i lok doin it and if you realy want to say no tell them you'll do it later
2007-03-16 14:14:26 · answer #7 · answered by brigid r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just do it already girl. Have freaky hot, sweaty, marathon sex. It's the best. Use a jimmy though.
2007-03-16 13:04:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want to say no to sex all you have to do is find the courage within you to do so.
2007-03-16 13:08:46 · answer #9 · answered by Patience 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah! you definitely know how to TORTURE sounds like....
For starters, STOP TEASING them like that... You are sending the WRONG MESSAGE!
Mixed messages aren't good for men... or for anyone for that matter.
2007-03-16 13:05:38 · answer #10 · answered by Me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋