okay,..so ive been with my boyfriend for almost a year and a half and everythings been pretty good. i know i love him and he loves me. however, the drawback to our realationship is our spirituality. when i get upset and ask him if hes christian he assures me he is, but then he contradicts himself by drinking, smokeing, and doing other things that a chrsitain would most definitely not do. i am very strong in my beliefs, and all i really want is for him to be too. i really do love him and i want the best for him ,but lately i have been thinking that maybe i shouldnt be with him.
the last thing i want is to not be with him anymore, an di really cant bring myself to let go. i dont know what to do.
sometimes i feel pressuerd to compromise my beliefs and im very confused
PLEASE HELP and god bless <><
2007-03-16 08:55:35 · 46 answers · asked by daisy 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
The Bible is very clear about this "Do not be unequally yoked".
If you are pressured to compromise your beliefs then the relationship is not good between you and your boyfriend.
The Lord wants you to seek Him first and His kingdom, and He has a plan and purpose for your life, for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
The Lord wants you to share your life with a man who shares your faith, and walks in the ways of God. How can two walk together unless they agree?
I understand that breaking up with your boyfriend would be painful, but what we give up for the Lord is nothing compared to what He gives us in return.
Be bold, be strong for the Lord your God is with you.
The Lord bless you!
2007-03-16 09:03:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are allowed to drink as a christian, you are not to be of drunkeness. Jesus himself would drink wine. Smoking...well I dont know about that one. If he is doing things he shouldn't be doing, tell him that. If he gets angry I'm sorry to say that he is either not a christian and poses as one, or is seriously back sliding.
We were warned that in the end the church would be lax in it's belief, do not be surprised when it happens. Not all who start the race will reach the end, the word tells you so. Encourage them to hold on and read the word, the season is here, it's the last leg of the race, hold on for just a short while longer!
No christian would ask you to compromise your beliefs, if you are being asked to compromise by a fellow christian, you are being asked to compromise by a wolf in sheeps clothing! You were warned of them! Outwardly they appear as sheep but inwardly they are ravenous wolves seeking who they can devour!
This sounds like a classic case of being unequally yoked with the partner you have found yourself with. Pray about it, and pray hard and constantly. He will answer you and perhaps things will turn around, perhaps you will be led away from your boyfriend by Him. Ask, ask, ask, pray, pray, pray. Keep an open ear and listen to what the spirit has to say, it may well be one of the most important things you hear before the end. God bless. :)
2007-03-16 09:13:49 · answer #2 · answered by Stahn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can drink and smoke and be a Christian. I'm a Christian, above the age of 21, and go out and drink with my friends (also Christians) once in a while. Does that make me less of a Christian? No. I have smoked a cigarette before. Does that make me less of a Christian? No. He may not be living the stereotypical Christian lifestyle, but that doesn't mean he's not a Christian. We're human and we sin. You don't know about his relationship with God, so don't assume to know that he's not right with God. Let God judge him, not you. If you do, he'll resent it.
If you have a problem with his drinking and smoking for other reasons, then you need to address them with him. It sounds like you're somewhat young dating someone somewhat older. Or, that you feel left out when he goes out and drinks, etc. Who knows. Be more open-minded. Look in the Bible where it says "Don't ever drink alcohol," and "Don't ever smoke cigarettes." You won't find it.
You can't change him. Consider re-posting this question in Singles & Dating, I promise you you'll get a whole different, and probably more objective set of answers.
2007-03-16 09:04:35 · answer #3 · answered by GLSigma3 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Live him alone, I suppose he was like that since day one, and you still went out with him, so, why are you complaining know? don't try to change him guys hate that, if you have a conflict with your religion, well just live him.
I don't smoke, but I love beer, and I am still a good christian, because been a good christian is not drinking or not smoking or going to church every Sunday, is believing in what Jesus said an love each others, and be a good person to every one!
2007-03-16 09:16:41 · answer #4 · answered by united we stand 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you think smoking or drinking is "unchristian" doesn't mean he's not a christian. He could very well see such things as having no issue with his faith.
It simply sounds like you have different points of view on the same thing, and that you're more extremist than he is. Remember, Jesus turned water to wine, and there is nothing inherently wrong with alcohol consumption, nor is alcohol or smoking ever discouraged in the bible.
Many times things like alcohol are discouraged by religious leaders, not based on texts (though they can stretch scriptures to try and fit their goals) but based on their own personal preferences or biases. Thing is, these beliefs of yours aren't based on your religion, but on the manipulations of leaders.
Would you be against birth control too?
2007-03-16 09:04:41 · answer #5 · answered by Mike K 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Many Christians drink and smoke, and that doesn't make them any less Christian. I don't know what the "other things" your boyfriend is doing, but, as has been pointed out many times on this forum, Christians aren't perfect. Let him be who he is. If he drinks in moderation, then there's no problem; even Jesus drank socially. If your boyfriend has a serious drinking problem, then offer him help. If he won't take it, talk to his family and see if they can help persuade him to get help. If he absolutely refuses, then you might have to make a hard decision. But don't drop him just because he isn't the picture-perfect ideal of a Christian.
"Be ye not unequally yoked" is the single most gutless advice given in the Christian scriptures.
2007-03-16 09:04:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should never compromise. 1st, we Christians aren't perfect but that doesn't justifies our actions. If we were perfect than why would Jesus have had to die on the cross? We are to press toward the mark of the high calling. The world misunderstands us. We are not perfect. We are SAVED.
The Bible tells us not to be unequally yoked.
How can two walk together except they agree??
You have to decide between Jesus and your bf.
If you have someone in your life that's not trying to help you with your walk with Christ, then what good is that person for you??
I understand that you love him, but don't you love God more? God knows what's best for you so trust in Him that He will send you your husband.
2007-03-16 09:05:34 · answer #7 · answered by Blondie 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Where does it say that Christians don't smoke or drink. Even Jesus drank wine. Remember the story of when Jesus changed water into wine at a wedding that he attended with Mary His Mother.
Now if your boyfriend is an ALCOHOLIC, that's something you should seriously worry about.
As for smoking, I personally NEVER put up with that. Stinky and disgusting as well as causing a myriad of diseases and health problems.
2007-03-16 09:20:37 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Twinkle♥Toes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's a big deal to you, then don't be with him. People are allowed to do as they please. You can't, and shouldn't, pressure people to follow your beliefs. You don't like people pressuring you to change your beliefs, why would you do it to someone else? I thought that religion teaches people to be accepting and forgiving, so why don't you act that way? Maybe I'm wrong, I'm not religious in any way, but it is super annoying when people try to "convert" me. I don't do it to anyone.
Two people with different beliefs can work, as long as they are both open and accepting of the other. But if you absolutely cannot be with someone who doesn't have your beliefs, it's probably a good idea to move on and look elsewhere.
Good luck
2007-03-16 09:05:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are very strong in your beliefs then it seems you are very weak in faith and/or knowledge.
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14
You cant marry and become one with the world in good conscience. Then you are no different from it and are denying your kids a good faithful household with both parents teaching them about the Lord.
2007-03-16 09:13:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋