Weve been going out on and off for almost 3 yrs. And when things start to get to serious he goes and does something stupid. He doesnt want to tell me but i think hes scared of commitment..What do i do to help/make him want a commitment??? Or to make him feel better about commitment???
2007-03-16 07:11:12 · 17 answers · asked by lost_in_love_still 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sorry honey but there is nothing you can do to make him want a commitment, either he wants one or he doesn't. This on and off thing is ridiculous. You guys should just stick to being friends for a while. You are only setting yourself up for failure. You don't need a wishy washy boyfriend/relationship. Youre boyfriend doesn't want the same things you want and he does "stupid" things when he starts to get tired of it. Sounds like a game right? Cuz it is, only he's playing it with your life. Leave this loser alone for a while. Then he will decide if a commitment is the best thing for him
2007-03-16 07:17:17 · answer #1 · answered by First Lady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you know that he's scared of committment rather than just not interested in committment? There's a difference. Have you ever asked if about a committment? You may have to consider that you and your guy are in different places in your life and you two no longer have the same goals in mind about the relationship. You can't make someone who's been with you 3yrs want a committment, if he doesn't want one at this point. You can threaten to break up.. but giving an ultimate will only make him tell you what you want to hear, which will make either one or both of you miserable in the long run. If he doesn't want committment, then do your own thing until you find the guy who does. Focus on school or your career and do the things that add to your personal development.
Another thing, you said you were off and on for 3yrs. It seems like he hasn't been taking the relationship very seriously all this time. 3yrs is a long time. I fear you've been kidding yourself for a while now.
2007-03-16 07:22:24 · answer #2 · answered by Honey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a way people react. when they want 2 avoid
the question. After 3 yrs of being hammered on I'm surprised he still there.He doesn't seem 2 want 2 go any farther with you???So maybe you need 2 back away an let him come 2 you. Or find some 1 that wants what you want . If you pressure him he will never make a com====
Sorry been there done this. Your the 1 that will have 2 make a move .Just my thought.
2007-03-16 07:22:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a relationship for years off and on. He was also affraid of commitment. The best thing to do is to DROP him. It's not worth spending so much time and effort in someone who doesn't want to change and isn't going to change any time soon. You are missing out on a whole lot if you keep wasting your time. There is probably someone else out there that is willing to be in the type of relationship. YOU CANNOT CHANGE PEOPLE. They are the ones who choose to change. Don't waste your time trying to figure things out, if it hasnt' worked out in 3 years, it's not going to. Once you leave, you'll feel better about yourself, and he'll probably know what he's missing. Seems to me that you are staying with him because you already know him and you are scared of change. Let go, BE FREE!!
2007-03-16 07:25:04 · answer #4 · answered by YayaMami87 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to say this. You are at the end of your peak times of a relationship for the will you marry me stuff. At this point, if he is afraid to commit, it is time to end it. Do it before you invest your youth in a dream wedding that will not come and if it does due to pressuring him, it will not last. It never does. I would move on and I think you will find the right man for you, but look at guys 5-10 years older, they tend to be more mature than guys in your own age range. Good luck.
2007-03-16 07:16:25 · answer #5 · answered by raiderking69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most Men Are.......!!! Just remember that you will have the same issue with whoever you have as a back up in your mind ( unless he is divorced & has like 3 kids )
Don't rush things,patience is the key.Wait for finer moments for when you would want to talk to him about your future together with him.
Guys generally feel they will loose their independence once they are committed & any married man will vouch for that. So let him make up his mind before he takes the plunge.
2007-03-16 07:17:05 · answer #6 · answered by Radical 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There really is not anything you can do to make him not be afraid of commitment. My best advice would be that if he does not want the same things as you then move on. There is no sense in wasting your time with someone who is too afraid of commitment at this point in time. He has to learn himself and he will committ when he is finally ready.
2007-03-16 07:15:16 · answer #7 · answered by misfit1985 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many guys are scared of commitment just make sure you guide your heart
2007-03-16 07:16:24 · answer #8 · answered by MissDiva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With all respect, you can not make him want a commitment, that is something that people choose. To make him feel better about commitment.....commitment is with the heart and that is when it comes.
2007-03-16 07:33:38 · answer #9 · answered by gracie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a GOOD scare tell him that if that is the way he is going to be the so long if he really loves you he will come crawling back but dont go looking for him let him be the one to look for U Goo Luck
2007-03-16 07:16:23 · answer #10 · answered by kidi_69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋