ADVICE?? Parents or anyone please HELP!?

Question

my daughter (almost 3) ALWAYS screams bloody murder when she has to go to her dad's house "Mommy please don't leave me" and so forth. And I have always felt horrible about it. last time she came back she told me that daddy told her to " touch his boy part" I immediatly took action of course. She said it in front of witnesses including a police officer & gave details. But when they interviewed her they put her in a room with a stranger and naturally she didnt tell her anything. So now they are telling me that because she didnt say it on tape that they are dropping the case and if I don't take her back that I'll be in contempt of court. If I go to jail she will be taken to his house. But I CAN'T TAKE HER BACK THERE! She has no reason to make that up. And I cannot take my baby to someone that is going to ...GGRRR Please help me what do I do Is there anything I can do to help my baby girl I wan to go to his house and commit a felony but I have 2 kids to think about.HELP This is my baby!

For one I'm not planning on taking her back OBVIOUSLY! I'm already talking to everyone I can think of video or audio tapes that I do wont count it has to be professional and every lawyer I have talked to want A LOT of money to even start and I have no place to get it BELIEVE ME I'M TRYING. I'm doing everything I know to do. What I'm saying is that when he gets pissed because I wont let her go and I get arrested what happens to my babies? Police wont touch it because DFS dropped it and DFS said that because she didnt say it to a pro while on tape that they are done with it and to wait for a pattern and they'll talk to her again. I DON'T WANT A PATTERN Seriously are these people stupid? What kind of mother would I be to put her in that situation?

I have asked and she has told me several times and the details NEVER change. I even tried asking innoncent questions to see if it was an accident but she insists that he told her to do it and her story is always the same to every detail like I said she has no reason to make it up and even if she did her story wouldnt be consistent. and any witnesses I have are considered "here say" and I can't get supervised visitation without " valueble proof" Trust me I have called everybody. Just wanted to let you know I know what I'm doing like I said I HAVE NO INTENTION OF TAKING HER BACK I'm just saying that legally these people are STUPID and telling me I'll get in trouble for protecting my child. If I could I would have the BEST LAWYER RIGHT NOW! Thanks in advance for all your help I'm so stressed and paranoid right now just the thought makes me wanna go homocidle (I know its not spelled right)

Answer 1

If she stated it in front of the police, then there will be a statement. The statement is submisable in court and the judge can take it into account. Keep trying and do what you have to do. You are her only advocate. Make sure he knows that she told on him so he knows she might tell on him if something else happens. Threaten him...If the judge thinks your witness statements are hear-say, then they will think the same of him if he trys to tell on you for threatening him...there will be no proof.

Answer 2

First of all I want to say I am so sorry that you are having to go through this, especially when it seems that you are doing it alone. That man needs to be put behind bars. I would explain to your daughter that it is very important that she tell the authorities what happened. The system isn't fair when it comes to situations like this. They take the kids and make them uncomfortable and won't let the parents in with the child because they say that they will coach them. It makes me so mad that people like him are getting away with stuff like that everyday. She is still a baby and only a sick perverted person would be able to do that. If I were you I would try and try again until somebody stepped up to help. SOMEBODY has to have a heart. I would also comfront the father. Let him know what you have been told. See how he reacts. Keep on pursuing this and you will find someone who will help you. You and your family will be in my every prayer. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 3

Have some one else that witnessed your child saying this call protective services in the county in which the father lives. The officer would be the best one if you could get him to testify

Take your child to a doctor tell them you have reason to believe your child has been abused.

Contact Mental Health and see about setting up some counseling for the child. Counselors often tape all their sessions.

Petition the court for approval to move out of state do to a job opportunity. you have to get permission or you can be charged and forced back.

If you interfere in visitation you could lose custody of her.
You really are in one heck of a spot.

Do you have to transport her to her father's house? I mean court orderd?
If not don't and don't encourage her to go with him either let her scream yell hollar what ever hopefully he wont want deal with it himself.

Try to get her out of state that away you have time to build up some real evidence against him before you have to turn her over for a visit.

Make a complaint with the friend of the court asking them for their help that away they have some thing in writing. he will also get a copy of the letter. This will let him know that people are aware maybe the freak will haul butt hopefully.

Call lawyers offices and ask if they do probono which means pick up cases for free. a lot of them do it.

contact abused and exploited children centers they have a lot of services available to help with these types of situations

Good luck I will pray for you and your little girl

Answer 4

Do you have any friends or family that he does not know about? Take heed in everyone's suggestions. If the process begins to take too long and if the authorities come for you for denying visitation, send your daughter to that friend or family member so she will be safe(AND DO NOT TELL ANYONE WHERE SHE IS!!!!!). If you get in trouble, who do you think they are going to send her to? No doubt her scuz-bucket dad. This happened to a friend of my mom's. Her daughter was being abused by her own father and the courts and authorities did nothing because the sleaze had money. My mother was the only friend she had that he did not know about and that is where her daughter stayed to keep him from knowing about her (friend even spent a few nights in jail for not telling police where child was when he finally got his "unsupervised visits"). It took YEARS before anyone took the allegations seriously. He finally got denied all rights and mom and daughter lived in an undisclosed location. But make sure there is someone you can take your child to in case something happens.

Answer 5

i do agree with the others. you should not leave her there no matter what. and if you choose to talk to her in detail do it in front of other people that you and her both are comfortable with. you should also have an officer that you trust sit in while you are doing it so that they cant say that she was coersed. as far as wether or not you have to send her to his house or go to jail i would like to know what state you are in cause most will take it to court and have you explain what is going on before they resort to that. do not let her down by sending her back no matter what the cops told you find a lawyer that can issue an altercation to the original papers and quickly.

Answer 6

Talk to her about it and explain how serious it is. Ask her exactly (IN DETAIL) what happens when she's over there. Go over there and take her with you since it sounds like you have to BUT (before I get bad remarks) DON'T LEAVE HER THERE ALONE! stay there with her. Then take her back to the cops and have them tape record it immediately in front of them and everything. She may be embarassed and may not understand what's going on or may not want her daddy to get in trouble. I hope this helps and if not. Go to someone who WILL do something (not just the cops) Please don't leave her there though. Be careful and good luck!

Answer 7

I don't know anything about this but it has always been a fear of mine. I think you have to be pushy here. There must be some support groups that could get involved and tell you the best way to work the system. There would be other women who have dealt with the same thing. Other than that I'm speechless, so sorry for you and your little one.

Answer 8

I think you should take your daughter to a child specialist. Maybe they can assist you in taking her to get it on tape. They know how to deal with children and they might allow the doctor to be in there with the girl to assit her in making the confession. She is probably very confused right now anyway and talking to someone may be a good idea for her as well.

Answer 9

They actually took a 3 year old in to a room with a stranger...nice. Set up an appointment with a child psychologist IMMEDIATELY! Refuse unsupervised visitations and file a petition with the court to cover your butt to have supervised visitations until this is resolved. Also, why don't you try to get it on video.

Answer 10

firstly, the more you egg it on around your daughter the more she thinks that will get her attention. so watch your step.

second, i know of and lived a situation similar to that. and what happened was the "pro" asked the 3 1/2 year old girl and it was all formal questions. she didnt understand a word they said to her. so, the "pro" was explained to say it simple terms like"sweetie do you have boo boos?" "where do you have boo boos" how did you get the boo boos?" "who gave you the boo boos?" etc...

so finally the girl talked and answered simply because that was all she comprehend at that age. and it was in a closed room with only her and the "pro" so now the mother isnt apperead as over-reactive and more as a mom that knew her baby.

good luck to you. and your babies.