Forgiveness for a repentant man who used to beat his wife?

Question

Do you think you could personally forgive, and perhaps even be friends with, a man who used to beat his wife doesn't anymore?

Thank you Obsolete and bless you! :)

Answer 1

And what assurances do you have that the man is not beating his wife? Or his kids? Or his dog?

In my experience, people who are taught violence as a means of expression of anger usually continue with that. The anger and the violence are reenforcing behaviors. They get a rush from it.

Stay away from such people, especially if they drink alcohol.

Answer 2

Forgive him?

If a man beats his wife, regarless of whether he is repentant or not, it takes the bigger person to forgive him. Note, forgiveness does not mean acceptance or condoning behavior. On the Cross, Jesus said "forgive them Father, they know not what they do."

All of us are sinners, and most of us "know not what we do" to the full extent of the sin. If a man beats his wife, at the time, does he really know how horrible a person he is beating. If he realized it, he would understand that he is abusing himself far more than his wife.

So, that said, if a man has become truly repentant for what he has done, then there is no need to chastise him further... he has already been punished. By forgiving sin, we forget the sin.

Our failures don't just dissapear overnight. One can easily fall back into bad habits and traps. The man probably should be getting intense counceling for himself and for a long time, and if his wife as well, seperately for their individual needs and probably from both a pastor and therapist. If they decide to remain together, then they would also need marital counceling.

Befriend him?

Why not? We all sin. We all need help. He may not have ever had a "real" friend before in his life. Don't forget that most abusers were abused themselves. All the more reason they need a true friend that will help them and not judge them.

Answer 3

Just a word on judging too quickly or judging at all.
There was a man in my part of my State who had an EPO taken for him by his Ex wife and everyone thought he had beat her because that was what she said but, It was the other way around, the poor man never laid a hand on her, she beat on him all the time and finally the truth came out and every one knew the truth. If I knew for sure that a man or a woman beat on the other I would not think it was right but, if they have been forgiven by the other and by God then I for sure would not try and judge.

Answer 4

>>Do you think you could personally forgive, and perhaps even be friends with, a man who used to beat his wife doesn't anymore?<<

Absolutely, especially considering I've done something worse.

Answer 5

It depends on the manner. whether he did it for fun like for no real reason and all the time, or/ only when he drinks and something upsets him and he gets overly wound up.if that is the case, he must have undelying phycological problems in which he does not know how to cope. empathy and forgiveness can and obviously has changed him if it no longer happens.maybe they got help.we all do things to hurt others in one way or another....

Answer 6

it is not my job to judge ill be friends with someone regardless of there past transgressions a after all its not them then thats important its them now that is the person you see and if the him now has truly repented for what hes done then he is not the same person he used to be if you get what im sayin

Answer 7

That would be hard if I were relying on my own "ability", but I would have to count on Jesus to stand in the gap and change me so that I would be able by Him to do so.
Part of it is I am sure that we ought to see the reformation as God does and not the condemnation as the enemy would like.

Answer 8

Actually, I have a friend like that. He isn't that man anymore.
Also, he doesn't drink anymore. Hasn't in 20 years

Answer 9

I'd be angry and cautious, but that is mostly between him and his wife. It is not up to me to forgive him, and I may never be able to be his friend either.

Just because he doesn't beat his wife does not make him a good person.

Answer 10

Hello The Last… :)

Yes..I did, my ex-husband used to beat me and then he cheated on me..He eventually left me for his first girlfriend..

I hold no grudges..we are now friends..

Being angry at someone does not cause them any strife in their lives..but it does and can take a toll out of yours..


In Jesus Most Precious Name..
With Love..In Christ.. :)