Should I say this to the girl I miss?

Question

Hey. How are you? You know, ever since we stopped talking, (we haven't talked for 10 months) I had been going over everything in my head, trying to figure out what I was doing wrong. You know, I still remember what you said to me the last time we talked, the things you were mad at me about. It was because of you that I started working on those things. I know you probably still don't want to talk to me. It's just that a special girl like you is hard to find, you're unlike any friend I've ever had. No other girl is as amazing, wonderful, smart, talented, funny, and beautiful as you. No one else has your light brown eyes that sparkle when you're happy and fade away when you're sad, or your bright smile. There was a time when I was feeling down that you could tell something was wrong because you know me. I'm the same way about you. I know you think I don't know you, and I know I don't know everything about you, but I want to know everything about you. I really care about you and like I

said, you're special to me. I'm tired of playing silly games around you, trying to act like you're not when you really are. Without you, I just had to admit that I must be really stupid for not understanding then what you were trying to tell me, that it wasn't anything wrong with me that you didn't like, it was you just didn't share those feelings for me that I had for you.
I've found out for myself it was better when you didn't like me in that way. Now that you don't like me at all, it's alot worse. For the things I've done, I'm really sorry. I was just afraid of losing you, so I did. I only want us to start over, pretend this whole thing never happened and if necessary forget that there was any mention of romantic interest between us. I know with you I don't have a chance. I just want your friendship back, if it's ok with you. (END) (continues If sent in a letter) If writing this to you makes how you feel about me worse, then if you'd like to, just forget that I wrote it.

If what you want is to never see me or speak to me again, I will just try to let you go just because I only want to make you happy. (END) I just want to know what should I do for her birthday or if I should pretend I forgot, but I really don't want to play anymore silly games like I don't care about her because I'm tired of them. What should I change? Is it too long? Should I take out the part where I say "I remember" to sound less obsessive?
You can stop here, but below is the situation.

The reason I liked her in the first place is because online she said she liked me after two weeks of us talking, then I was excited because I felt good that someone finally liked me. I asked her how she felt about me the next day, then she said she didn't really know, she had too many boys in her life and didn't know how to handle it. After a month she told me she didn't liked me but I still liked her. So I kept talking to her hoping she would eventually change her mind and give me a chance. After a while I noticed she was everything I've looked for in a girl and I fell in love with her. After 4 months of us talking she told me she was falling in love with someone else, whom she gave a chance and not me, and that a couple of her friends were falling in love too. I implied to her that I was falling in love with her and she kept asking me who. Then she asked if it was with her, but I felt I shouldn't say so online so I changed the subject and found out we were unknowingly both watching

the same tv movie. We were going to be somewhere and there I would tell her. I panicked and told a friend what she said. I was afraid of her liking someone else besides me. I left out the names of her friends when I told him. He figured out who and teased her friends about falling in love, so the girl I love got mad at me and wouldn't talk to me. At the time I didn't know better to not say anything at all that we talked about. After I gave her space for two months, we had a small conversation until her bus came and I asked her if she was still mad at me. She told me no, she just didn't want to talk to me anymore. So I haven't tried to talk to her but when I say hi to her sometimes she says hi back, and once we did have a very short conversation. I wonder if maybe she cut me off because she doesn't want to get hurt in case I'm too good to be true. Boys have dated her friends and told them they loved them, had sex with them (she's the only virgin with her friends) and dumped them.

I turned 17 a month ago, she turns 17 in two weeks

Answer 1

DUDE, you need to tone it down because you sound like a little b i t c h!

Don't say It's all because of you that I started working on those things, say, "I've really grown and worked on things to improve my life." Don't say it was all because of HER. SHE CANNOT BE THE SUBSTANCE OF YOUR LIFE.

DON'T SAY, "I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK TO ME." YOU DON'T WANT TO START A PITY PARTY DUDE. BE A MAN

GET RID OF ALL THE TALENTED, AMAZING, WONDERFUL CRAP. JUST KEEP IT SIMPLE. TELL HER THAT A SPECIAL GIRL LIKE HER IS HARD TO FIND. THAT'S PERFECT!

Tell her this: you know me better than anyone else, and I'm grateful to have a friend like you. DO NOT SAY: "I know you think I don't know you." Just say: I know that we had our ups and downs, and I would really like to work on things and get to know you again. I think there is a lot that we can learn about one another.

So, here is the revised letter:

Hey. How are you? You know, ever since we stopped talking, (we haven't talked for 10 months) I realized how much I missed you. You know, I still remember what you said to me the last time we talked, the things you were mad at me about. I've really grown and worked on things to improve my life. I'll understand if you still think you made the best decision by breaking up with me, but I know that a special girl like you is hard to find. I'm grateful that you know me better than anyone else. I know that we had our ups and downs, and I would really like to work on things and get to know you again. I think there is a lot that we can learn about one another. I will respect whatever decision you make. Take care.
DUDE, DON'T PITY YOURSELF IN THE LETTER. PROJECT CONFIDENCE. BELIEVE ME, I MADE THE SAME MISTAKES IN THE PAST!

Answer 2

Congradulations for expressing yourself!! All your hidden emotions were revealed in this letter/casual talking/note.With the time and effort you took to write this, it shows "the earth's core is flowing out with the heartbeat of a volcano." Be proud and allow yourself some "drips of a waterfall". No matter what happens the truth is in the air.
you and her are good friends and may have a chance to step up your relationship. if she likes you back, congrats. if she doesn't then thats Ok cuz shes a good enough friend not to think the friendship is akward because of the note.

* in the end. hope you people remain friends forever. ...bf gf comes later.....

Answer 3

You act like more than friends and she is probably scared. You just want her back in your life but you cant turn off the feelings. Let her go before it becomes an obsession.

Answer 4

even though i aint read all of it....i think yes because what if she feels the same way too and sometimes we want for yall boys to come and tell us that because then we think that yall never even really cared about us...so yea go tell her its what you feel and she has 2 know b4 its 2 late!!!=)

Answer 5

Beautiful but only if you are being sincere. Obviously you hurt her already, so don't do it again.

Answer 6

srryyyyy but i didnt read the whole thing......cuz its toooooo long....& try to write a little shorter u dnt have 2 tell us everything jus get to the point....LOL...!!!!!!!

Answer 7

Go ahead. Nice speech... Hey, if you wanna fix things, try it.

Answer 8

You should!!!! i think she will talk to you after wat u wrote! it is very meaning full! hope everything works out!

Answer 9

you should say that, it is very meaningful