Hello. I come from a HUGE family and I am the youngest cousin on both sides.I know most of my cousins on my dads side but I have honestly probably never talked to any of them in my life. I have probably met only 2-3 cousins out of probably 30 on my moms side. I am by far the youngest and this is why there has always been such a gap in communication. The youngest cousin besides me is 6 years older than me and he got married a few years ago and all of my siblings were invited, I was not.
So, this leads to a dilemna. I am having just a reception because we are getting married out of state. We want a small reception with just immediate family and friends. I am fine with inviting my aunts and uncles but would they be offended if I didnt invite their children? I was thinking of saying something like; "Please tell your children they are invited also" to the invites for my aunts/uncles, but not actually sending my cousins invites. Would that be tacky? Should I just exclude them all together?
2007-03-16 06:45:28 · 30 answers · asked by snailysnal 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Hum that is tricky. As you are the youngest though I'm guessing the children come with children of their own and it could become a huge gathering if you aren't careful. I'd just invite the aunts and uncles and leave it at that. If they contact you and ask about the cousins you can just explain that you only had room for a certain number of people, and presumably your partner has family too, so you had to make some sacrifices. Most people planning weddings have to make similar choices. Occasionally people get offended but I'm sure they will get over it in time.
2007-03-16 06:52:31 · answer #1 · answered by gerrifriend 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband has a HUGE family and I only have 5 first cousins so I know where you are coming from. We've been married over 28 years and during that time many of his cousins have gotten married without us getting an invitation. We were never hurt, because as you have said, we didn't socialize with these people. Invite the aunts and uncles and those others who are close to you.
Good Luck
2007-03-16 13:57:26 · answer #2 · answered by Rox 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since your cousins are adults, they deserve their own invitation, not a roundabout invitation via their parents. However, it's perfectly all right if you don't invite your cousins, or invite only some cousins, especially since you were not invited to all of their weddings.
Send the invites to your aunts/uncles, and then call them a few weeks to "make sure they received the invitation." Then, while you're chatting with them, you can mention how you want a small reception with immediate family and friends, and that's why you didn't invite your host of cousins. Since they are family, they will probably be very understanding of this.
2007-03-16 14:12:00 · answer #3 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi! We had a small reception similar to what it sounds like you would like to have. We only invited parents, grandparents, our brothers and sisters and their children, aunts and uncles and older cousins. I didn't send invitations to the younger 2nd cousins who we didn't invite. To answer your question directly, I do think it would be tacky to put "please tell your children they are invited also" because if they were truly invited they should get separate invitations. That would also make it confusing for you because you wouldn't actually know how many people you have coming since the tacked on invitation for the cousins is kind of informal they might leave you hanging for a final head count. Good luck with everything and Congratulations!
2007-03-16 14:01:35 · answer #4 · answered by pinkduck 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off you should realize this is your day and if you feel like having a small reception then that is exactly what you should do...and if you hurt someone feelings then they have to deal with that....and when you send the invites it will just be to the parents and if the question comes up then you give an answer that you really wanted this to be a personal reception but you are open to inviting the whole family to the actual ceremony
2007-03-16 13:54:01 · answer #5 · answered by Gemini P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send invitations only to them. My biggest regret with my wedding was all the people that I felt I "had" to invite for the parents sake or the grandparents sake. In the end it is your wedding and just because they are related that does not mean that you know them. I have cousins I have never met or haven't seen since I was little. I could not pick them out in a crowd. Why would you invite strangers to your wedding anyway? If you do not know them, your fiancee does not know them, then they are strangers that just happen to be related to you in some way. Simply state if questioned, that you really felt that the reception was a celebration for all the people that have been there and been supportive of your relationship.
2007-03-16 14:51:09 · answer #6 · answered by Lillianne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The general rule of etiquette is that any child over the age of 18 who is invited should receive a separate invitation.
You are not obligated to invite your cousins, although you should also remember that you can't invite one or a few of them without inviting all of them. I also had a very small reception when my husband and I were married, with only close family. I did not invite any of my cousins because there are just too many of them.
2007-03-16 14:19:29 · answer #7 · answered by Biz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be alright to just invite the aunts and uncles. Put something on the invitation about a small reception with immediate family and friends. Most people will understand.
2007-03-16 13:49:43 · answer #8 · answered by fly guy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Family is always tough. Only you know your situation. But I would say invite everyone. You should be the bigger person. And show them what kind of person they have been missing out on. I say extend to your cousins, and send them invitations too. Whatever you do, do not include a message about it on your aunt and uncles invites.
2007-03-16 13:55:42 · answer #9 · answered by S4tisf4ctionz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, think of it this way - so they didn't invite you to the last wedding - YOU got out of having to buy a gift!
If you invite each cousin, they either may honor you with their presence... or they may not... but we were amazed how many people sent a card or gift instead!!!
I know it's not all about gifts, but my husband and I were really poor when we started out and we really appreciated it even if somebody just sent a card, nice wishes, or at best a gift!
And some people are so petty that they will be offended anyway if you don't invite them, regardless of the fact they didn't invite you. Go figure. I'd send em all invitations - what will it cost you - a few cents each???
2007-03-16 14:29:17 · answer #10 · answered by Angie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋