For people in Bi/Religious relationships?

Question

How do you decide how to raise your children regarding religion?
I'm Atheist and my hubby is Catholic. He doesn't mind my beliefs, or lack of actually and he doesn't question me, and I don't question him.
He respects the fact that I will eat meat on Fridays if I want, and I respect the fact that he doesn't.
His only thing is that we get the kids baptized catholic. After that the religion thing is up to them. The confirmation and everything else will be up to the child.
Just wondering how everyone else makes it work.

**I should say that I'm okay with the baptism thing, and he's okay with letting the kids make their own choices after that....he thinks they should be baptized "just in case"...i have to laugh when he says that.
I was just wondering how other people make it work because I see so many people on here saying that they CAN'T be with someone because their beliefs are different, and that just seems silly to me.

RB....we've lasted this long without problems because we're both open minded people who understand that what we believe isn't always right for everyone else.

Answer 1

i'm pagan, my husband is pentecostal.
when our kids were little we took them to church often, and sometimes they went with my mom. she was baptist.
i tried to expose my children to as many religions as possible, and then when they were older i let them make up their own minds.
my daughter and grandson are catholic. my son doesn't discuss religion very much. he used to be baptist, but i think he might be atheist now.
wouldn't bother me at all.

edit
we have been together for thirty years, so different religions doesn't have to be a problem.

Answer 2

I'm an atheist that was baptized catholic and the whole baptism thing doesn't bother me at all. Splashing water on one's forehead doesn't make the character, doesn't influence or alter the personality, or establish the foundations for a life.

It's a harmless gesture. Hell, according to official catholic doctrine anybody can be "officially" baptized catholic by sprinkling water on his/her forehead and saying "I baptize you in the name of the father, the son and the holy spirit."

I even did this to help a friend out (he's a jew and his girlfriend's father hates that, so I made him "officially" catholic even though he's still jewish to appease him).

That's all fine and good. The one thing I would encourage you to do is to make sure you expose your kids to other religious beliefs (especially pagan gods - Egyptians, Norse, Greek gods, etc. but certainly also Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Taoism, and so on) just to give them a well rounded background when they make that choice in the future.

Also make absolutely sure they are learning proper science and not distortions... If they say "evolution means we came from monkeys" or "Evolution is random chance" explain to them the truth (we share a common ancestor with apes, and natural selection is the opposite of random chance), and so on. Also make sure they're not teaching bogus stuff like "Intelligent Design" in your school. The Vatican and the Catholic Church have both officially stated that evolution is true and that ID is not science and shouldn't be taught in schools, so that shouldn't be a problem for your hubby.

Answer 3

My husband is Muslim and I am non-practicing Christian/studying Islam. When we first met I was studying Christianity with some friends but not finding the answers I wanted. When we discussed marriage I knew our children would have to be raised as Muslims and I really didn't mind. By that time I had started studying Islam and really respected the family values and morals that Islam encourages. Even if I never convert completely to Islam, I will forever respect my husband's religion. Also, I will live in a way that makes it convenient for him and our future children to comfortably practice their beliefs.

Answer 4

I think you should expose the kids to lots of different religions, like Judaism, and Islam, Hindusim etc., when they are old enough to comprehend the importance of the decision so they can make their own choice. I am very against the idea of child baptism. I think they should be at least 14.

Answer 5

Sounds good to me. Baptism, fine. The rest, leave it to the child's discretion - as it's supposed to be anyway but almost never is. It sounds like you already run an open-minded, tolerant household, which is the best thing anybody can do for a child.

Answer 6

It doesn't sound as though you need any help. An open, tolerant attitude is a wonderful thing.

My mother was an Atheist and my father is a retired minister. They fully respected each others beliefs and raised us to think for ourselves and let us make our own decisions.

Answer 7

This can often cause strive in a marriage. My friend is Jewish and her husband protestant. Before kids they couldn't care less about their religions. Once the kids were little they still didn't worry about it. Now, as the kids are 9 and 11, the fight has begun. They argue about which holidays to celebrate and whether or not to do christmas with the tree and all. I'm not saying it is the same for all, but the chances are great. I also feel, that it confuses a child. I know you say you want them to decide, but at a young age, kids want to do what their parents think is best for them. To learn that there is a God and then that there isn't is very confusing. I think you two need to decide which one of this you will instruct your children in and stick with that one until they are young adults.

Answer 8

I personally wouldn't care if my kids were baptized. To me it means nothing and does nothing and it's just water. If it bothers you then speak with him about it but if it doesn't then why rock the boat.
I wouldn't want my kids in Sunday school getting brainwashed mind you.

Answer 9

My husband is (still) Christian and I'm an Agnostic (was Christian). We have agreed not to raise our children in any religion. They may choose one when they're old enough.

Answer 10

Even tho my husband was an atheist for most of his life, he was not against our kids being raised religious.. They knew that he was an atheist as they grew older and he would discuss it with them as I did my beliefs.My husband is now a Christian(7years) and very thankful that we raised our kids so that they knew both sides.