can somebody tell me a joke?

Question

pleazz:)

Answer 1

Two Yahoo!Answers freaks walk into a bar. The bartender asks the first one what he wants for a drink. The second guy doesnt give the first guy time to answer but answers for him. So the first guy beats the crap out of the second guy. The bartender kicks them both out. Everyone was happy.

Answer 2

Here are some reasons why it’s better to be female...

We got off the Titanic first.

We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

We never ejaculate prematurely.

We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

We absently hum tunes from musicals without anyone being suspect of our sexuality.

When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous. When men buy a blow up doll it’s pathetic.

We don’t have to get our strength up between sessions...and it’s much easier for us to get "some" in the first place.

We can get off with teenagers without being called dirty oldperverts.

Our boyfriend’s clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous - guys look like complete idiots in ours.

We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

We can cry and get off speeding fines.

We live longer, so we can be cantankerous old biddies wearing inappropriate clothes and shouting at strangers......

Men die earlier so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

Taxis stop for us.

We’ve never fancied a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

Answer 3

a priest, a rabbi, and an atheist are walking down the beach when they find a million dollars. they begin wonder what they should do with the money. should they give it to god or split it amongst themselves. so the rabbi says, "i have an idea. we draw a circle in the sand, then we throw all the money in the air. everything that land outside the circle we'll give to god, and everything lands inside the circle we'll keep."
then the priest says, "no, i have a better idea. we draw a circle in the sand, and throw all the money in the air. everything that lands inside the circle we'll give to god, and everything that lands outside the circle we'll keep."
then the atheist says, "i have the best idea. we'll throw all the money in the air, and whatever god wants he can keep!!!"

Answer 4

This really ugly man goes into his regular bar and he is grinning from ear to ear (usually he wears a frown). The bartender asks him "why are you so happy?"

The ugly man says "Earlier today, I was walking by the train tracks behind my house and saw a woman with her body tied down to the tracks. I untied her, took her home and we made love all day - her on top, me on top, every position imagineable - it was awesome!"

The bartender asks "Was she pretty?"

The ugly man said "I don't know, I never found her head."

Answer 5

what is the difference between a porcupine and a ferarri?? well, on a porcupine the pricks are on the outside!!

Answer 6

what do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?
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A Salad Shooter
;0
;)
hehe