Should i waive my rights?

Question

My ex of 3 years and who i had a son with is telling me im a terrible father and a horrible person. Maybe its months of hearing how much i suck and how terrible i am and because of that maybe on a subconcious level im beginning to believe her. But im at the point where im beginning to belive its in my sons best interest for him to never know me

Today is his first birthday. I havent seen him in over 6 months. She tries to hurt me by telling me what he has done. Ive never seen him crawl, seen him walk, or heard him talk. It tears my guts out but if she is right and its in his best interest to not know me im willing to make that sacrafice if its best for him i dont care what it does to me

Answer 1

she is probably just putting you down because you are not together you and your child have the right to have a relationship no matter how she feels about you if you know that you are a good dad and you do your best then it shouldn't matter how she feels about you if you dont interact with your baby when he gets older he will be raised to think badly about you when really you did nothing at all

Answer 2

Do you feel like you are a good father? Are you there for your son, do you pay support on time, do you show up to see him when it is your time to visit? Do you keep your promises to him, do you put his best interests first? Do you feel that he is the most important thing in the world and you would do anything for him and you would sacrifice everything so that he will benefit and grow to be the best person he can be? If you answered yes to all these questions, then you should not sign away your rights. If you answered no to any of these questions then you need to rexamine your life, make the changes you need to if you want to be apart of his life. If you do not want to be apart of his life, then you need to do the right thing and sign away your rights. I would not let your ex make the decisions or choices for you, you are a grown man and you should be mature enough to decide either way and feel right about it. I have been through all this with my ex and we are currently in the process of him signing his rights over. I have remarried and my husband now is a terrific father to my son. In this situation I gave my ex plenty of opportunities to be apart of my sons life and he never followed through. But I feel like he finally made a mature decision. He knew that he could never be the type of father my son needed. It was better to sign his rights over than to continue to confuse and hurt him. You need to sit down and think this all over. Pray, hopefully whatever happens will be the best and right thing for your son. God Bless.

Answer 3

Well let me start by saying that my ex-husband was horrible, he didn't pay child support, when he had the children (after I forced him ) they would smell like smoke, be dirty and at times covered with urine. He did drugs, slept with whores, literally, he had these women around my children and would leave them with the women over night sometimes. He would leave for months at a time and then just pop back into their lives. If you are doing any of the above, then yes, your child is better off without you. My ex has signed over his rights and the children have been adopted. If you arn't doing the terrible things listed above, then tell you ex to go to hell, get a lawyer, get set visitation and start spending time with your son who is suffering right now. If you need to get your act together, then start ASAP. You need to go one way or the other though, it is worse on the child to have a parent that just pops in and out then to not have one at all. So you need to forget what she has said, and be a father ,she has no choice, if you are the father you have rights.

Answer 4

I work in foster care, and I would have to agree that children would rather have parents that "suck" then no parents at all. If you are there for him when he needs you, which might not be the most convenient for you. Make you sure you attend things that are important to him, such as sports his is involved in even if your ex is there. You don't have to talk with her, you are there for your son. If you are involved in things that are important to him he will know that your ex lying about how much you suck, maybe not now, but when he is older. But on the flip side no matter how much you want to you can not talk to your son about how much your ex sucks... be the better person

Answer 5

I agree with the person who said any child would rather have a sucky dad than none at all. I mean having a sucky dad isn't the greatest, but at least he's there. And I highly doubt you are a bad father if you are still around. You obviously care about your son. Why does she think you are a bad father? Maybe she is just mad at you because you are no longer together. I think it's in your son's best interest if you stick around and be a father to him.

Answer 6

OK man listen now first as a father myself you just pissed me off but later for that, you need to really tell us why it is in there best interest to not know there father and how can you let this woman take your man hood from you so let me change my mind and say OK give up your rights so they want have a wimp for a father but if you are a man then get your damn kids back

Answer 7

are you nuts, get in a fathers group, grow up and take responsibility, you cannot just waive your rights unless some one is going to adopt, i don't know why people think it's that easy your ex is wrong about that if that is what she is telling you, NO JUDGE WOULD ALLOW IT, , don't you love your child, if you believe your a terrible dad then fix it, go to a class or two, stop feeling sorry for yourself and act like a dad, why would you waive your rights? because it's easy get a grip act like an adult take care of your child and fight for them, become a better person no one wins if you turn your back, ignore your ex think about your son you jerk

Answer 8

I disagree with you. You should never give up. Just because she has issues with you, doesn't make you a terrible father. However, turning your back on your child, would. He will want to know who his father is, whether his mother likes you or not. As long as you are doing the best you can as a father, I wouldn't worry what she, or anyone else says.

Answer 9

By reading your story NO do not waive your rights and do not let her make you believe you aren't worth your son knowing. Get a lawyer and fight for your RIGHT to see your child. While some of us who would wish for the dead beat dads to drop out of the picture, you sound like you genuinly love and care for the best interests of your child and she sounds like she just wants to punish you for a relationship that went wrong.

Answer 10

the fact that u would give up the rights to see ur son if its his best interest and because it hurts u so much i think that proves u r a good father that cares for ur baby..... ur ex is probably just trying to hurt u..... see ur baby..... i'm sure u'll be (are) a great father..... u may not be perfect but no parent starts out as an expert.....