My on/off girlfriend fell pregnant - it was unplanned - what should I do, I am not ready for a child?

Question

Our relationship is very unstable and it look unlikely we will get married or settle down together. How much involved should I be?

I am happy to take care as much as I can, but I won t be with her, and I am wondering how its going to work and how it will affect the child

Answer 1

Man up. Your kid. Take care of it.

Answer 2

well first off as a woman myself with 2 kids.. we dont fall pregnant. Men do put forth half the effort you know. And most pregnancies , weather married or not are unplanned. As someone who had a baby and wasnt with the father any longer it's up to the both of you how involved you want to be. If you feel that you can both raise this child and be good mature parents even tho you arent together anymore then please try . From my own experience growing up , if you dont think you can be around enough and dont want the hassle I would give up my parental rights as a father. My dad wasnt around much even tho my parents were married . I mean that by the fact that he was more like a child than an adult. I hope this will help you . If not, sorry for any confusion I might have added to your plight.

Answer 3

Ok. From a woman's perspective, there are some questions the two of you may want to answer together:

1) Is abortion an option? Don't use abortion first. Save it to be considered, but don't close the doors on it.

2) Is this relationship strong enough to even be good enough friends? Can we hold ourselves together for this baby?
If you can't, it may be a wise idea to consider possible single parenting, or adoption (within or outside of the family).

3) "I'm not ready for a child, but is that their fault?"
This is not meant to be cruel. This is something that many first-time parents go through. Be sure to consider the life of your baby. Abortion may be the option for you and your situation. That is between you and your "on/off girlfriend".

Like I said before, consider abortion as a LAST RESORT. Remember, the first part made of a child is a heart...

I wish you luck!

Answer 4

its too late for regrets time 2 step up and be a man so u can raise this child its also time 2 try 2 and get a better relationship with ur girlfriend. just because u guys are not married or plan ongetting married does not mean abort the baby. and what do u mean how involved should u be, a child is a child no matter wether u r married or not, you should be there for that child through thick and thin no matter what ur issues are witht the mother.

Answer 5

you should have thought of that before! If you're relationship is unstable do not stay together cause that's a bad situation for a child.Lot's of parents share custody, but if you don't want to be involved with the child emotionally you'd better at least step up and help out financially, it's the very least you could do.

Answer 6

You should be there for your child, emotionally and financially.

If you and the mother do not get along, you will need to overcome it and think of the welfare of your child. Even if you are not together, you will have to work together as parents.

I don't know why she is having the baby if it is unwanted. She must want it and not really care what you think, which is sad, because it affects your life as much as hers. I will think positively and think she is having the baby because she loves you and wants to be your family.

You might be suprised at the feelings that will surface once you become a father. Put yourself in your baby's situation, and what you would wish for. Then think about your baby as an adult thinking about what kind of father you'd been. Try to do the best for your baby now to avoid regrets later.

It would be wonderful if you can raise the baby together, but if not, please be there for your child because his/her life will be better for it.

Good luck to you and your baby, and I hope this helps! :)

Answer 7

Well you should at least prepare to start paying child support. There are always consequences to any relationship and this is one of them. Though you 2 may not be together you will still need to be responsible for the child. Good luck and hope that things work out.

Answer 8

actually that doesn't even seem youthful, now a days its prevalent. Years in the past they fairly regarded two times if the lady replaced into 16 under no circumstances ideas 19. 11 weeks definitely is a lengthy time period to practice, except she's definitely out partying and eating even as pregnant i do not see a huge deal. there is no longer a lot to practice for, my mom replaced into between 21 and 28 even as she had youthful ones the in person-friendly words preparation she did fairly replaced into get a cradle, some sleepers. both one in all you are able to could strengthen up very right now once your son is born, and that i'm particular she is regularly occurring with of this. people manage issues in numerous procedures the in person-friendly words enormous difference is frequently the jobs are reversed if there's a difficulty and it should be her on right here complaing about you. in person-friendly words suggestion i visit grant you with is enable her come round on her personal time and be careful now to not p*ss off the likely hormonal pregnant women individuals

Answer 9

Seriously... consider adoption!!! Do the right thing for your baby! There are hundreds of couples who are very ready to raise a child, but cannot concieve! Talk to your girl friend... figure out what is right... BUT MOSTLY.... KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS so this doesn't happen again with your next on/off girlfriend or anyone else until you are married.

Answer 10

...It doesn't matter if you weren't ready for a child, nor does it matter that you're not sure the relationship will last.

you should've been thinking about that before you had unprotected sex anyway.

but...you should be as involved with the child as possible..&& be as supportive of your pregnant gf as possible.

it takes TWO to make a baby, whether those TWO were ready or not, therefor, It should take TWO to raise a child, whether mom & dad are together and in a r'ship, or not. :]

Answer 11

I think everything happens for a reason. I had an unplanned baby too. At first you feel like that but just wait until the baby is born. Your life will change completely after that, a baby is just a bundle of joy.