Old people's sayings.?

Question

I was talking about my dearly missed Grandma tonight and about the funny things she used to come out with, her sayings if you like.
The funniest I remember was when she would talk about her love of my long hair and how it would (and I quote) 'shine like s**t on a barn door!' What funny things do/did your grandparents/parents come out with ?

Wow, my grandma used to say some of these sayings too. It's nice to remember don't you think?, keep them coming. Another one 'I'll bray your a**e with a shovel'

Answer 1

you gotta ask yourself a question, do I feel lucky? Well do ya, punk!!!

Answer 2

those are a number of my fav expenditures. savour!!! “The end line is the starting up of a clean race.” –unknown “we are each human beings angels with in undemanding words one wing, and we are able to in undemanding words fly by ability of embracing one yet another.” –Luciano de Crescenzo “The courageous may not in any respect stay perpetually, in spite of the undeniable fact that the careful not in any respect stay.” –unknown “once you want me, yet do no longer want me, then i need to stay. once you want me, yet now no longer favor me, then I even ought to bypass.” – the movie Nanny McPhee “Marriage has 3 earrings: Engagement ring, wedding ceremony ring and suffering.” –unknown “there is not any love sincerer than the affection for foodstuff.” –G.B. Shaw “the conception of words and compassion are a more beneficial useful way even even if that's slower than a gun.” -the movie The Interpreter “Tears are words the middle won't be able to exhibit” -nameless “i know God received't provide me some thing i visit't deal with. I basically desire that He did not have self assurance me a lot.” - mom Teresa “i'd particularly remorseful about the flaws that I actually have finished than the flaws that I actually have not.” -Lucille Ball

Answer 3

You should start by not wanting to get pregnant, just have sex everyday or every other day and don't think about getting pregnant, just have fun with your partner. Get more useful information and guides to get pregnant here https://tr.im/9Yh4b
after sex-put a pillow under your butt or prop your feet up on the wall so your pelvis is tilted
eat healthy
back off caffiene
workout, even if its just a 20 minute walk a day, be active.

Answer 4

Everyone in our family laughs about this all the time. A couple of years ago my husband got a H2 (Hummer) Our 86 year old grandma just fell in love with the vehicle primarily I think because she doesn't get out much and had not seen one before.After my husband took her for a joy ride she came home and called her Sunday School friends explaining this strange looking vehicle referring to it as a HUM-PER.Two years later and no one has corrected her on this simply because we get a good laugh out of it.
THATS OUR GRANDMA!!!!!!! :)

Answer 5

When they were going out but didnt want the grandkids to know where, they would say I'm off to see a man about a dog, Pig dealer and donkey buyer.

Grandpa-Whan it was raining hard-"sounds like a cow pissing on a flat rock" my mum used to give him the evil eye cos he said the P word lol...happy days

Answer 6

oh man....My grandmother use to pop me an say "thats for when you do something" needless to say I miss that saying...

My other grandma use to tell me too get a sandwich bag pack a nickel some crackers an some fruit cause if I ever got lost I could call home and would have something to eat...

Thanks for the memory!

Answer 7

When my male cousin started dating--Keep the horse in the barn or at least put a saddle on it before you take it for a ride.
When she was 97 & someone told her she looked very pretty--It washes off.
Get in or get out, but you better shut that door either way.
Oh, Jesus, take me now before I have to explain to you why I done killed this child.
Get out of here girl before you make Jesus not let me in.

Answer 8

me and grandma were riding in this small car and she said this out of nowhere ever time we hit a bump it hit my rump.
You can teach old new tricks but you d**m sure can't teach a dumb one .
Her and my aunt got into one day and she like a religious fanatic and she said im saved sanctified and filled with the holy ghost and my grandma turned around and said if you don't get out my face your a** gone be crucified

Answer 9

i'm 41 and I remember staying the night with my grandma and my brother and sister to and at night when it was time to go to bed of course we would cut up and laugh and play around to the point of my g/ma comin in and saying "Now,hun its gettin late and if I have to come in here again ,it's katie bar the door!!!" We used to laugh at that all the time and to this day I still say that to my kids{and they laugh too} They ask what the heck does that mean!!!

Answer 10

NEW SHOES I used to walk barefoot in ten feet of snow both ways from home and back to school again , let me tell you there was no such word as new!we used no new anything I grew up in the depression and we were lucky to have heat and something to eat honey child!!

Answer 11

My Dad was practically raised by his oldest sister (HUGE age difference between them and his mother was ill) and she became sort of the surrogate grandmother to all of his kids.

She used to tell us when we were getting short changed on something:
'You are so far down on the pig, you get to suck the butthole."

when somebody did something really stupid, she'd say
'well, that sure shows you don't know sh*t from shine-o-la'

When other people did things that were "off color" or really dirty in front of little children, she would say:
"you can dress up a pig, but you can't make him dance"

gee...now I'm gonna call her! thanks!