child problems please read?

Question

firstly my friend has a hyper active 2 year old and she works alot of hours a week i would say minimum 40... 8-6 monday to friday now she dropps her child of at a childminders who is a friend of mine in the morning and picks her up at night she is totally naughty when at the childminder i.e(spitting swearing hitting punching etc) now im not against a mother working at all... as the child goes to her nans on a friday night till sunday morning and her mum spends sunday with her . her dad doesnt want to know and i just feel that she is being passed off as the mum is out 3 days a week partying, i just think i cant tell her it will hurt her but really she is damaging her own child as she see hers for half hour in the morning an an hour before she goes to bed .... can anybody suggest what i can do if anything much appreciated for reading this

Answer 1

To be honest with you... your friend isn't fit to call herself a mother!, there are people out there who are desperate for a child and then there are people like your friend who has one of the most beautiful gifts a person could have and is turning her back on it!

i know your concerned about upsetting your friend, but you really should tell her... you want to sit down and get through to her that you can't be a mammy and a party queen... work less, she will save money on the childminder.. you'll also find that her daughers bad behaviour will improve because she will be getting the attention that she is obviously craving!!

infact! just ask her why the hell she has a kid in the first place!.. it's a wonder she knows what the poor little bugger looks like!

good luck anyways!

Answer 2

Well unfortunately, you're in a very difficult position. But you are also a lovely woman to care so much about your friend and the welfare of this child. And i think its highly unlikely that you will be able to stand by much longer and watch whats happening. So, if the child is really suffering from hyperactivity maybe someone should suggest that she gets looked at. If its not and its just the terrible 2's, the child is in need of only her mother's attention. Thats why she plays up with the minder. Mum has to decide if she wants this child cos it looks like her daughter has become an inconvenience whilst she gets on with her own life. And the child will become more difficult as she gets older and develop into a person that she would not be able to handle or control. So, this needs to be brutally brought to the mother's attention. Probably chat with the grandmother first, if you can and get her onside then.. approach the mum to help her understand how her actions is affecting her daughter and she needs to change asap. Good Luck!!

Answer 3

DOnt fully understand your question. Is the mum working 40 hours a week monday to friday AND out 3 days a week partying?

Well, I think the childminder needs to speak to your friend and tell her that there is a problem with her daughter's bahaviour, and that if it doesnt improve, she'll have to withdraw her services. Hopefully, your friend will talk to you about this and it will give you the opportunity to air your thoughts.

The number one thing here though, is not to come across as judgemental - many mums manage to balance work and homelife.

Answer 4

firstly this child is 2 year old how do you expect a 2 year old to act like ?? i agree that she should put her child before partying and i think that the childminder should not be talking to you about these things wether you are her friend and lastly if this childminder has a problem she should herself talk toi the mother in stead of taking her money and dissing her behind her back

Answer 5

Empathize. Put yourself in your friends shoe's. Why is she out partying? Is she in search mode for a new "daddy" figure. My advice would be this. Suggest more productive things you could all do together, instead of her going out drinking. Like "hey - there is a cool childrens aquarium, maybe we can go take your daughter there next week." Learn to show alternatives instead of trying to stop someone from bad habits. If you are truly a friend you will show her the way - not tell her to stop. She won't understand.

Answer 6

Just be honest and tell her what you have seen and heard, as well as the damage that she is creating by leaving her child with other people. Her child is virtually being raised by other people, and neglected by the mother that the child wants to be with most. As a mother her first responsibility is to her child, not working so much, and surely not going out to the local bar/pub.

Answer 7

she might be missing her mum but she might have adhd or some other condition that is effecting her so don,t wright off the mother so quickly. this child sounds just like my boy he spits swears kicks punches slaps and is very rude some times through no fault of his own he has adhd and asd so don,t be so sure.

Answer 8

To be honest you are just setting yourself up to get abuse and hassle if you get involved.

Sounds like the situation is far from ideal for both mother and child but if you try fixing someone elses life it will only lead to trouble.

Answer 9

Unfortunately there isn't much you can do but talk to her about it. Let her know she is your friend and you love her, but you see her making some mistakes and if the shoe was on the other foot you would hope she would do the same for you.

Good Luck

Answer 10

The child is acting bad because she/he wants attention from their parents. I suggest sitting down with the mother and talk to her about it. Thats the only thing you can do.