okay I am getting married this coming April and this sunday we got several messages from our best man, he was all drunk and wasted saying he was in the hospital and my FI father got several messages from him that he got a girl pregnant. An hour later he called and said he was kidding. this isnt the first time he did something like this and him being the best man wasnt really our choice. while he was drunk he was saying how he was going coming to the wedding buzzed. My FI payed for his deposit on a tux and even got him out of jail a few times, he even picked him up at 3 somedays. So we told him we are sorry but we cant have him be the best man, now my FI grandma is not going to the wedding because of this. everytime, they get in a arguement, his grandma is alway on his brothers side. FI brother is also denied the whole thing and convince others not to come. we have saved the messages he has left. fi grandmother dont want us to come over either!!
2007-03-16 07:02:04 · 12 answers · asked by Newlywed 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Whatever! Screw them! You did your best to try and include everyone and this guy messed up. Get married how YOU want to get married. You don't want this joker to ruin your big day.
If any other loser family members want to sit at home in their underwear and throw themselves a pity party during your wedding, it's their fault and their problem, NOT yours! You tried! You're not a babysitter or a magician. You're a grown woman who is going to have an AWESOME wedding, with or without them!
Just avoid any further finger pointing and getting caught up in gossip or people bashing. If necessary, make it clear that the two of you have made your decision, calmly stating facts and explain how it makes you feel, because no one can argue with you how feel. Show them that you're sticking to your guns and that they need to respect your decision.
If your fiance's grandmother wants this guy to be the best man so much, tell her to get married.
2007-03-16 07:15:32 · answer #1 · answered by Biz 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
A drunk best man can really ruin a wedding. I know this from my own experience. I think Grandma is going to miss out on a beautiful occasion and regret it later. Very Sad. Your wedding is stressful enough you don't need this added. You deserve to not be worried that day about what might happen. Put this to the back of your mind and think happy wedding thoughts. It has got to be the most annoying thing in the world to be told who your best man is going to be or whatever others say is going to happen at "YOUR" wedding. My parents did that and I hated my wedding.
2007-03-16 09:05:34 · answer #2 · answered by Ladybugs77 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well from what it sounds like you didn't want this guy as your best man in the first place and with the actions he's had he shouldn't be in your wedding. There is no reason for any of the other family members to get upset over this. cause this is your wedding not thiers and there isn't a reason in the world that you should have to have someone in your wedding that you don't want or that is going to make your day miserable.
Most ministers wont marry anyone if even one member of the wedding party is blitzed or high and if that guy did that he'd only make the wedding worse. So I agree that you said you couldn't have him in the wedding and stick to it.
Good Luck
2007-03-16 07:56:49 · answer #3 · answered by WI Wedding Lady 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your FI father should intervene here and smooth things over and allow grandma to hear these messages. Because you know he'll make a scene and/or give a mortifying speech. Then again, he doesn't have to be best man to do that....
Grandma has no right throwing her weight around and dictate what happens at your wedding. If people don't come, they really don't care to be there anyways, so be it.
2007-03-16 07:30:18 · answer #4 · answered by Sandy Sandals 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so you 2 are being emotionally black mailled into honoring him as an important member of your wedding party? when you know he will ruin it?
he is a total lowlife, and his grandmother is the enabler. forget about them. They are jealous of your happiness. have your wedding--be happy, keep it with your own high standards, she apparantly doesn't love you guys very much.
she should never get involved between young people.
the people who really care will be there. you don't need to go visit her. Sounds like he is a relative, just make sure he doesn't come around in your life later, to mess things up and ask for $ . [forget about the deposit on the tux.]
2007-03-16 07:17:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
first let me say congratulations on your upcoming nuptials. I realize this is a very frustrating situation but you might try looking on the bright side .. the people who actually do make it to your wedding will truly want to be there and you wont have to deal with all the negativity on your special day. best of luck for many happy years
2007-03-16 07:08:53 · answer #6 · answered by simplyme 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is all nothing but a bunch of DRAMA. First off, once you choose a "best man" you can't change your mind regardless how the person acts. All of you should have chosen the mature way out of this by simply "talking" this out with the guy.
2007-03-16 07:33:12 · answer #7 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is YOUR wedding. dont let people try to tell you what to do. if they dont like the way you want your own wedding then they can either not go or deal with it. dont take crap from anyone.
2007-03-16 07:08:51 · answer #8 · answered by NAQ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell the grandmother it's your freaking wedding and you'll do what you want! If she doens';t want to coem, then say "Sorry, I would like to have you there, but I understand" and let her miss out.
2007-03-16 07:07:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
well it is kind of upsetting because you asked him to be the best man and than you took it back!! i think you already new what kind of prankster he was from the getty and you still asked so that is your guys bad i don't think i would come to your wedding either!!
2007-03-16 07:08:33 · answer #10 · answered by notyochic 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋