Marine coming back next week from Iraq...?

Question

I mean he has probably changed. But should we just react the normal way we did before he went? Thanks.

Did I mention he is only a friend.

Answer 1

As a Vet who spent 2 years in Iraq myself, the answer is act normally. Yes, he's changed and will need time to readjust, but let him set the pace.

Answer 2

Have you ever heard Darryl Worley's song "I Just Came Back From a War"? You probably have to be into country music to be familiar with it.

The first thing I did
when that plane finally landed
was kiss the ground
The next thing I did
was go find my friends
down at the old hangout
We drank some beer and talked a lot about old times
But when the booze finally hit Billy Joe Grimes
he said 'I don't know what it is
but you seem different to me.'

I said I just came back
From a place where they hated me
And everything I stand for
A land where our brothers
Are dying for others
Who don't even care anymore
If I'm not exactly the same good old boy
That you ran around with before
I just came back from a war

The very next morning
I took a walk through the neighborhood
I thought it's been so long
since I've been in a place
where everything is good
People laughing and children were playing
And as I watched them
I found myself prayin'
Lord, keep 'em safe here at home
In the land of the free

Cause I just came back
From a place where they hated me
And everything I stand for
A land where our brothers
Are dying for others
Who don't even care anymore
If I'm not the same little freckled-faced boy
That grew up in that house next door
I just came back from a war

I hope you cherish
this sweet way of life
And I hope you know
that it comes with a price
I said I just came back
From a place where they hated me
And everything I stand for
A land where our brothers
Are dying for others
Who don't even care anymore
Chances are I never will be the same anymore
I really don't know anymore
I just came back from a war

I just came back from a war
You don't know me
You don't know me
I just came back from a war

Answer 3

Hes going to be kind of weird when he first comes back. Well, I dont know about now, (Iraq has gotten better since last year, despite what you see from the media) but my ex-girlfriends brother came back from Iraq and was nervous all the time. He was always kind of twitchy for the first couple weeks, and couldnt drive a car. Hed spazz out everytime a car went past us in the lane next to us.

He'll be fine after a little bit, but just let him relax; treat him well.

Answer 4

When I came back from Vietnam, it was hard for me to stay focussed on any one thing, I was very restless.
It took a while, so you need to be patient and understanding.

Oh, the first few months, I woke up often not knowing where I was immediately, that is frightening.

Additional Info:
You said you were just a friend: Then one of the things I missed the most after coming back was American women. Make sure you don't let him get too crazy, if you know what I mean.

Answer 5

As normal a homecoming as can be arranged. Do what you would do for any big celebration. The last thing I would want is for people to hover around me like I was an alien. The day after the big event in most cases may be used to recover from the jet lag or sudden drop in adrenaline that keeps you up and on your guard 99% of the time. A returning vet may want to chill for a day or so. Best to ask him what he would like to do after the main shindig is over. Adjusting is a big thing and everybody does it in their own way. Let him or her decide on some of the next round of going to the homes of relatives etc. Sleeping a little late is a luxury. (Like sleeping in till 7am) At the same time watch for signs of withdraw and avoidance. Make sure they don't want to just hibernate for a week and avoid people. If you suspect things like that make sure you politely bring it up to his unit or another friend VET of his that can get him in to the VA for a checkup. Most people don't need this so don't jump to conclusions. Bottom line is be normal. Have fun and be aware of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder signs.

Answer 6

Yes treat them the same. The war does change people I saw my best friend change significantly and she spent a year there. The one thing she said was that she didn't want to talk about the things she had seen because she didn't want me to pity her and feel bad for her. Listen when he wants to talk and talk when he needs reassurance that you will be there no matter how much he's changed.

Answer 7

Get hold of his folks and tell them about this site. There is a block on the left hand side that says CONTACT US. They would be more than happy, AND honored, to help welcome your U.S. Marine home.
Our local group is meeting a U.S. Marine at the local airport Sunday and giving him a BIG welcome home and escorting him over 20 miles to his house. The last welcome home we did had ove 50 bikers, vets and non-vets.
Check out some photos that are on that site and you'll see what they are all about.
(USN, retired/proud Patriot Guard Rider)

Answer 8

Treat him normally but he will act differently. Expect he will want to be left alone sometimes and might be "twitchy." I was and my wife was. Cook him lots of comfort food; let him be who he is and make sure he talks when he wants to.

Don't rush him either. He will want to sleep for days because of the stress of the job having been lifted. Let him lounge around for awhile but make sure he works out just the same.

Answer 9

My nephew came back from Iraq and then went back again..

Being your normal, loving self will help him readjust to non-combat life again....

And Please...

Thank him for me!