work no time for kids HELP PLEASE IM DESPRATE?

Question

I have 2 boys; 4 and 2 1/2 I have a full time job in aerospace that is really DEMANDING i mean i work 6 days a week about 9-10 hours a day, and when i get home i have to clean feed them bathe them, ect....

they spend more time in day care then with me, I feel so terrible like im missing out on there lives and i dont want to be the parent that is always at work and they always are on their own but i have to work cause I NEED THE MONEY or i cant support us , what can i do
i cant quit
i cant work less as it is t seems like i dont work enough

any suggestions
is this happening in every home?

i feel awfull

Answer 1

First off--you are working a demanding job with a very nice salary. Don't tell me you're living pay check-to-pay check!

1) You need to decide what is more important to you--family or work. You need to make a decision if you should change jobs. You say that you CAN'T change a job due to financial reasons is not making sense to me. You're making at least $50K/year. If that's not enough to live on, you need to move, sell cars, and stop using credit.

2) You need to find time for you kids. YOU need to decide if your kids are more important or working is more important. There are ALWAYS less stressful jobs out there. ALWAYS.

Answer 2

Give yourself a break. You are doing the best you can with what you have, that's all anyone can expect. So my advice. First examine your priorities. Do you need the money to pay the neccessary bills or is their a lot of extra? I used to think that providing my children with the best of everything was what they needed. I worked 10-11 hour days, and so did my husband. We have more recently started to go for the simpler things in life. We realized that we don't need the biggest house, best cars, nicest clothes, or the most recent technological things. We can survive and thrive without them. We try to spend more time with our kids instead of buying more for them. They will remember that more than the name brand clothes when they grow up.
If you can't shave anything from your budget, then just spend time with your kids whenever you can. Play with them whenever you get the chance. Make bath time, bedtime, and meals fun for them. They will remember you for the loving moments you spend with them whether it's all day or 10 minutes a day.

God grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Answer 3

It's very tough to balance work, children, maintaining home, and some personal time for youself.
Prioritize as best you can - obviously the housework should be ranked low (could a maid service once a week be feasable?)
In regards to your kids - I think the trick is to make quality time with your kids (because the quantity is just not an option for you right now). Even if it's just 1/2 hour during the day - try to plan something for just you and the kids like a special game, reading time, dancing to music, out for a walk etc.

Answer 4

My heart goes out to you.

What you are going through is my biggest fear about becoming a parent. I am not sure if I want to have children. My fiance definitely wants them, and expects me to keep working when we do. I am concerned about what will happen to my children while I am at work. I don't see the point in having them if we are not going to raise them ourselves.

My advice to you is to think long and hard about your priorities. I think that you will feel worse in the long run about the time you are missing with your children than any monetary gain from spending time away from them.

You say you can't quit your job, but if you really want to spend more time with your children, you may need to give your life an overhaul. Where is all your money going? If you didn't have to pay for daycare, how much money would you save?

Is it possible to move to a more affordable area, to sell your car to get rid of a car payment and pay cash for another one, to stop your daily Starbucks coffee, or cancel your cell phone coverage?

Consider if there is another career that may make you enough money to live, but with less demanding hours. Can you find something where you can work from home?

I know I am being an idealist, but I think everyone gets too caught up in thinking they have to make x amount of money, and have so many things instead of time for themselves and their family.

Good luck to you, and I hope this helps! :)

Answer 5

I know how you feel I was a single mom had to work full time and sometimes i felt like I didn't have time for my boy but what I did was try to make the little things as specials as possible bath time dinner time and bedtime
do little things that will be fun for the kids such as at bath time put them in their bathing suits and play beach even if only for short time at dinner have a picnic on the living room floor on a blanket and at bed time cuddle with teddies and read a couple stories or sing sons only takes about 15 minuits also sometimes I would have a sleepover in the living room sleeping bags and marshmellows so just make what tome you have doing the mundain things fun trust me they will remember the little things

Answer 6

I know every working parent struggles with the amount of time to spend with their kids, but I think you are right to be concerned given the amount of hours you put in. If you can't afford to work less or a different job, then I suggest re-assessing your cost of living. Where you live? How much housing is? Food? Cost for daycare/school? How you live? What you spend your money on in your free time? It might be that you need to shuffle things up so you can afford to have a job that pays less, but allows you to spend more time with your family. Don't be rash, but do some budget calculating. What is your priority? Right now it sounds like your job is taking precedence...
Of course, I don't know all the details - do you spend time with them in the evenings? weekends? Are you raising them or letting them be raised by daycare? I'm not talking 24/7, but who is imputting the most into their development?

Answer 7

You have one day off every week, right? Designate it as "family day" and dedicate the whole day to spending time with your family. Go bowling, to the park, swimming, chuck e cheese, have a picnic, go to the lake, play a game together, there are endless options. Also, you have a good job, so if you get a week vacation once a year, go somewhere real special. Save up your money throughout the year and go to disneyworld, beaches, or somewhere else real fun. The point here is when you get a chance to spend time with your kids, make it special and memorable, dedicate it all to them. Hope this helps.

Answer 8

Can you downsize the way you live so you can get a less demanding job, or cut down on your hours? Maybe get a smaller house, older car, cut back on the extras - if you are already as cut back as you can get - what about your kids dad - is he in the picture? Can you get more financial support from him? Can you get help with your boys - maybe someone who can get them fed and bathed at night so that when you come home you can give them your undivided attention??
If you are going to look back on this with regret, you have to do whatever it takes to be home more.

Answer 9

Over here in the European Union there is a law that states that working more than 48 hours per week is a health and saefty hazard as well as an infrigement of workers rights.

I would suggest trying to see if you can reduce your hours, or seeing if there may be some legal helo to get it reduced.

Or alternativily start looking for another job.

Answer 10

You may not be able to just walk up to your boss today and quit, but you can start to formulate a plan to do so. People can live on very little money when they need to. Just evaluate what your family really needs and find ways to cut out the extras. Move into a smaller house (in a cheaper part of the country even), drive an older model car, find free activites to do together. People make sacrifices. People find new jobs. Not everyone out there is working themselves to death.