Can I win?

Question

Ok right now I'm 12 weeks pregnant and not with the father.

I want to get full custody because I dont see him as being a fit father. He drinks, smokes (not only ciggs!), is 21 and still lives with his mother, has another baby with another woman and isnt fighting her for custody, he doesnt have a job (he is looking), and he lost his drivers lincense twice.

I live with my mother right now but we are looking into buying a bigger house and then once the baby is a few months her moving into her own place. I work full time, I'm in college, and I'm clean (dont do drugs or drink).

He wants to take custody away from me because he doesnt get much time with his other baby he wants to take my baby to live with him. He is trying to get his mother to fight curtody in his place.

Can he take my baby from me??
I'm worried how he would raise my baby??
He also hates me and doesnt want me to be in the childs life if he wins??
I need someone to help calm me down I'm so worried for my child.

I'll be 20 when the baby is born.

Answer 1

I'm not a lawyer, but generally, courts side with the mom - especially with a newborn. If he doesn't have visitation or custody of his other child, that would send a red flag up to a judge too.

Answer 2

I don't see anyway that he could keep you away from your baby as far as visitation. You would have had to do something to lose that. As for custody, it is possible for him to have custody. You are working and going to school. You have little time to raise your daughter right now. If his situation is better then you could lose it.
Why would you have a baby with someone that is like this? I'm sure you knew the situation before hand. He would likely raise the baby the same way.
The drugs you would have to prove, job would not matter too much. Drinking don't amount to anything. You have to prove he is unable to financially support her, of which he has his mom for. Although you sound like the better candidate once you get out of school, you may not be looked as one till then. It's up to the courts. I would get an attorney.

Answer 3

neither one of you should be trying to have the other person out of teh babies life. there are not that many children with both parents concerned about them. i think that you should be the grown one and say you are welcome to see your child whenever you want, but i feel that i am the most fit for teh baby to live with. being mature will also help you out in court. isnt fair for the baby in teh long run if you guys fight over them. a baby now but a young adult later. He wont win if you arent unfit. you shouldnt try to take away all custody from him. maybe you should try for full physical custody meaning the child live swith you. Be fair. Just because you drink or smoke cigarettes or weed doesnt mean hed be a bad father. maybe he will be a great father. dont take this away from your baby, if he is a bad father than you can go from there. it probably hurts him not to see the other child but he is just saying words. ovbiosly you guys arent on the same foot, but it will be okay and do whats best for your baby. when you see what youve created youll soften. i did. a father is important and if your child can have on ein his or her life keep it that way. good luck. ps dont stress not good for u or the baby.

Answer 4

You don't say how old you are, but if you are over 21 and have no convictions and are of general good health, then there is absolutely no reason the dad could get full custody. The courts would favour the mum, especially if they are aware of the other child which has little or no contact with dad.
Next time, find yourself a guy who has no history of abandoning women and kids, tho - you'll be doing yourself a favour in the long term!

Answer 5

Because your not married to this person you dont write his name on the birth cert. Then he has no rights at all. He'd have to get a DNA test which is a few hundred dollars to prove he is the father. If you put his name on the birth cert. for child support reasons, you will have to take him to court to take away his parental rights. Otherwise he has the right to see his child. He wouldnt win custody in court, first thing youd ask for is a drug test! He doesnt want the baby hes trying to control you. He'd be a fool to take you to court with his problems. If it were me I simply would NOT put his name on the birth cert. If the hospital in your state says you have to put a name under father say unknown, this doesnt look good on you because its saying your not sure, but most hospitals dont have a rule you must put a fathers name on.

Answer 6

No he can not take your baby from you. you do not have to put him on the birth certificate. seriously. when the time comes he has no legal right to be there when the child is born if they ask who the father is you can say you do not know or he is not around. since you are not marries he does not fil out any paper work for the child. but if you want him to be part of the childs life and pay child support then he has to be on the birth certifacate. Grandparents rights do not exict in alot of states anymore. you have to check with childsupport in your state on that one. and if you realy want to be a ragg and help your self out turn his worthless butt in for drugs I would not want my child to be around my wife if she was like that and the same goes for her. His treats are for the most part empty. he has no ambition to do anything. look at his first child. I wish you best with your new to be little one it aint easy but its worth every minute when they get here.

Answer 7

crack open the yellow pages and find an ad for a lawyer who specializes in custody law...make an appt for a FREE CONSULTATION and ask that guy to tel you what to do....generally speaking, you can not lose custody of this baby unless you start doing really dangerous and child endangering things....work, go to school...dont date around ...i so doubt he could actually do anything...he sounds like hes just making threats anyway.

Answer 8

in order for a judge to take your baby they have to find you unfit to parent. As you have described him and yourself i would believe that the judge would place the child with your primarily and viistation with him if he complies with counsiling for the drug abuse. Because he is 21 he can legally drink and unless he has a alcohol problem that shouldnt hurt his chances of visitation. Legal advice is best given from a lawyer in your area who is familiar with your states laws and guidelines.

Answer 9

You need to get a lawyer NOW!!!! Cut him off before that baby is born. He may have some rights but you can get his visits supervised if he has a prior record of violence or crime. Call a lawyer now.

Answer 10

You should not be worrying about "winning" This is a child's life. He/She should be the winner.