I have been dating this woman for about 5 months now. She is the first woman ever that I am crazy , head over heals about. I am in my fortys and have never been married. I have I very sketchy love history. I have sabatoged virtually every reltionship ever. Until now. I have cheated on some of my ex's with their best friends and I even slept with one of their mothers. Really messed up stuff( jerry springer crap). My girlfriend told me all about her sexual history and wanted me to do the same. I finally decided to tell her everything. I am very sorry about my past and have been working hard on being a new man so it felt good to tell her. I think it is safe to say she was beyond shocked. She was shocked by the # of woman I had been with but mostly by my behaior while in relationships. SHe can't believe I was like that. It has her second guessing things between us.
2007-03-16 06:48:57 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
why oh why do people have to go into their personal life history with new people in their lives? I don't do it & don't like it done to me....why would I want to know mycurrent b/f's past sex life & why would he want to know mine?
Quite honestly honey, I know this sounds hard an all, but....she asked the question, she got told the answer, she'll have to deal with that now, not a lot you can do unless she's prepared to stick around & find out for herself really....perhaps she wanted to hear that you've been sitting on a shelf all these years just waiting for her to come along......
2007-03-16 06:58:41 · answer #1 · answered by Funky 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow! You have quite a history! You can't blame your girl for being wary of your scandalous history. In your own words you said Jerry Springer-type behavior. After finding out about all your betrayals she's wondering when the roof is going to come crashing down on her world. Words really mean nothing in the long run. Just live each day with honesty and integrity. Show her with actions that you are committed to her and your beautiful life together. Remind her that the past is the past and that she is your future. Show her that you wouldn't jeopardize your future together by making foolish choices. Little by little she'll believe in you again. She's probably just in shock at the moment.
2007-03-16 06:54:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already were given maximum of your homework executed, you in simple terms favor some different person to push you alongside. Being possessive or overly connected will make the courting more advantageous annoying. If she loves you too, then you definitely could no longer go away her as that ought to point no longer respecting her emotions. do no longer shop on telling her that there are more advantageous powerful adult adult males than your self as she ought to get the hint that you do not favor her. If there aren't any criminal implications, then i advise that you nonetheless cherish her. Age isn't the No. a million criteria even as Love is in touch. the thanks to get over those emotions.. Write down on a paper why you should proceed the courting, each of the strong valuable factors. examine them 2 or 3 circumstances an afternoon. After some weeks, it is going to artwork its way into your sub-concious and also you do not have those inferior emotions anymore.
2016-11-26 00:07:48 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to do anything. She will either believe you or not. If she does, she will watch you carefully for a while, but these are the times you are building a relationship anyway, so she will either drop you or come to an understanding. If she can't cope, feel lucky, you didn't get to emotionally and socially invested in such a shallow person. Plus, I had to tell my wife when she asked, but we were only friends then, so she made her decision with the knowledge.
2007-03-16 06:55:43 · answer #4 · answered by raiderking69 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Friends have been in situations like this (the one feeling insecure, not the one who did things in the past). I would say that the only thing to do, is that no matter how much you reassure her, there is nothing that you can say to make her feel better. The only thing that you can do is act the way you say you will. Actions speak louder than words. Only through time and positive actions will she eventually come to believe you.
Good luck!
2007-03-16 06:53:06 · answer #5 · answered by yukidomari 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to reassure he would be to show her how much you love her and care about her, and how much you have changed. Telling her is not going to make her believe you, but when she sees how committed you are to her and how much you care about her then she will have to believe it. It's the little things that matter that matter the most to women. Cook her a nice dinner, or get her flowers, or draw her a bubble bath, or watch her favorite movie with her.... Actions speak louder than words. Good luck!
2007-03-16 06:55:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi James. You can't reassure a woman just by saying, "Hey, Babe, I've changed." You have to show her. You have to make the good/right decision every time. You have to answer her questions honestly - every time. If she really means as much to you as you say -- you will not have a problem with telling her where you are going and with who, etc. She needs to know that she can really trust you and you aren't going to bed her friends or her mother. Show her how you feel about her -- everyday. Best of luck!
2007-03-16 06:55:34 · answer #7 · answered by Giselle 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow, you let the skeleton out of the closet, trying to do the right thing/turning over a new leaf being honest...committed to the relationship. Honestly, can you really blame the girl, she now knows your past and it appears you left scars on many women. I would say you will continue to have to prove "this change/transformation in to a good guy) yourself over and over again. If it is true and you have changed I hope she will see this and give you a chance. Good luck to you.
2007-03-16 06:55:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well you will have to let her build her trust up. After hearing something like that I imagine it will take some time for that to happen I know for myself it would anyways. As for reassuring her you can keep telling her not to worry but actions speak louder then words so give it sometime and prove yourself. Good luck!
2007-03-16 06:53:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When people ask questions that they probably don't want the honest answers to I always ask if they *really* want an answer to that question. Honesty in a relationship is important, but some things are best left in the past.
2007-03-16 06:53:49 · answer #10 · answered by Clown Knows 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋