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my friend ex- USED to beat her, so they broke up, n she moved away. Now he found her n told her he change n he loves her!- shes beliving him! n i dunno wat to do, pleas help!
n dont say, tell a police or somthing like that!

2007-03-16 11:59:16 · 27 answers · asked by naaaty! 2 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

27 answers

Cheesie you are a butt-munch. Just wanted that to be said. Now as for you Natalia....you care about your friend so don't worry about anyone calling you nosey. Knock some sense into her head. Or try to. If she doens't listen then the only thing you really can do is let her do what she's so determined to do and let her find out the hard way. Sometimes experience is the best teacher.

2007-03-16 12:04:40 · answer #1 · answered by Just get it over with already!! 4 · 0 0

i think you should sit your friend down, even if it's over the phone, and have a nice long talk with her. Remind her that you are only there to support her, but you have some things you need to get off your chest. Remind her, in a calm and non-argumentative way of all of the hurt and heartache this ex has caused her. Hopefully you guys can make a connection, and she will realize that getting back with this guy would be a mistake. Make sure not to insult her, or the ex for that matter, especially if you talk over the phone, you do not want her mad at you, and choosing sides. Sometimes 'love' can blind people; you just have to be patient with her...

2007-03-16 19:07:29 · answer #2 · answered by y_the.hell_not 2 · 0 0

Tell her she needs to get out, he can't change without intervention. Someone who is abusive cannot change on his own without therapy or some sort of program. You can't make the decision for her, but let her know that you feel he's dangerous and that she runs the risk of getting beaten again if she takes him back.
You should tell her that you will be there for her if she needs you, if things get out of hand, the police should be notified and a report should be taken. She should also look into getting a restraining order against him. Just be ready to help her if she needs you and let her know her options. It's really difficult to convince someone who is in the situation that she is in right now to leave and get out.

2007-03-16 19:05:55 · answer #3 · answered by Kaylin 2 · 0 0

i know this hurts but sadly you won't be able to convince her to say no. Maybe you can keep an eye on him a little bit but that's about it. She'll have to make that desicion on her own and all you can do is pick up the pieces. Don't tell the anyone just yet because you never know, he could've changed. Let her make her own mistakes and learn from them and if it happens again comfort her and then tell someone. No one should be allowed to get away with that.

2007-03-16 19:07:41 · answer #4 · answered by Do You Feel 3 · 0 0

Tell your friend that you are concerned for her safety, and that you want to know how she will protect herself from making the same mistake again. Offer to be her safety net - make her promise that she will tell you if he ever gets physically aggressive towards her again in any way, and you will be the "tough love" to convince her to leave him, and you will help her call the cops on him.

You can't force her to see he's bad news if she's blinded by love, but you can be there for her and help her escape when things get bad again.

If you have any strong brothers or guy friends, tell them your concerns, and ask them to let the guy know that they will there to protect her if he crosses the line again. This will let him know that he is being watched, and this girl is protected by people who love her and won't let her be abused again. If he DOES hurt her again, then you have no choice but to call the cops on him.

2007-03-16 19:07:39 · answer #5 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0 0

Well what you need to tell your friend is to remmeber what he used to do to her. And tell her it's just liek a cheater once you do it and can get away with it he will do it again. ANd she will forgive him everytime because if he doesn't have too much pressure at work, or he was drunk, or he's just got too much stress and it's her fault she will believe it. Tell her does she remmebr the beatiungs she took and if she does what she going to do when he starts again. It might not be now but later it will start again.

2007-03-16 19:04:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

If she stupid(as I except) she will take him back. Men can't change and cowardly *** holes can't just stop being cowardly *** holes. One thing women do not do alot of is think with their brains but rather with their emotional insecurities. At the end of the day it's really up to her and you have to respect her choice. Warn her but if he does it again call the police on her behalf. If the cops don't do something render justice with a few of your guy friends.

2007-03-16 19:05:24 · answer #7 · answered by daboss 4 · 0 0

You need to tell her don't do it, he's gonna beat her up again, and again, and again. It's gonna get worse..trust me, and the police can't do a thing about it if she doesn't press charges anyway. She needs a wake up call, and hopefully she doesn't have kids that saw him beat her up. She has to know that their are better men out there for her. Tell her don't settle, or she'll end up dead, or handicapped.

2007-03-16 19:03:46 · answer #8 · answered by ladyrapture1 3 · 0 0

This battle is not yours, she needs help to stay out of a bad relationship that only a pro can give, so stay out of the battle zone to avoid the toxic cross fire, just be her friend if she ask make suggestions for consoling for co-dependence

2007-03-16 19:06:34 · answer #9 · answered by Tennessee Mom 4 · 0 0

Tell her straight up that people like that do NOT change, and keep her away from him. If she continues to want to see him, plead with her to reconsider, then let her learn the hard way if she continues to insist.

2007-03-16 20:34:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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