Is it wrong for a woman to pay for her own ring when you live together and share expences but the woman earns alot more ??
(No I haven't just bought my own ring!!)
2007-03-16 07:44:31 · 20 answers · asked by cavviecath 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Interesting that you should ask this exact question. My fiance and I live together and split the bills. I also make more money than he does. When we decided for sure that we wanted to get married, it just so happened to be just a few days before I was getting a big bonus at work. Since I had the "extra" money, we both went and picked out my ring and bought it. The money for the ring came out of my bonus - but to me it is "Our" money, not just mine.
We have been joined as a couple for quite some time now and don't look at it as "my" money or "his" money. It is "ours" and we spend it as we both see fit.
So - I say go for it! I am sure you and your boyfriend (or whomever this is about) can pick out a fantastic ring that you both will love if you help contribute to the cost.
2007-03-16 07:59:30 · answer #1 · answered by confused1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the woman's b/F should pay for at least 1/3 of the price of the ring. It is custom that the man pays for the ring, but if you like a ring so much and feel he cannot afford it, and you make alot more money, I see no reason why you cannot pay for some of it, but be sure to make him pay for part.
2007-03-17 17:26:12 · answer #2 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this may sound anti-feminist, but it's not - it's simply a "girl thing".
If you buy your own, it will always bother you that he didn't buy it for you. Let him buy what he chooses for you, within his budget, whatever the ring is and whatever the cost. Girl, if you make so much money, you can buy your own flashy expensive dressy ring anytime!
My husband bought my engagement ring, but when it came to getting the wedding band, he had no money - so I bought my own wedding band. Almost 18 years later, I still love the man madly, but it STILL bothers me - a little niggling in the back of my head. And I'm WAY less materialistic than other women, and not a jewellery hound. It was the symbolism.
2007-03-16 17:22:36 · answer #3 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want an engagement ring if you are going to buy it yourself - as a romantic gesture I think they are lovely but if its just to show that you intend to get married at some point then I'm not sure of the point of it.
Why not spend the money on something lovely for your home or a romantic break away instead?
I have niether engagement or wedding rings but it doesn't mean I'm 'less married'.
2007-03-16 15:19:27 · answer #4 · answered by Leapling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does depend on both you's how long you have both been together have you already picked one out together then you might of seen a more expensive one so you are willing to pay ,it all depends if you really want a ring an he might not be able to afford that one an yous are fine with that an want to get engaged i say yes myself if you's really love one another .
2007-03-16 15:45:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As our finances are generally pooled together (we both have separate bank accounts, but we put a certain amount aside in a joint account) my ring was purchased from the joint account, I also earn more money that my other half, so realistically I may well have been the one to pay for it, but what we have we share, what is mine is his, so it all works out in the end.
2007-03-19 11:27:04 · answer #6 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that its necessarily wrong. Everyone has different outlooks as to what is right/wrong for them.
I once offered to pay half for my engagement ring because we were living together. Then I talked to some of my married/divorced guy friends and they told me that purchasing that ring is a power issue. They want to buy that and propose to their fiance is proof of how deep their commitment is to their beloved.
Follow your heart and do what you think is right for your (or someone else's if you are asking for a friend) situation.
Take care!
2007-03-16 15:05:21 · answer #7 · answered by Krissy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to assume (or at least hope) that you have progressive views on modern gender roles based on the fact that you are living together prior to marriage and are in a comfortable relationship in which you earn more than your boyfriend.
It depends on who proposed to who, just like it depends on who asked who out on a date. If he asked you to marry him, then he should pay for your engagement ring as well as his. If you asked him to marry you, then you should pay for his engagement ring as well as your own. Equality works both ways.
2007-03-16 14:51:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see anything wrong in this particularly, as these things depends on individuals and their views. It can be very wrong too, but it can be just fine too. If both agrees, helping each other out is also another sign of love and care, as long as it does not create tension or intimidation or it does not affect self worth and affection for both (boy and girl) I don't think it matters especially after you are living together.
2007-03-16 15:05:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No not wrong at all... maybe unusual and a little less romantic, but if you live together presumably a lot of your expenses are put together so there's no reason why an engagement ring shouldn't be one of those expenses! :) xx
2007-03-16 15:15:05 · answer #10 · answered by lou lou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋