I'm pregnant and she is being as rude as ever. She claims that when the baby is born she's going to "beat him up and make him sorry he was born" I don't know what I can do about this...She's 6. My sister told me to just bribe her in to being good, but that's too expensive over time, and I bet it won't work. Oh boy... what can I do to make my daughter not be so bratty and accept the fact that her brother is going to be born in May and we love him too.
2007-03-16 09:51:44 · 14 answers · asked by rainangel87 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
oh and she's tried to kick me on the bump and I hauled her to her room and shut her in there. It doesn't matter WHAT we do she is such a pain over nothing!
2007-03-16 09:52:51 · update #1
she wants all the attention, spend some good quality time with her.
2007-03-16 09:59:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Her being the only child up until the birth of this one, she realized she is going to have to share Mom and Dad and she is very jealous. Most likely she will try to hurt the baby because she is so jealous over him. You need to include her into the helping out with her baby brother, make her know that her baby Brother will need her as his Big Sis. My son was the same way when I had his baby sister, he was 7 at the time. But when she was born, I would let him hold her and feed her and become a Big part of her Life. He is 28 Now and his sister is 21 and hes still very protective of his baby Sister.
2007-03-20 11:07:48 · answer #2 · answered by donna_honeycutt47 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I once read a book about sibling rivalry and if you can get this picture in your mind, at adult level, I think it might help you at least know her fears. Picture this, your husband comes home and says, you know honey, I love you so much as a wife, I'm going to "have" another one. ANd you will get to share everything with her, your clothes, toys, bed, shoes, kitchen, car, won't that be fun ?? Now all of you are probably thinking this is crazy,but a child that has had mom for 6 years, and all siblings feel in this way to some degree or another, so if you can discuss with her the fears she has, like mentioned above and make a plan to show her exactly how she is still going to be in your life ,much loved as always, and nothing to do with the baby, one hour each day devoted only to her, lunch once a week with her only. ONly is the key word, because this means she still gets time with you. If your husband did get a new wife, wouldn't you want promises of things to come alone with him ? Also at this point, encourage family members to always address her with hi etc. before talking about the upcoming baby and when the baby arrives, always address her first as if the baby isn't there.
2007-03-16 17:16:20 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me as she is very jealous.. There will be 6 years between them, If you go out and get stuff for the baby, take her on a shopping trip of her own and get her something special, (but dont use bribes they dont work)or your when you are out see if she wants to get something for the baby ( such a bottle or rattle, or stuffed animal) that might will help her adjust.. You got to remember see has been the center of your attention for 6 years... Just make sure she that she know that you love her, but get her involed with getting stuff ready for her brother....Have her make a shirt that says she is the big sis!!!!!
2007-03-16 18:59:41 · answer #4 · answered by krista a 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh, sibling rivalry...she is SCARED!
She is used to being the baby!
Ask your doctor/midwife for little tips to help make the trasition easier...
You were right to put her in her room for trying to hurt you.
Ask her what the problem is, and why she is so scared- does she believe that you are replacing her with the new baby? My cousin was 5 when her mom had a new baby, and she would get vicious sometimes, just because she didn't understand that mommy and daddy weren't going to abandon her.
I think she is panicking and needs extra reassurance, perhaps a card from baby brother saying how much he loves her?
Involve her as much as you can.
It will be hard, but you will find ways that work for your family!
2007-03-16 18:20:43 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Pamela♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A little jealousy is normal, but this is alarming. You need to talk to her and ask why she is saying these things. Listen to her, ask what her feelings are and try to reason with her. Make her realize how special it is to be a big sister and let her help you with small things. My son is 5 and my daugher will be one in May. My son uses his sister to get attention for himself, whenever strangers say how cute she is, he proudly proclaims "that's my sister!". I think it's because we have always tried to keep him involved in everything from the time I learned I was pregnant until now. Don't give her the attention she wants when she is acting like this. Tell her if she is going to be mean, she will have to stay away from her brother and if she hurts him, you will have to call the police and they will take her away until she can be good.
2007-03-19 06:14:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess that the answer depends on how she has behaved up until now, and how you have dealt with unwanted behavior in the past. If she is a relatively well-behaved child and you have practiced consistent, appropriate discipline, then you need to reassure her that there is plenty of room and love in your lives for her and the new baby. Get her excited about what this means for your family. It is hard for children, especially only children, to learn to share. It is your job to teach her. Get her involved with picking names, readying the nursery, etc...Sit down and read your pregnancy book with her (edit for content). Share the joy of this whole experience with her, and she will be ready to welcome a new member of the family.
If, as parents, you have raised a child with no discipline and no boundaries, and she has always been a total brat, then you have to start from the beginning, and not make the same mistake with her little sibling.
2007-03-16 17:08:27 · answer #7 · answered by VistaMoon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Therapy. It works for some people. My middle child was being a brat about me being pregnant with her little brother, but not to the extremes that yours is. She's just afraid that you're going to forget all about her. You have to show her that she's still loved by you guys, and trying to get her involved with the day to day care of the baby would be a good thing to try. But with your daughter, after all that and still no progress, you may have to try a therapist for her.
2007-03-16 16:56:27 · answer #8 · answered by Dizzy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter is AFRAID that the baby will be more important to you than she is. She is AFRAID that you will not love her anymore. She is acting out from fear and anger. She is crying out for your love and attention.
You need to let her know that you love her and will always have enough love for her and the new baby.
I know you are pregnant and probably don't have a lot of time, but please read Siblings Without Rivalry...it may explain to you what your daughter is feeling and why she is acting the way she is.
2007-03-16 17:18:28 · answer #9 · answered by dragonsong 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT PAY HER!!! ok..... well make a HUGE deal that she isnt going to be just a big girl now, she is going to be a BIG SISTER...... and i mean the works.... shirts that say big sister and everything like that...... and talk to her.... make sure she understands that u still love her so much but now ur also going to love the new baby....... and i'm sure when she see's that prescious baby face she will fall in love and be very caring and protective of her new little bro/sis....
2007-03-16 23:48:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like your daughter needs therapy.. even a 6 year old making threats like that can be dangerous. You need to get her some help before the baby gets here.. Did she act crazy about other things before you got pregnant?
2007-03-16 16:59:01 · answer #11 · answered by Legs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋