Where has the respect gone? I work with children in the NYC public school system.?

Question

The schools that I have worked in are in our low income inner cities. I see these children on a daily basis being very rude and dispectful to adults and to each other. Half of them cant even read or do the basics. They dont want to finish school and they feel that where they are from is all they will ever have. When did we lose control? When did we make it okay for kids to fail and not care, but they walk around with $150 sneakers and talking on $300 phone that these parents buy for them so they dont have to be bothered with spending time with them? How do we get our children back? How do we let them know that they are worth it? please give me your feedback...

Answer 1

I agree w/ you. I also work in the public school system (different city)-- and the situation is very sad.

I just to do my part by respecting the children & giving them encouragement and hope:)

Answer 2

Everything good or bad begins in the home. Children start school after five years of what they've been exposed to in the home. Then the government comes along and passes laws that blindside parents. Don't spank them or face jail time. Only notice the good things they do. Ignore the bad. After five years of only positive reinforcement kids have learned that they can get by with anything. Bribe the kids. Fill their heads with endless hours of TV and video games and their rooms with enough toys to start a store. Fill their ears with every filthy word and these will be the first words the kids learn to say. And laugh when they say something disgusting. What parent has time to teach children good manners? Half the homes only have one parent and that parent has to do it all: bring home the bacon, cook the bacon and go out and get more bacon. No time for family togetherness. Send them off to school where it's against the law to pray or carry a Bible. Give them a housekey so they can let themselves in and stay alone. How else could a parent ever have time to stop by the neighborhood bar for a few cool ones? The kids will be all right, unless they get abducted, or raped, or drowned, or set the house on fire. Buy them $200 shoes so they can run fast if someone tries to steal them. Buy them a cell phone so you can check up on them. And so the drug deals are easier made. Get a big screen TV so the kids won't miss any of the sex and violence.
I taught school in the era when kids were polite; they had gum in their pockets instead of guns; parents were involved in the school's activities, and teachers were respected as people who worked with families to ensure that all children got a good education. Kids didn't have to be told what they could or couldn't wear to school. Parents had the common sense to send the child to school clean, well groomed and in clothes that fit. Bare bellies didn't hang out and neither did underwear. Everyone wore a belt.
I think America has lost its way! And I really believe going back to what worked would take more hard work and unity than today's parents are willing to give. God bless the people who still try to teach under today's conditions. NOT ME!

Answer 3

Respect went out the door when parents became too afraid to discipline their kids for fear of being accused of child abuse. The respect went out the door when we started taking GOD out of everything that was in the public eye. Respect went out the door when we eliminated corporal punishment in schools. I'm sorry but I grew up having to pick my own switch off the tree or getting my butt paddled at school when I did something wrong and I would have NEVER spoke to my parents or teachers back then the way that kids do these days.

Everyone has become so touch feely and praises positive reinforcement OVER punishment for negative and immoral behaviors and I am sick of it. There IS a happy medium people! When 2 parents work the kids are on their own a lot more often and a lot earlier and there is no one there to watch and listen and know what their kids are doing. I am not afraid to admit that I spank my kids when they deserve it, ground them when they do something wrong, and also praise them when they do well. My kids DO NOT play video games, have cell phones or expensive clothes. Those are some of the sacrifices we agreed to make so that I could stay home and my husband could work.

Parents are so afraid anymore, moreso of what other people will think of them than anything. Remember the words "Spare the rod, spoil the child"?

Answer 4

Too many people turned away from God and now this country is starting to pay for it. Children are being taught that things like clothes and cell phones and other materialistic things are more important than people. They will all grow up unhappy and just continue to chase the materialistic dream hoping that if they get enough stuff they will finally be happy. I seriously want to move out of america, and plan to hopefully in the next 5 years. These kids today are like viruses, and they spread messages of hate because they listen to music like eminem and other rap music. Their idols all spread hate. If you really want to save most of them, put religion back in school and tell the parents that dont like it to f*ck off. If they dont want thier kids to learn about religion, homeschool them then and let them deal with their own kids bullsh*t.

The bible teaches respect, how to treat others, the difference between right and wrong and how to stand up to those that are doing wrong. I just want to know what brainiac in government thought it was a bad idea to put this kind of learning IN school.

Answer 5

I do not work in the school system but I see this problem everywhere. Its not just in poor familes. I live in a middle/upper class suburb and I see the same kind of kids you are talking about. If I have a problem with a child and I go to talk to the parents, they get mad at me. When I was a kid, if a neighbor would have went to my parents about me acting badly I would have been slapped. There is no discipline anymore. There is no reward system. Kids get trophys and awards for just showing up. Noone has to try anymore. This is the self esteem generation and kids are being taught that they are wonderful just for being born. Kids don't have to earn anything anymore. I work with people that are complaining that their child just lost the 300.00 IPOD they got for Christmas. What the hell does a 13 year old girl need with that????? My daughter wanted one, I told her to get a job. Until parents wake up it will make your job that much harder.

Answer 6

PLEASE READ THIS. There is a movie called the story of Ron Clark, played my Mathew Perry. It is based on the real Ron Clark who work as a teacher in Harlem and who took a class of troubled kids who could never score well on their end of the year tests, and he transformed this rebellious class one day at a time At the end of the year this class scored higher then the Honor's class did. It is a amazing story. Ron Clark now has his own academy in Atlanta Ga. He also has a book out that help teachers work with troubled kids, or any kids. You MUST check out this movie. One person, such as you, can make a difference. Good luck, God bless, and don't give up on these children, everyone else already has, that is why they have no respect, because they don't even respect themselves.

Answer 7

I'm enraged that nobody seems to discipline their children. I know it's because we can't. Because any kind of physical punishment for your child is "abuse". They know it and have been instructed in school that if their parents hit them then they should call CPS!!!!! My own 9 and 11 year-old daughters told me about this assembly at their school. The old saying of "spare the rod and spoil the child" IS true. As long as children have parents so lax and afraid to discipline, we will have kids who are unmanageable. Also, there's the element of parents believing that their own lives are more important and have guilt about being away from their kids. They don't KNOW their kids or what goes on in their lives. But, hey, let me buy you all of this expensive stuff and that will make up for it. You don't think kids know that? Their not nealy as naive as we were - and I grew up in the 70's.

Answer 8

I agree and most of it starts at the home. And not just the physical four walls. They say it takes a village to raise a child. I was raised with a belt, and although i would never take a belt to my kids they do get smacked when needed. At 3 my daughter has and uses her manners. She says please and thank you and asked to be excused form the table when she is done eating. I know eventually the influences from other kids will affect how she thinks she can act and i will deal with that as it araises. But I shall try my best to raise a proper young lady.

Answer 9

The problem is both parents work. They don't have time to spend disciplining their kids, so they tend to resort to the easy solutions. There's no punishment kids are afraid of, so they feel they can do what they want. Every generation of kids is getting worse, because the parents are the products of a newer generation, and the farther we get, the worse the kids are.

Answer 10

Easy answer. Dicipline! None at home none at school because the very liberal , such as teacher unions, won't let you. I studied under the Nuns, stood up when they entered, did not act up in class, hit gently with a ruler when I did, lined up to leave and enter class, did not talk in class unless asked etc.etc.etc. SEE what the liberal ideas have brought. Speak out against the union and any liberal ideas.