I am dating a girl that i have known for a long time. I am very much in love with her and we get along very well. I am not sure if it is good for us to be together. In the past i had serious problems with depression and suicidal thoughts and so on. And she is still at the point in her life that she has depression and suicidal thoughts. She will not go to see a psychologist. And as i said I lover her very much. But in relationships you feed off of each others strength and if we both have had the same problem could that make it worse. Now i have gotten past the depression but she is still there. I know this is a dangerous time for her. But do you think that with that being in my past could help her or hurt her?
2007-03-16 09:27:43 · 6 answers · asked by burn409 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Dont get me wrong she does make me happy. We are happy together its just she is in pain sometime. And i worry about her because i know the feeling. And i dont want to cause her more pain.
2007-03-16 09:40:19 · update #1
Hi
Yes I feel you can help her through this difficult time in her life because you have already experienced it . Maybe you can try to encourage her to take small steps to gain recovery . Depression is very serious especially when thoughts that are not normal are running through her head .
Congrads on your recovery I am glad to hear that you are better . How did you recover ? Do you think the methods you used can help her as well . You sound like you really love her and right now she needs you unless she has expressed otherwise I would be there for her and help her cope . If you leave her it will only get worse .
Good Luck
C
2007-03-16 09:38:09 · answer #1 · answered by Constance M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The Bicycle Called Life
Imagine there is a bicycle called life headed in the direction of happiness.
There are these two individuals who can walk but both think that they are paralyzed; therefore, neither can move. The only way to happiness is this happiness is to peddle the bike through what ever there is but the happiness will be experienced along the way.
Now one individual begins to realize that there is some feeling and begins to think they will be able to peddle that bike and experience some of this happiness, but the other individual has not gotten there yet. The one individual is not strong enough to help the other one on the bike as the individual has to get on the bike first for himself.
Ah, there are training wheels and adjustment parts that can be maneuvered, but the only way to get the other individual to recognize the possibility is to get her to the specialist that can utilize techniques for her to get to the point where she can experience the bike ride with these assistive devices.
This is an analogy as to there are trained therapist to help individuals such as you and your girl friend and when you are in the same position or not much above her, how can you effectively help her.
Two people are in the gutter-one says to the other as soon as I am out of here, I will help you. The other one says, I read your plan already and it does not work!
Catch my drift?
March 16, 2007 by Arene
2007-03-16 09:50:07 · answer #2 · answered by Arene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are dealing with the same issues but you are in a better place now and can be her strength and inspiration. You need at least one positive person in a relationship and sounds like that is you. If you really love her and feel she is worth it, stand by the woman you love and get through it together. The strength of two is better than one.
If you feel she would only be a negative influence (since she does not want to get help), you will need to walk away. You have to be happy yourself, life is short.
Maybe loosing you will be a wake up call?!?!?
BEST OF LUCK!
2007-03-16 09:33:24 · answer #3 · answered by AE 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why does everyone want to commit suicide? Jeez...If she won't go to a psychologist, has she seen her family doctor for a complete checkup? If she's not willing to help herself, there is not a whole lot you can do for her.
I don't see how YOUR past could hurt HER, but her situation could very well have a negative effect on YOU.
2007-03-16 09:34:20 · answer #4 · answered by Sally G 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I doubt that you will hurt her, but she is capable of hurting you although maybe not intentionally. Just by reading your question it's clear that you have doubts. I would trust those feelings and start distancing yourself. You wouldn't have these feelings of doubt if the relationship was a good thing for you. Your mind is trying to protect you.
2007-03-16 09:35:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hurt. The two of you are risking both yours and the other person's emotional state.
Both of you (including her) should get some help first.
2007-03-16 09:32:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋