No love making.?

Question

I've been with my boyfriend for 7yrs, so far, our relationship is okay, but there is no sign of marriage on his part and recently has no desire for love making. He's only 42 years old, but acts older. I thought it was another woman in his life, but so far from my detective spying, found nothing. He claims his body is not up for it anymore and doesn't desire it.
He also says that sex is not an important part of a relationship, but I beg to differ. My body is craving it and I asked him to satisy me other ways and he requested I buy a toy. I'm uncomfortable with that and I prefer the real thing. I don't mean to be cold, but I don't think I can continue my relationship with this man, even though he claims to love me. Is it wrong for me to walk away because of this one set back or should I just look out for myself and leave. I feel very frustrated and undesirable because of his problem.

Answer 1

I'm in the same boat. Being sexually compatible is a huge, huge thing that needs to be in a relationship. It is INCREDIBLY important, no matter what anyone says.

You should look out for yourself, or at the very least discuss this even moreso. If he's not even giving you attention once a month, then he's not worth it. You need someone with a similar drive, before you wind up getting a wandering eye.

And you are NOT undesirable. His reactions to you have nothing to do with yourself. You are probably a gorgeous woman in your own right, and don't let his lack of sexual drive let you think otherwise. If he won't work on it, then he's not willing to help you, and you need to move on.

And when I say I'm in the same boat, I mean it. I've been with my boyfriend for over 6 years now, and it's been the same problem for the past 5 years. Finally, I'm packing it up instead of letting myself become more depressed and have a horrible self-image. Do yourself a favour and help yourself.

Answer 2

trouble with these kinds of post is this,, No one says how his health is, over weight high blood pressure,, no exercise will cause very low testosterone levels, you can try to see if he will take L'Arginine, or get a physical, I would tell him you need the real thing ( although you are way missing out with a man and a toy, the combo is quite fun esp with a tongue in there,, )

The other question I would ask you is how often did you knock it out before, ,if you went from 7 times a week to nothing , then I would worry,, if it was twice a month,, should have seen none coming,,,

good luck

Answer 3

It is true that sex is not the most important thing in a relationship, though it can turn the balance of a relationship and even make it end. Your bf should pay attention to you, not because he has to but just simply beacuse he should. If he has a problem you should try to face it together, but perhaps he does not like you any more, among other possible answers. Try to understand the problem, but if he is stuck in the same place I say it is high time for you to think about you and about what is best for you!

Answer 4

I has been said, "Older men are best because they think they may be doing it for the last time." All seriousness aside here, some say "lovemaking is like a news bulletin: brief, unexpected and usually a disaster"....

So, with either of these ideas, you may wonder if your boyfriend is hiding some sort of disease from you, or maybe he just has reached his sexual "peak". I've heard it said that men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?

Answer 5

I would suggest some couseling. Maybe there is an experience he had before you and it just ruined his sexual disire. I am sure that even men and women in their eighties still do it even though we don't like to think so. So don't let him use his age as an excuse. My father is 45 and he is still very outward about his feelings towards the opposite sex lol. So no I think he is copping out for some reason and you either need to fiquire it out and find some way to fix or you need to move on to someone who is willing to satisfy your needs.

Answer 6

maybe we could help each other out, my gf also thinks its not very important and always askes if that what I always think about, but i crave it too, i thought about leaving her, cause I dont get my quality time enough with her. sounds like you in the same boat with your bf, I know it sucks cause it make you feel like you not wanted that way by them or your not important to them anymore. sorry you have to feel that way, I also thought it was another guy, but i havent found anything yet either. Well your not alone in this problem. I probably didnt answer your question or help u out in anyway but I feel better cause I got to get it out i guess lol.

Answer 7

I am kinda of in your shoes my husband's sexual drive isn't as high as mine and I feel constanly unsatisfy. We have been together for nine years and married for five years. I know he wouldn't cheat on me b/c of the type of person he is. He tells me that he is just so stressed with family and work and also he is just flat out tired. Yes I know sounds like a woman's excuse but we know since he started working out he has been more sexually.
Does he work out? Is he stressed by you, family life and work? Do you try to make things easier for him have the dinner made, clean house....? No I'm saying be a maid and slave to him but just do little things to make him want you more. Don't ask for it so much or pressure him.
Hope this helps

Answer 8

You have been with your boyfriend for 7 years and there is no marriage proposal in sight,. Also he has no sexual desire for you...Leave. This guy is not going to change and you are wasting your time with him. Find someone who is willing to give you what you want.

Answer 9

How long has this been going on? It could be that hes going through some situation that hes not telling you. Talk to him, go to counseling, just dont go because of that.

And BTW, sex isnt and important part of the relationship, intimacy is more important and that doesnt mean sex.

Answer 10

That's a hard one to answer. Unfortunately, I'm 27 and haven't had sex yet, so I can't give you advice. Kind of strange how I'm that old, and haven't done something so common in humanity, but have done things few others have, such as kill people in combat.