Why do I ignore my kids?

Question

This a question to those who have experienced this and got help.

I escape by playing on the computers, reading books, and watching T.V. WhenI try to be with my kids, I sometimes get overwhelm.

The funny thing is I homeschool them in the morning and I have no trouble being in the teaching mode, but when it comes to personal relationship mode, I want to escape.

Is there anyway I can do self-therapy to learn to enjoy being around my kids?

My behavior has nothing to do with homeschooling. It happened ever since they were born. I do have underlying problems, such as, being taken away by my parents and put in foster homes, devasting divorce, disappointing remarriage. Maybe I am trying to cope with my disappointments in my life. I only want to hear from those who experienced this please.

Answer 1

Maybe you should put them in a program where they can go to a class(like dance, sports, something like that, I don't actually mean school) so that you can have a little bit of time to yourself. I think that would help you a lot.

Do you have a yard they can play in? If you do, send them outside to play for a couple of hours so you can relax and have some "mommy" time. We all go a little stir crazy when we have to spend 24/7 with our kids.

After you put the kids to bed, try taking a long hot bath, reading a good book, and relaxing in front of the tv(or just go to bed if you want to) and that should help you feel more like a woman and a mommy, not just a mommy, and you'll probably be more receptive to spending time with your kids.

Do you belong to a homeschooling group? If not you might look up one in your area so that your kids can make new friends and they'll have someone to spend the night with sometimes.

I plan on homeschooling my kids because of the way the schools are run around here(ex. there's a boy in my sister's 6th grade class who keeps slapping a girl on her *** and calling her a whore and the principal said "boys will be boys") and I'll be looking up a homeschool group so that the kids can still make lots of friends and get the socialization of school with out the troublemakers disrupting the learning environment.

Another thought, do you take your kids on field trips? Trips to the zoo, the park, and local businesses to observe work could be a good bonding experience for you and your children!

Answer 2

Could it be that after homeschooling all morning you've just got nothing left to give as a parent? What would happen if you were your kids parent instead of their teacher? Why not send them off to a real school and let professional teachers deal with their education? Then you'll have the time and energy to be their parent, which is what they really need from you, anyway. Teachers come and teachers go but a kid's only got two parents. Sounds like you're short-changing yours....

Answer 3

I guess it's easier to teach and discipline than it is to just sit back and play...by the time we are adults, it is so much easier to keep doing the same things we did before we had children, and sort of expect to be able to sometimes have all our time as our own.

It's time to maybe cut off the electricity for a little while, get your coats on and go for a walk together. Is it that you don't quite know what to do with them? It's easier to spend time with them when you have a lesson plan, you can't make mistakes there, can you? But playing leads to opening yourself up, having fun and being vulnerable...something adults often lose the skills for.
So follow your children's leads.
They will more than likely direct the play, just keep up. Do what they want to do. Don't let feelings of insecurity drive you back to the TV or computer...
Ease yourself into it slowly.
Start by watching them, recognise how they play, what kind of things they do, and how they get games underway, and remember that they are little miracles worthy of your admiration.
Then set up games similar to those you know they like, or ask them what they would want you to join in with.

Perhaps, if they are old enough, take them bowling...go for fun family activities.

Just relax.
It's easier to instruct, but allow yourself to play. Perhaps it's just that you feel too self-conscious when it comes to not hiding behind your lesson manuals...
Ease yourself in to being a fun parent, as well as a teacher.

You can do it!

Answer 4

You can always get rid of your computer, books and TV. That forces you to find ways to have fun with your kids, like maybe playing hide and seek with them, or taking them swimming. If they are a little older, you could try gold panning (There is gold everywhere) Or you could go metal detecting with them (you can probably find a few cheap ones on Ebay) Or get them to write some short stories and you can go to a printer and print up a few hundred copies (a good printer can print them for 2 bucks per copy) and have them sell their books in front of grocery stores for like 3 or 4 bucks each. You get to teach them entrepreneurship plus its fun for them every time they make a sale. And people love to buy books from kids. Anyway thats just a few things, but to tell you truth, you have to learn to stay away from the computer and TV. Thats the reason you are overwhelmed. You are addicted to those and just like when a drug addict doesnt get his drugs, he gets irritated and his frustration comes out on whoever is closest. Your kids are closest so you get frustrated, which further builds your want to get away and "escape" by watching TV or playing on the computer. And then when they dont let you, you get further frustrated and dont want to spend any more time. You just have to make the decision that you will not watch TV or play on the computer and once you commit to that, you will enjoy being with your kids alot more.

Answer 5

if you home school i recommend a support group, look on line for one in your area, also a moms support group of any kind, you need to open up to other moms and get it out, it also gives you a break out of the home, after you home school and have lunch, take the kids and go for a walk no matter the weather, get outside all of you, take vitamin b complex, and a multivitamin, just admitting you are having trouble relating to your children is a giant step, it will be OK, but you must get outside help, in one way or another, try different support groups, most are free and supply child care, you can check through YMCA, churches even if they are not your cup of tea they have great support groups, a local rec center, look in local newspaper, on line, good luck,

Answer 6

Why not making playing part of homeschooling?

Answer 7

I was imagin your over-tired.

You should have your parterner helping you to do both.

PS - Oh, I wish I had have been home-school, but it is illegal in the United Kingdom.

Answer 8

I think you need actual therapy. Besides, homeschooling can severely limit children't social skills TRUST me on this...you don't want to limit them further by denying them informal quality time with their parent.

Answer 9

maybe you should stick them in school that way when they get out you'll want to be with them. you can do all of your selfish behaviors during the day when they're gone.

Answer 10

then y did u have kids