I don't fit in with my family...?

Question

I’m 18. I live with my father, mother and sister. My family and I work on different levels. I’m trying to be a “better” person, and although I may not have any clue what the means, or how to go about doing it, I’m trying. I have convictions. I ask “what is the truth”. They either say, “why put in effort to find something when things work now?”, or even worse, “there is no truth, or ignorance is bliss”. I can’t stand it any more. Things I find interesting to talk about, such as philosophy or religion, are the topics they have spent all their lives blocking out. They don’t say they hate me, because they don’t. However, they hate what I am. I can not, and will not, become like them. I understand they are not bad people. I truly believe all of us are at one point lost. It is understandable for them to be different from me, and to reject me. This is a cry for understanding. There is no help in this case. I just need to deal with it, and eventually find a new family.

Answer 1

I understand where you are coming from seeing I am in the same position. The fact that I am a geek and love to read books about history and I love to research they want me to lower my standards to their standards with random thoughts like Swiss cheese while they sit around worshiping the t.v. and the telephone etc etc. However, learning to overcome the rejection takes along time. It is in fact very painful and discriminatory. It is pretty much like schoolyard bullying. It is wise to find friends and support groups who are on the same intellectual basis as you are. Remember, there is a grieving process as well. Overcoming the grieving and the rejection is very hard. Especially if you are family oriented. You have to understand that you can not pick your family, but you can pick your friends. I am very sorry for your loss. I know how you must feel to be shunned and discriminated against by your own family because you different.

Answer 2

Stand by who you are. You are the one that will excel in this life. Everyone has a different path. You are with this family for a reason - try to find out that reason. Maybe you will learn something from them. Allow them to be who they are, as you want to be who you are. Find other like-minded people to discuss your thoughts with as your family never will understand. Just love them for who they are and have your beliefs. Join a group or even an online group of people who think like you do - there are several - good luck!!

Answer 3

While I think it is wonderful that you have chosen to "become a better person" I believe that part of that path includes learning not to judge others who do not share your viewpoints.

Just because you and your family members do not have philosophical, religious etc conversation does not mean that your future relationship with them in in jeopardy. Try to find a common ground with them and respect their wish not to discuss the topics you find interesting. Show them respect for their opinions and hopefully they will return the favor.

Please remember that they are not rejecting YOU. Just your point of views. There is a big difference.

For the kind of discussions that you crave, i suggest finding a group of friends with common ideals, who like to debate the points that you do.

Good luck!

Answer 4

listen to your jimmney cricket!! you are asking the first of so many questions and living life the way YOU think is right will revial YOUR answers. life is full of questions....we find our selves in situations that confuse us, hurt us and many times seem so unfair but because you have made the choice to be a "better" person you will come out of it stronger, smarter, and happier and then you will have your answer. we question the things that we are face to face with because we know deep in our sole (jimmney cricket) that something is not right, and there will be times where it seems everyone is against you and your all alone and thats when you make YOUR choice. GOD IS REAL thats why you have the diser to become a better person. i bleave we are all born with it (maybe not) and we as adults have to choose....everyday. to me being a better person is being kind, being selfless, being open minded (who are we to judge if we have not walked a day in their shoes), being greatful for everything good or bad (something may seem bad at the time but when the test of faith is over the peace is so sweet). have faith in your jimmney cricket thats what keeps us innicont. bleave that things happen for a reasion even though we dont understand at the time and if you make a choice that you bleave deep down in your sole is the right thing to do god will help you thru it all you have to do is keep your faith. you are smart for opening your mind to new ideas....

Answer 5

I would guess that your ideas on philosophy and religion aren't something they hate, but probably just something that they don't understand. Not everybody is capable of grasping philosophy...so you may just interpret their ignorance on the subject as hate. Everyone on this earth is different, with their own thoughts, own religious beliefs, own ways of living. Stand strong and don't try to change who you are. Just understand that your family shouldn't change who they are either. I wish you peace and self-confidence.

Answer 6

Do not blame them for your unhappiness... This is a way of deflecting something in your personal experience that is making you unhappy. You can not EVER make anyone else responsible for your happiness or sadness or any other emotion you may or may not have. You are the ONLY one that can make you sad, you are the ONLY one that can make you happy. Remember, where ever you go, there you are. You may leave your home, but you will take with you your suffering.... Try reading some Taoist or Buddhist teachings, you may enjoy it...... The race of life is a long one, and in the end it is only with yourself.

Answer 7

Everyone feels this way. No one feels like they fit in. I advise you to seek the help of a counselor or pastor or priest.

Answer 8

I feel the same way. Just dont let them change you.