Stay at home moms whos husbands work long hours?

Question

How do you keep from getting lonely? My husband sleeps till nine in the morning, goes to work at ten, and comes home at about 9:30 at night. We have a good relationship, I just hardly see him. I am a stay at home mom, because we are actually saving money by me not working. Daycare is expensive, and we have five kids between us.We rarely get to go on dates because there is no one willing to watch five kids at once, so we have to find several babysitters, and make sure they are all available every time we go out.Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being a mom, my kids and I have a blast together, but sometimes I just get so lonely without anyone to talk to but my kids all day. I have sort of resorted to corresponding with people on here ( I don't like chat rooms) , to get some kind of adult interaction. But I've found that usually people on here don't want to interact beyond the questions and answers. I know this probably sounds like "Poor me" , but it's not. (running out of room....)

I would just like to know how other stay at home moms keep from getting so lonely? We only have one vehicle, and my husband has to take it to work, so getting out within these hours is out of the question. I'm usually fine, there are just some days when I feel like " Man, I wish I had someone here!"

To plugged in mom- Six children,Gosh! All ten and under, too. I've got two stepchildren, but they live with us all the time, and three of my own. They are ranging from ages 7 to 1 yr. Alot of times that is what keeps me going, is knowing there are other moms out there who do the same, or more!

To Pedro- I used to get on chat rooms a couple of years ago, and it seemed like there was always a bunch of people who would just go in there specifically to ruin it for everybody. It just seemed like a bunch of immature people who like to argue. I'm sure they are not all like that, but it kind of ruined the experience for me.

Come to think of it, that's how it is alot of times on Answers, too, isn't it? If I could find a chat room with people who are serious about having a conversation, and who don't ruin it by turning it into a chance to bash someone, or wanting sex, that would be great!

Answer 1

I don't know the entire scope of your situation, however, as a mother of six children ages 10 and under, perhaps I can add some of my opinions/experience. First, I am heavily involved in my church. I have found some of my best friends there who are in identical situations. I bond with them since most of them are stay-at-home moms who understand as well.

Secondly, your children can help aid in you finding friends as well. Enroll them in local storytimes at the library if you have younger ones. If they are older, perhaps you can get involved in the PTA at school. There you can meet other moms.

Frequent the park, there seem to always be moms there, too.

Don't give up. This too shall pass. Before you know it your house will be empty and quiet.

Love them! Good luck! Hopefully your husband's schedule will slow down. And put the kids down early some nights and watch a movie and eat some fattening snacks. :)

Answer 2

I was a military wife and he was gone for six months to a year at a time leaving me with huge responsibility very little money and I worried about his safety and welfare all the time. I certainly understand your feelings. It gets very lonesome and sometimes one cannot help but feel that very strongly. My children are long grown and all I can tell you is that it was well worth the struggle you can get through it and you will like yourself better if you just keep the focus on getting though it as much as possible. My heart and prayers are with you good luck.... remember this will not last forever. Very proud of you being a full time Mom is one of the most rewarding under paid jobs in the world.

Answer 3

If you're not opposed to chat rooms or groups you might check Yahoo groups for moms in your area. Some of the public groups get the sex spam but if you can get into a private group (usually by answering some kind of questionnaire) you don't find as much of that.

You could also check out iVillage.com's board for SAHM's. http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-psathomemoms?ice=ivl,searchmb I know it was really good before iVillage acquired it but I didn't like the format they changed it to so don't know anything recent.

You might also check out this site which puts moms together by region: http://www.matchingmoms.org/.

Other than that if you're close enough to walk or bike to parks or libraries it can be worth it, not only to get the kids active but to meet other moms there.

Answer 4

It is hard, especially if you have friends that are at work all day and dont have time to chat. Maybe while the kids are in school you can get out and meet people to do lunch with or go to the gym. Find adults to interact with. Kids are great but you do need adult conversation every once in a while. Good luck

Answer 5

i can relate hun.....from the males veiwpoint....my situation is different though...the wife and i both work....i run a grocery supply company plus on the side i have a shop here at home for appliance/automotive repairs and detailing....my wife works at a cable office then does housekeeping work,accounting and tax work and sometimes daycare....on top of that we are both actively involved in our church.....I have 3 daughters 17,16 and 12 (not hers,2nd marriage)which outside of school i primarily care for.....we know each others careers well enough when we do have time together we rarely talk...gets boring and lonely

Answer 6

Wow! I just have one child and a stay @ home mother. Keep trying to find someone to sit with the kids. How about the grandparents helping out. I still think the stay @ home mother should get an income somehow

Answer 7

Yep, I know where you're coming from, believe me...that's why I'm here! Our 4 kids are wonderful but I do go nuts sometime...and yes, it's hard to find a sitter for 4...(I wonder why? ;))
Hopefully someone could help solve this dilemma we face.

Answer 8

Anybody who reads "poor me" into that post hasn't actually lived your life. With no car at your disposal - that makes it hard. I joined a couple of playgroups to meet grown-ups, but I'm not sure how that would have worked if I didn't have a car.

Answer 9

I only have 2 kids, but you just described my life! One car, long hours, no adult interaction! It was like reading about myself. I started using answers to get the interaction too. So don't feel bad there are plenty of us out here that feel your pain.

Answer 10

that does indeed suck, why dont you like chat rooms?