how to deal with difficult pre-teen?

Answer 1

The best way to deal with difficult preteens is to find out why they're being difficult. Most teens do not feel validated by their parents, i.e. they think their parents think they're always wrong or when they argue their parents don't listen to what they say. It's important to listen to her or him. Even if you think they're being irrational it's important that you hear what they're saying, especially regarding their emotions. Even if it's saying something as simple as "I understand that you think this is unfair...." can help them listen. You need to level with them, as hard as that can be. If a child feels like their parents respect them and are willing to level with them, they're more likely to respond how you want them to. If you're pre teen is especially difficult, you may want to look into Dialectical Behavior Therapy or DBT. It offers great ways to improve communication and handle volatile people, not just teens. There are many websites that talk about DBT like:
http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/

Answer 2

Being a pre-teen in this world is very hard & stressful. Understanding this about your child and not adding more stress is the key. Be sympathetic when they get moody, its hormones!!!!! Any type of sport or artistic club, would help if they are inclined.
This is a great book to make sure u don't **** up your kid:
http://www.amazon.ca/Toxic-Parents-Overcoming-Hurtful-Reclaiming/dp/0553381407/sr=1-1/qid=1172533091/ref=sr_1_1/702-5626385-2614432?ie=UTF8&s=books

Love heals all.
Love & understanding.

Answer 3

Just be patient and remember what it was like when you where that age. It makes me laugh to think of how unreasonable I was, but always thought i was right, and had a right to do the things I did. Its a hard time of life, and eventually it gets better, try different tactics to what your doing now, it doesnt seem to work.. good luck, hang in there.

Answer 4

I am in your boat. I don't know. I never had problems before but my 11 year old is testing every nerve I have. I think they are asserting themselves and constantly testing. I'm doing what I always did. I have consequences for every thing. If she doesn't do what she's supposed to do there are consequences. I just hate these new mood swings!

Answer 5

in counseling it is asserted that most problems adults with their children are rooted on basic life style differences. we belong to different generations and as such see things different.
i have teen anger that wanted to give me hell when she was younger. everything was a problem and a cause for argument. we had very difficult situations. she is in college now and is a sweetheart.. children grow up and mature ,u will see.
it is useless to argue with kids, it is dangerous. !!! things can get out of control and horrible things can ensue.
you really do not say much about how is she difficult.
all teens are rebellious. we were, and our parents were. we do not remember or choose not to. how many times did you give your parents a hard time .?..ohhh but it was different!!! u say.. well yeahhh! it IS different...! we live in very confusing times. there is a lot of pressure on kids to perform, to be the koolest, the smartest, the mouthiest, the most rebelios,,.... to have to act... u have to see that. even grown ups are difficult to live with. and a lot have a hard time with their lives
u may want to think quietly about what it is your kid does that drives u crazy ... u will be surprised to find out that really is no big deal.
sit down in private with her...or him..and ask what is he /she wants from u. money/? long hours to hang with friends? who r they? can they come over? extravagant clothing? as long as they do not go naked, they can wear whatever.. we do. tattoos? there u need to do some significant explaining see what it is and see if you can compromise , exchange , barter, negotiate. never fight , never call names, or curse, and never NEVER kick him/her out of the house.
CONSEQUENCES for unacceptable behavior are in order..rewards for compliance and nice!.if all fails u need to see a counselor, a police officer can visit and read him/her the miranda rights..just that will bring him/her back to reality....now is the time to find a livable solution... later it gets worse. at 16 the law says u can't touch them. they can even drop out of school.,or leave your home. so think about all that... do you have others ? what about example to them?
REMEMBER MOST ISSUES ARE DIFFERENCES OF OPINION.....u r the grown up... show some muscle, control,knowledge, sympathy, generosity, and most of all love. we need to love or children for ever and UNCONDITIONALLY, not when they r good or they do what we want...and WE need to tell them...i love u, i don't like what u do, ur friends ...whatever it is u don't like... she/he has to know u are there for him/her no matter what... and know u r in charge, NOT him/her..our children are wonderful beings... try to find that in yours

Answer 6

i'm 15 and THANK GOD i'm over that stage!!!
it's just a rebelllion stage.
we all had it (or will have it).
they just dont comprehend that u are trying to help them.
but dont be too protective!!!
let her/him make some mistakes, that's life!!!
if she/he wont' learn from others' mistakes then let her at least learn from her/his own.
take it from someone who still has it fresh in thier mind.

Answer 7

one day at a time.

Answer 8

foster care