I came across some messages of him that make me suggest he is. One message was that he told one of his friends that he was walking around the park like a drunk just thinking about "HIM". Another one was really disturbing to me, it said that he is SO excited that "CLINT" was staying the night and that they will finally be alone.He had asked me if that kid could stay the night. I just don't know what else to think, there are no other clues that that would make me think he is.
2007-03-16 10:10:49 · 22 answers · asked by sweet_pcr35 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Instead of asking him, give him the opportunity to tell you. This will not happen if he feels he will be less loved or berated if he shares this information.
2007-03-16 10:15:39 · answer #1 · answered by ignoramus 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you don't want your son to be gay. Either that, or you are jsut a little scared of what could happen to him if he is. It is something to worry about. Being gay may make some things more difficult in a person's life, but luckily, with what seems to be more and more people coming out, homosexuality is being very acceptable. So, if you were worried, don't be, your son will be OK if he even IS gay.
Asking is a problem though. If your son is gay, then he wouldnt mind you asking if he was. If he isn't gay, then he could take great offense to being asked that. I would let him tell you on his own. Maybe start topics that might hover around homosexuality. If you two are doing something together, ask him how he's doing, if there is anyone he likes at school. If the topic of sexuality ever comes up, let him know you are OK with gay.
Remember, you're the dad, and he most likely (even if he doesnt show it) respects and loves you, so if you absolutely MUST know right away, go ahead and straight up ask. Out of nowhere is ok.
2007-03-16 17:26:33 · answer #2 · answered by vito b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't ask him just yet.
TOo many people put way too much into kids trying to sort out their personal identities.
It is not unusual for a teenager to have a "social crush" on a kid of the same sex. it doesn't mean they are having or are thinking about having sex.
it may be that this "Clint" you are hearing about is someone who is willing to pay attention to your son and offer him some kind of friendship that he is lacking.
He may be considered a cool kid and if your child is NOT in the "in crowd" it may be a heady enough thrill to make him giddy.
If he asked for his friend to stay over, tell him you would like to talk it over with his family and pick a convenient time to have him over.
if for some reason your son decides to make an "announcement" of his personal choice, you can deal with it THEN.
you can control whatever sleeping arrangements are made (you can also monitor without his knowlege by staying up all night)
2007-03-16 17:23:55 · answer #3 · answered by stonechic 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is figure a out a way to tell him and show him you would accept him and still love him and support him no matter what happened. My father accused me of being a Lesbian and then almost resorted to beating me because he thought I was lying when I told him I wasn't. It traumatized me and our relationship was strained after that. By the way he also found (red flags) on the computer but it turned out to be my 15 year old stepbrother who had been looking at inappropriate stuff on the computer. So whatever you do, just don't jump to conclusions. If he is gay then he will eventually come to you and let you know. All he needs is to know he will be loved no matter what.
2007-03-16 17:30:48 · answer #4 · answered by Jamie C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put yourself in his shoes. I think I would have been incredibly embarrassed and hurt if my mom or dad asked me that when I was 14. Maybe if I was gay I'd feel different about it, but, either way, I think you're kind of intruding into his mind. You're the grownup here, it's not about making you feel better or satisfying your curiosity, it's about your son's wellbeing. You "came across" some messages, now you need to deal with your own thoughts on them.
2007-03-16 17:29:04 · answer #5 · answered by mattzcoz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First ask yourself...."what will you do if he is gay?"
Another scenerio is that your son could be a bully and he wants to kick Clints *ss, so he was excited to be alone with him
But you are probably right that he is gay. If you want to know, you can ask. Try to scare the hell of of him that homosexuality is bad and that 90% of people with aids got it from homosexual sex. (true numbers by the way)
2007-03-16 18:15:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It could be a misunderstanding. For the better or the worst, "CLINT" may want them to be alone to do things such as witchcraft, drugs, etc. But that may not be the case so don't jump to my conclusions! haha. It could also be something as simple as playing a video game.
The best way is to confront him and don't beat around the bush. If you support his opinion, let him know before you question him! I know if my mom asked me if I was gay the best way I would want it to be heard is
"I support your beliefs and you know I will always love you. Just please let me know if you are gay and that will be that. I will think no different of you."
Of course, I'm not but if you do not support him, I would have to say to call a close friend and ask them how they would approach their child.
2007-03-16 17:17:00 · answer #7 · answered by xkaylynnnn 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Hey Mom! It's normal for 14 year old boys to be curious about their sexuality. I don't think your 14 year old is old enough or sexually developed enough to determine whether or not he is gay. It's also normal for boys his age to masturbate together. This doesn't mean that they are gay. Just be a wise and observant Mom and don't do anything to embarrass the kid.
2007-03-16 18:44:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, sit him down and let him know what your concerns are. Make him feel that no matter what his answer will be you will still love him. His greatest fear may be rejection by his family and not living up to the picture you may have of him. Chances are he is very confused right now (as any 14 year old is no matter the situation), but he needs to feel love from you. You can not like his choice and still love him. Make him understand that. Don't talk, listen to what he has to say.
2007-03-16 17:18:14 · answer #9 · answered by ladyc 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
It definitely sounds like he could be...I'm sorry.
Just come out and ask him...my mom regularly asks my 16 year old brother if he is because he always pretends that he is and stuff (not sexual stuff..just by the things he says..it's really funny) and she just says "Are you gay?" and he always replies with a "No" because he isn't...
Just come out and ask him...tell him the reason you are asking him...but make sure he knows that you weren't snooping.
2007-03-16 19:00:24 · answer #10 · answered by em<3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my first instinct was to type, "let your son tell you."
but it sounds as though your son might need the sex talk. true, there is no need for the bit about the birds and bees, but you should discuss with him the dangers of STDs, etc. perhaps you could have the talk without asking your son if he's gay. you could just say, "these are the ways you can get STDs..." and list the hetero- and homosexual ways of getting various diseases. uncomfortable, but potentially life-saving.
2007-03-16 17:30:27 · answer #11 · answered by Delores on the dotted line 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋