my four year old daughter wont listen!!! help me?

Question

we take away privileges, we try to put her in the corner, early bed time. nothing works she wont stay in the corner. she wont listen when we tell her ANYTHING. we try to just talk to her. weve tried everything. someone please help!

Answer 1

Don't jump too quick on the adhd thing. 2 out 5 children are misdiagnosed with adhd and there are brain scans now that can be done to conlcude 100% that it is indeed adhd. The problem with time out is you have to keep putting them back until they stay and sometimes that can take all day...honestly who has time for that. In your case because I don't think spanking is necassary, Turn off everything that is entertaining. Lock all the toys in a room, and go about your business cleaning the house or whatever you do but ignore the behavior..this may take hours, and she will probably scream, call you names the lot but don't give in ignore her until she breaks and she will come to you. If you can get that to happen tellher why you wouldn't talk to her and that you only enjoy talking to her when she is nice to you. Kids are so influential they mimick all of our behaviours. My children do I lose it sometimes and catch myself yelling...and th before you know it my daughter is telling me she'll bust my butt. We have to just watch very carefully, especially at her age, what we do and say in front of them because they absorb it all. The best thing to do is set a good example..talk to everyone in front of her the way you want her to talk to you and treat you and she will pick up on it. Lots of hugs for doing stuff right doesn't hurt either.

To all the spare the rod people....You aren't influencing dicipline you're influencing fear and I for one don't want my child to be afraid of me...that's where are the teenage problems come from, because they are to scared to come to you.

Answer 2

From your description, it Sounds like you're trying very hard. Consistency is of Primary importance in every endeavor you've mentioned, as are patience & remaining calm. The following articles have a lot of information ... perhaps you can find what you need in them:

A Child's Early Years--What Should Parents Do?:
~ How Important is Early Child Training?
~ The Importance of Nurturing your Child
~ Your Role as a Parent
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2004/10/22a/article_01.htm

Giving Children the Attention They Need
- Training Without Irritating
- Give Them Your Time
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2005/2/8a/article_01.htm

The Challenge of Child Training Today
- Can the Bible Help You Train Your Children?
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/2004/6/15/article_01.htm

HELP Your Children to Thrive! :
~ Harsh Words, Crushed Spirits
~ Parents Under Pressure
~ Help Your Children to Thrive
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/1997/8/8/article_01.htm

Has she been thoroughly tested for problems, such as ...

Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (?)
http://www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fetal_Alcohol_Spectrum_Disorder

There are links to more info at the bottom of that page, some are to info about similar problems. A very good FASD Web site is Teresa Kellerman's, @ www.come-over.to/FASCRC/

Help for Children With Learning Disabilities :
- Living With a Learning Disability
- "Sit Still and Pay Attention!"
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/1997/2/22/article_01.htm

Advanced On-site Search
(In case a link on that Web site becomes modified, this can be used.) http://watchtower.org/search/search_e.htm

Answer 3

4 is very old to nevertheless be having a snooze, what time does she pass to mattress at nighttime? perhaps she has only grown out of it? As she is dazzling you need to attempt explaining that now she is a good sized woman she would not ought to pass to sleep yet she will have quiet time rather. Have a definite field of quiet time activities and permit her to choose on a million daily. this could be some thing like books, tale CD, jigsaw puzzle or some colouring however the substantial situation is they're purely for quiet time. she will have them in in spite of room you come to a decision as long as she sits or lays down quietly. She may even pass to sleep using fact it fairly is now no longer a conflict and she or he's on top of issues.

Answer 4

Praising the children always in front of others will help in raising a child i also have 6yrs old child ,i had a tough time too with her , try asking her to help u in ur work by picking things, etc slowly slowly she will change but never beat a child

Answer 5

Explain to her beforehand what will happen if she disobeys. Get down on her level and talk to her in a kind manner. Don't yell; don't call her names.
When she disobeys, take her for a 4 minute time-out. If she gets up, put her back until she stays there 4 minutes. At that time, she should apologize to you. If it takes 30 minutes of putting her back, keep doing it. You must be consistent.

Answer 6

When she asks for something ask her why you should give it to her when she didn't listen to you or whatever she did to misbehave or "why should I do what you want when you can't give me what I want." "All I ask is for you to help me out by listening and doing what i ask of you." Tell her life is a 2 way street you do for me and I will do for you. You'll also be teaching her a very good value she can carry with her throughout life, Compromise. If not, just give her a few swats on the booty.

Answer 7

I remember with my kids 4 being a bit of an arrogant age, but if your trying everything and it's not getting results then I would really suggest looking at her diet. If she's eating a lot of sugary foods/drinks or highly processed foods it can really affect a child's behavior. Good luck.

Answer 8

Oppositional defiant disorder

Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) is a childhood behavioural problem characterised by constant disobedience and hostility. Around one in 10 children under the age of 12 years are thought to have ODD, with boys outnumbering girls by two to one. ODD is one of a group of behavioural disorders known collectively as disruptive behaviour disorders which include conduct disorder (CD) and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Early intervention and treatment is important, since children with untreated ODD may continue to be difficult and anti-social into their adult years. This can impact on their relationships, career prospects and quality of life. Some children with ODD will develop the more serious conduct disorder (CD) which is characterised by aggressive criminal and violent behaviours.
Characteristics of ODD

ODD behaviours usually surface when the child is at primary school but the disorder can be found in children as young as three years of age. Some of the behaviours of a child with ODD may include:

* Is easily angered, annoyed or irritated
* Has Frequent temper tantrums
* Argues frequently with adults, particularly the most familiar adults in their lives, such as parents
* Refuses to obey rules
* Seems to deliberately try to annoy or aggravate others
* Has low self esteem
* Has low frustration threshold
* Seeks to blame others for any misfortunes and misdeeds.

My now 20-year old daughter was diagnosed at age 5 with ODD and ADHD... and my now 10-year old son is exhibiting the same symptoms. If I say the sky is blue, he'll cluck at me in 'annoyance' and say "NOOOOOOOOO! It's SKY blue!" - anything to push my buttons!

Answer 9

Spare the rod, Spoil the child. I wish parents would learn how to raise kids these days. Try an old fashioned butt-whipping. Stop trying to be friends with your kid and try to instill some discipline in your childs life for once. Maybe some of these kids would learn that they can't just do what they want. That way society would stop labeling kids as A.D.D or A.D.H.D Instead people might just say "That's a really well-mannered kid". Try taking some responsibility for raising your child properly!!!!

Answer 10

yeah, smack her around a couple of times on her butt. now we live in a society were any kind of physcial punishment is seen as child abuse and that is simply not true. giving your kid a time-out just won't cut it anymore. you have to stick to the tried and true method. I was a wild child in my days and I would always listen to my mother because i knew that If i disrespected her, I would get a spanking.