Married but not in love?

Question

If two people are married but don't love one another..and one is a Christian but the other is not..and the Christian wife is miserable...but the husband is content with the way things are. Is that within Gods law to get a divorce? Hasn't the husband already broken the marriage vows by not "to love & cherish, forsaking all others"...because he puts himself first in a selfish kind of way?

Answer 1

Yea he broke his vows and yet in the bible she's only supposed to pray for God's will and if God's will is for
her to be delivered from him, she will.

She is not to leave him on her own will.

However, it does speak of adultry and being beat as the only two reasons a woman has the right to leave the man.

I myself, forced the issue (was in the same situation) and that was a sin. I was young. I named and sited my sin to God in the sons name and am forgiven, but it is better in God's eyes to stick it out and wait on his deliverance rather than what I did.

I was wrong.

I'll pray as I know just how difficult a time she is having.

Answer 2

First-You said Christian-All the people I know that claim to be christians get counseling by the minister before marriage. If someone in this horrible marriage is a Christian, the bible plainly says to not be unevenly yoked, because one will either bring the other down or quite possible butnot likely the other will better the non Christian-Or you end up like this miserable. I don't know what religion that you are practising so it's hard to say, except if you were gonna be aselfish self centerd jerk you should have stayed single- NOw you really got yourself in a mess. Hope to God there is no Kids involved. There probably isn't because of the Selfish thing going on there.How can you be happy if it's you,you,. you, all the time-Grow up!!If she practices Baptist religion I can't imagine a minister marrying you and if it is Baptist -NO it is wrong in the Baptist realm to Divorce for this reason. It is so sad to hear of this.I wish you could try to honor the vows you took , because I can see why she is miserable. But she also knew you before she married too- unless you were singing a different tune then!! You are on your own big guy!!OH one more thing -she can divorce-but she can never remarry until you are dead-That's BAPTIST Bud!

Answer 3

This is definitely within God's rules of divorce. If one of the people is a Christian and the other is not:

1. They shouldn't have gotten married in the first place.
2. That is covered by "Do not be unequally yoked to an unbeliever".
3. Yes, under Biblical statues she has the right to divorce him for the theological differences.
4. Her divorce filing should read "Irreconsilable Differences".
5. The husband's contentment isn't relevant (this is often the case between a christian wife and a non-christian husband).

To the second statement, breaking your vowes isn't necessarally grounds for divorce, as looking in the general direction of another woman would be considered a violation. If that where so, a woman could be divorced for disobeying her husband.

In short, yes it's Biblically sound - file under Irreconsilable Differences.

Answer 4

Hello. In my opinion it all depend on the point of view that a person takes on the matter at hand. Like if a person is Jewish then they might take the husband's side. If they are Christian then they might take the wife's side. In my opinion it is within the two people's choice to get a divorce. If the wife is not happy then I will assume that she is either thinking of getting a divorce or settling.

Answer 5

I am very sorry, no that isn't a good reason.

For someone to be narcissistic such as this husband that would indeed make things miserable for that I do not doubt, but reason for a divorce in the eyes of God? No. Perhaps in the eyes of the civil law and man.

Answer 6

Religion doesn't seem to be the problem with him. Sounds like you need him to be just like you or else. Sorry if that sounds a bit hard. But neither one of you is the good or the bad "guy".
LOVE and LUST are two different things. Ya know the passion goes bye bye after awhile and all you have is what ever you make of it!!
Did you ever love this guy? Can you remember what that feeling was like?
Were you ever friends? If so, maybe you could ask him how he feels about you. OR talk to him about what is "really" bothering you. But before you do, make a list of the things you really LIKE and LOVE about your husband. No one ever needs to make a dislikes list!!!!!
If you can't talk to one another you need to start working on that. Can you imagine the two of you together a year from now? How does that feel?
Me Mum was religious and Da was not. Neither one gave the other trouble about that. They gave each other space to be who they were.
They had a lot of fun together and loved each other, had arguments and made up and made 4 kids and loved EACH OTHER for over 50 years. Mum told me before she died that life for them was... "not always cake and flowers but we always talked things out together. That's why it worked."
Hope Me Mum was of help. Don't give up too quickly and don't listen to your friends. They will only tell you about themselves!

Answer 7

First, Love is a choice.... you can "fall" in and out of love... but it isnt the same as choosing to love someone because they are your spouse.

We are called to be examples of God's love to our husbands even if they are not Christians.... is she miserable? or is she just discontent? She made a vow before God, and fully believes in God... does her vow to God to love til death do they part, mean nothing to her? because, I think it probably meant something to God and still does.

if the husband has committed adultery with someone else, that would be the 'allowed' reason (as per the bible) for her to leave the marriage.... or if he was beating her, threatening her... otherwise, she has promised to 'love cherish and forsaking all others til death do we part' and breaking HER promises doesnt make things any better

1 corinth. 7:13-17
And if a Christian woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him. For the Christian wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the Christian husband brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your children would not be holy, but now they are holy. (But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the Christian husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.) Don’t you wives realize that your husbands might be saved because of you? And don’t you husbands realize that your wives might be saved because of you?

Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you. This is my rule for all the churches.

Answer 8

Is it breaking God's law? Yes.

But...

Divorce is a sin. So is anger. So is lust. So is anything that isn't "Loving the Lord with all your heart and soul and mind" or "loving your neighbor as yourself."

Christ's death and resurrection frees us from ALL sin. There isn't any one sin that's greater than any other in the eyes of God. One of God's commandments broken one time is all it takes to condemn us to hell. But Christ sets us free from all of that. If you married the wrong person, get yourself out of it. It's not any different from any other sin you commit. It is only our human nature and tradition that cause US to look at divorce as "more serious" than other sins.

God hates divorce, but God also wants you to be in a marriage that gives glory to God and demonstrates a relationship between God and us.

Answer 9

love is a choice, not a feeling.

i am very happily married, but i am so because i choose to love my husband. yes i still get weak when we kiss, or i get butterflies in my stomach when i see him pull up in the driveway - all that good stuff. but i also know that its a choice i have to make, cause there will be times when i dont feel like loving him. - but as a Christian, i know that i dont live by what we feel, we live by faith.
- divorce is never the answer.

Answer 10

I don't think two people should stay married "just because" God wants us to be happy in our marriages, and if they've tried to work things out and it just isn't making a difference then I guess a divorce is in order. It's too bad though.