note, has abused me, i am disabled due to sickness, she shops and takes her boyfriend out to eat at big name restaurants. Every since my divorced my children turned against me but not the culprit. I dont have the money to pay the latest charges $5 thousand - i dont know what to do - she and her sister deserves jail - but i feel ? they need to learn from these wrong choices they selected to do - but i have worked in the prison system and i dont want them subjected to the atmosphere/
2007-03-16 10:35:53 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Daughters are 24 and 20 yrs old, was married 24 yrs divorced 5 yrs, yes i whipped them, spanked them, even was raised in church for at least 14 yrs before ex went crazy, i was a single parent in a married home and now____ it hurts.
2007-03-16 15:37:36 · update #1
There are no winners in this situation. I doubt your daughter will go to jail if you report her, but you should do just that. Close your credit account and cut up the cards.Transfer your credit card balance to another carrier. Closing the account might lower your credit rating, but if you aren't planning any big purchases, this might not affect you. Ask for only one card and keep it secure. Discuss the entire situation with a reputable financial counselor. Also, talk to someone with the local legal aid society.
2007-03-16 13:42:30 · answer #1 · answered by greydoc6 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Turn it over to the credit card company. They will press charges for card fraud, and your daughter will probably have to recompensate the charges and may spend jail time. You want them to learn from their consequences, well that's the best thing for it. What can you do that would be more effective? Nothing. They broke the law. They need to pay the penalty.
You say you've worked the system. How many of those people wound up there because their parents never let them take the fall the first time? Instead, the parents enabled them to continue their criminal behaviors over and over, until it became a severe consequence. Take care of it now, before they rack up more charges.
It sounds to me that you are allowing yourself to be abused out of some misplaced martyr complex from the divorce. You feel guilty and they are raking it in from your guilt. You don't have to feel guilty, there is no reason to, and you don't have to pay anything to make it up to them.
2007-03-16 19:11:28 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have exactly 3 choices.
1. Put them in jail (probably the best one)
2. Lock her out of the house and never speak to her again until she shapes up.
3. Do nothing, and let her kill you one night in your sleep because you ran out of money for her to spend. (Dont even being to think im exaggerating because i am not.)
Your Daughter is a criminal under united states law and has already committed fraud and domestic violence and you HAVE to know she is using drugs on top of all this. You didnt mention it, but come on...you know she is because normal people dont do this stuff. Next step in her life is murder. So the question is...do you want her to go to jail for fraud where she'll get less than 1 year, or do you want her to go to jail for murder where she will spend her whole life there.
Your kids are not your friends, stop worrying what they will think about you and if they will hate you or not. Your job is to protect them and you did a terrible job so far. This is your LAST chance. Be a parent.
2007-03-16 18:10:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok first of all how old are these kids that we are talking about? second... first thing is first.. as soon as the car is fixed... sell it and use the money to pay off the car note... these children don't deserve a car.. call the credit card company and tell them that you did not make the charges on your card... cut them off... don't let them have more credit cards.... the insurance company will probably press charges but they will probably not go to jail but will just be held accountable for the money that they STOLE from you.... if you don't do this now you may never get the chance to fix their behavior.....
2007-03-16 20:56:51 · answer #4 · answered by stephaniedayton2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your daughter could do with spending some time in jail. Right now she's just taking advantage of you in the most horrible way - if those bills don't get paid it will be YOU who gets into trouble - she already know this, she just doesn't care about it. Call the police and report everything. She needs to learn to take responsibility for her own actions. Be strong. :-)
2007-03-16 18:21:53 · answer #5 · answered by Butterscotch 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They need a slap in the face. Jail is where they belong. They are clearly taking advantage of you. Time for some tough love I am afraid. I am sorry you are having such a hard time. If they do not learn now, they may never learn. Good luck.
FYI, Job corps do not work. They need jail and rehab...
2007-03-16 17:47:57 · answer #6 · answered by ShanaJ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How old are your kids? If they are over 18, just use "tough love" and kick them out of the house asap! If not... Maybe you should call the police... Even if thats not what you want for them, do you really have a choice? Maybe they won't learn until you take some serious action.
Good luck and God bless.
2007-03-16 17:43:42 · answer #7 · answered by katiejean0013 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to dispute the charges, first. Get a case number with the police, don't necessarily say you know it was your daughter. Technically, the charges a re fradulent, and you should not be held accountable.
Secondly, cancel all the cards, and hide the new ones better.
Third, if your daughter is 18, kick her out of the house. Tell her if she's going to steal from you and vandalize your property, then you will get a restraining order to protect yourself. Tell her you love her, and that if she won't listen to you, then you'll just have to love her from afar.
2007-03-16 17:42:47 · answer #8 · answered by Year of the Monkey 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
They are totally taking advantage of you! If they are old enough kick them out, so they get a taste of the real world. If you raised them correctly they will make the right choices when they are out there, but right now...they definitely are not making the right choices. If they are too young to go out you need to discipline them, if you need help then you better get on the horn and get some before they run you into an even bigger rut.
2007-03-16 17:42:10 · answer #9 · answered by caz 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I say get a lawyer and take them to court, they won't go to jail, but they will be required to pay what they have taken. Why is her insurance and car note in your name. I suggest you stop allowing them to take advantage of you. Dr. Phil always says you teach people how to treat you. You allow them to do this, so they continue. I know they are your children, but noone deserves this, and if they were not your children what would you do? I say call a lawyer right now.
2007-03-16 18:50:44 · answer #10 · answered by Barbara C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋