My daughter gets larger every day..she knows she is largely overweight, but does not want to deal with it.?

Question

I am now getting concerned. There is no doubt that her calorie intake is much higher than her outtake. She is a great girl, but is now looked upon different as her weight grows. She has a five year old son, good family support, but cannot seem to take the initiative to do anything about this. She seems confident in her own skin, but complains about not feeling well all the time, which puts her in the horizontal 'mode'..she works a couple of days a week, takes her boy to his functions, does moderate housework and cooking, but has no further ambition...HELP!

Answer 1

wow... thats hard.

have you tried talking to her and coming from the angle of how her obesity will affect her son? I mean, its pretty well known that being really overweight can shorten your lifespan and lead to diseases like type 2 diabetes. Most parents want to be there for their children as long as possible.

Just try and give her support and help her in a positve way. Good luck

*******

Answer 2

Sounds to me like maybe she has some depression issues. Did she just come out of a bad relationship? Maybe she is doing the subconscious weight gain to keep from getting hurt again. A lot of woman do that to protect themselves from disappointment through relationships.
Has she had any blood work done with a doctor? Maybe she is feeling crappy because of thyroid or hormone issue. Sometimes when either one of the two are out of whack it can leave a person feeling down or fatigued.
I know you really want more for her (health & happiness), but this is really on her. All that you can do at this point is bring up the possibilities and see if she runs with it. I know the weight is what you see....but it is probably deeper than that. You can gently bring it up to her without crushing her ego by expressing your concern for her constantly not feeling well.

Answer 3

I agree with some of the above postings...If she doesn't want to, it's probably not going to happen.

Your job..try and motivate her.

An idea might be to have a contest. Each of you put $1-$2(or more) a day into a container. Whoever loses the most for the week or month or whatever gets the cash. You can involve others too which only adds more and more motivation to work off the weight! :)

Answer 4

Looks to me that her problem is not overweight, it’s desire to do things.

Most of the problems come from lack discipline. People in general don’t have the discipline or REAL desire to do things. People that complain are people who know that they can do it, they just don’t really want to, so they complain.

I think all you can do is to tell her you love her and if she really wants help you will be glad to provide it to her. Also, try not to be judgmental it usually does not help.

At the end it’s her decision, she is an adult now, and if she wants do eat you can’t stop her. All you can do is to tell her how you really feel and inform her that you are willing to help as soon as she is ready to help herself.

-J

P.S. the problem of overweight is not lack of exercise it’s the food consumption and type of foods. For example a little trick like a two glasses of water right before diner and lunch will yield grate results in less then a month (providing she does not snack between main meals).

Answer 5

If your daughter lives with you, you have some control over what she will do. If she lives on her own, there is not much you can do except to be there for her. If she says she is not feeling well, there is something going on that needs tob e looked at! Lack of ambition can be a glandular problem or depression. Seek to find the cause and pursue treatment for that.

Answer 6

You have to ask yourself this: does she want to lose weight, or do YOU want her to? There are ways to be healthy at any weight. I would be more concerned about her complaints of not feeling well. Love her unconditionally and don't pressure her about it. Her body is her choice, and if/when she wants help, hopefully she can feel she has a parent that will listen and help in a non-judgemental way.

Answer 7

Because she seems to have low energy and ambition, she should have her thyroid hormone levels checked. Persons with low thyroid can also be depressed. But an underactive thyroid alone is not the cause of your daughter's obesity. It sounds as if she has low self-esteem.

Answer 8

maybe she just needs to have a workout and diet buddy so she dosent feel alone and gives her support too. you could start by going on a daily walk with her for about 30minutes and some moderate home exercises. Read tips & articles on different types of diets, exercise programs, yoga & much more....

All about weight loss, weight watchers, Tea diets, easy home exercises to name a fewy going on a daily long walk with her.

Answer 9

why don't you ask her to be your walking buddy. tell her YOU are trying to get healthy and need someone to help keep you on track. she can even bring her son. start off small, just 20 minutes of walking, and build up your time. do it somewhere fun the first couple of times, like a neighborhood park, zoo, botanical garden. there is little you can do to change her mind about HER state, but maybe she will agree to help you with yours... and get some side benefits from it, of course!

Answer 10

Maybe she is going through a tough time. Has she separated from bf or Husband? maybe she is depressed. Talk to her and let her talk all she wants and just listen DON'T JUDGE. But if she is comfortable with the way she is then let her be.