What's wrong with a guy expecting a girl to hold doors or give up her seat for him?

Question

This may sound like a strange question. But I know alot of people who do place alot of importance on a woman having an open mind to equal opportunity type actions such as these. I know that traditionally these things were man's responsibility to a woman but now that we are working for equality, what's wrong with women showing manners in that way. Would any women reading this do those things for a guy? Sure you would do it if your man was physically in pain or whatever but I don't mean it in that sense. Do you think guys should do it for girls? Do guys get credit for doing it or lose credit for not doing it? Why? Or do you think that it should not be expected more of one sex then the other? By the way anything with feminine or masculine is a little inappropriate because being feminine doesn't make you a woman and being masculine doesn't make you a man. Being the reverse surely doesn't make you any less of a man or a woman. So, go ahead. My attention is all yours.

I've read all of the answers. It's funny how needing to "feel good" and appreciated has become a "woman thing." Apparently that's what alot of the responses reply. That type of thinking is the exact reason why so many of those same women end up hurt when their bf gets tired of the games and finds another girls who he can impress with his chivalry "techniques." Hilarious.

Answer 1

I think it should all be equal... I open the doors for my dudes.. It just all depends who is walking in front, who gets there first.. Credit should be earned/lost through interaction.. It should not be expected from anyone by anyone.. No one is better than the other..... But, I'm one person and I was raised by men... I'm sure there's others like me..

Answer 2

I don't think there is anything wrong with a man opening a door for woman. Coversely, I have opened doors for men when I have reached the door first. Regardless of sex, I think this is just manners. In terms of giving up seats, I think it is polite and appropriate for a person of either sex to give up their seat to someone who needs extra assistance - such as someone elderly, disabled or has their hands full and standing would be difficult. I don't really expect a man to give up their seat for me, but since I don't ride public transportation much, the issue doesn't come up often. The one thing I wish tall men would do in crowded situations is to stand aside and let shorter women or children stand in front and be able see during events, or switch seats. I am a shorter woman and it never fails that I have some guy that is 6 foot something in front of me at some event and I can't see a darned thing. If switching seats with someone sitting next to them will resolve this problem and not cause a problem for someone else, I wish they'd do it.

From my standpoint, all this stuff boils down to good manners from both sexes.

Answer 3

My answer is different then the above answers. I would and do those things for my man. It isn't a law that states a man HAS to be that way. I think it is just out of respect for the person you are with. I don't mean do these all the time but we take turns. Sometimes I'll do it more often and other times he does them more. I personally don't care who opens the door for me and what not because I am very capable of opening my own door. I think it is just a nice gesture for the person you are with. There is no "controlling" in being polite and using manors. I pay for dinner at times and treat him to a total "him" night nd vice-versa. Using manors doesn't mean you are a p*ssy for a guy nor controlling. I do think that guys are meant to hold open doors and to treat a lady nicely but I think women can also do the same for guys.

Answer 4

I open doors for males & don't mind doing it. I do it for strangers too. But most men seem bothered by it & always usher me through first, so even if a female tries they don't accept the gesture anyways. That's probably why people are still stuck in the old ways. H/o, I do like it when guys open doors as well, but they don't lose credit for not doing so.

I think being self-sacrificing or polite shouldn't be a gender role....anyone should be able to do it w/o having to be labeled as a jerk, or butch, or feminine, & whatnot.

But actually it's wrong to "expect" somebody to do anything for you, everyone's different & setting standards is how you get disappointed.

Answer 5

Errrr.......girls to hold doors or give up seats for their guys...to find this kind of girls i would say 1 in a million?

Its not wrong but generally girls like guys to care for them and when a guy holds door/gives up seat somehow in social norm it shows it puts a girl in comfort(take for example a guy and a girl walking down a road with a horse and guy lets the girl sit on the horse for their journey on the road putting the girl on comfort while the man has to walk on his bare feet)

Guys don't get credit directly but the when guys do all these actions they would be considered gentlemen or such sort

Well guys should do these for girls and not vice versa because generally guys are possible more stronger and tolerant without comfort while girls just like to be pampered

Answer 6

It's the whole thing with chivalry.. guys should do that stuff to win girls over.. girls shouldn't have to win over guys.

Personally, guys do lose credit for not doing it, I used to not care, till I started hanging out with a guy who even opened my car doors and everything, then guys that didn't do it annoyed me because I believe I deserve to be treated like that.

Answer 7

If I was going in someplace first, I would never let a door slam on a man. I'll hold it open for him. That's just common respect.
I do like a man to be a gentleman. I adore all those little things that a gentleman does for a lady.
Guess I'm a bit old fashioned that way. :)

Answer 8

it IS important for a guy to do those things for girls. I dont really think guys realize how it makes them good if they do them, but it also looks really bad if they DON'T do them. Sure females are all about equality and whatnot (in the workplace especially) but when it comes to RELATIONSHIPS, there are certain things guys should do just because they are men. Just the way it is. We are girls and we need to be spoiled. Deal with it!

Answer 9

I don't believe in chivalry on anyone's part. I say, every man for himself — even if he happens to be a woman.

Answer 10

this is a very intreasting point u have made here. my father raised me to do the open door and pull out the chair and open the car door and all that stuff. so im going to continue to do so. if i had a woman that was so independant that she didnt like it i wouldnt do it. but i think i would feel wierd if the roles reversed.