Adopt a child or conceive ?

Question

Hi,

Please go thru it and give us a valuable advice.

My husband and me are looking to adopt a girl child,who is of about 3 to 4 years.
The main reason for adopting a kid is that I am 34 years old and my husband is
40 years old.

we both were divorcees and i have no kids from the previous marriage,
and my husband had 2 boy kids,who are of 9 years and 5 years old now.
They both are staying with their mother and she does not want to give the kids to my
husband.

we would like to seek the advice, whether this is the age for us to conceive now also
what we are thinking is whether can we grow the child properly, as we become aged,before they get
settled in life, assuming that if they are 25 ,my husband will be of 65 and me about 60 as
we are better aware that the average life span is reducing.so,what will u suggest,
is it better to conceive of our own or to adopt a girl child of about 3 to 4 years.

Answer 1

Adopt a 4-5 year old girl

Answer 2

I think you maybe should try and have a child on your own first, otherwise I think you might regret it later. I know there are a lot more risks the older you get but I don't think you should let that stop you, you only live once after all =)! My parents got me when mom was 39 and dad was 42. I'm now 20, and even though they haven't been as active as my friends parents when I grew up I don't feel I've missed out on anything. If you are concerned about not being able to have quality time with your husband bacause you have to take care of a child I don't think 3 to 4 years makes much difference compared to if you would "start from scratch". Think about how you will feel later on in life if you don't have a child of your own. If you truly feel it doesn't matter then go ahead and adopt, but since you asked this question I gather you're not sure. Do what feels right for you =)!

Answer 3

Adoption isn't as hard as most people think it is and there are a lot of valuable resources out there for people who choose to adopt. If you are interested in it, there are kids who need families and you're a family who needs a kid... it seems like a great match.

Also if you adopt, you'll be able to adopt a girl, which it sounds like you want, while pregnancy gives you a 50/50 chance.

Just so you know, my sister, 38 this year, had a son 3 years ago and both did fine with the delivery and are healthy. She was around your age at pregnancy, so please do not think that you are unable to have children just because of your age. I am just an adoption advocate :)

Answer 4

I think it is very noble and generous of you to consider adoption.

Actually, the average life span is increasing, and people are waiting longer to conceive, so that doesn't seem like a reason not to have a biological child.

If you could love an adopted child as much as a biological one, I think it would be wonderful if you could give a child a better life than the one it started out with.

The adoption process can be heartbreaking and disappointing, but so could a miscarriage.

Have you considered adopting a child and trying to conceive? There's no reason to not try for both!

Good luck to you and your family with any decision you make, and I hope this helps! :)

Answer 5

i would say either is a good option as long as the two of you are both in good health. adopting is good because there are a lot of children who don't get adopted and sadly once they are past 'baby' stage people are less likely to adopt them. one advantage to adopting is that you get to choose the sex of your child and you also don't have to go through being pregnant and giving birth. but if you want one of your own many women are having children at older ages now. (heck even madonna had one at age 42) so i guess you really have to decide what is better for you because i don't see a reason you shouldn't be able to have one of your own or not to adopt. both seem as though they are good options for you. best of luck with whatever you decide!

Answer 6

nicely in psychology i'm reading developmental psychology on the prompt, and one con that no individual else has reported is the developmental delays that many followed little ones face. relying on how old the youngster is at the same time as followed there are an finished form of developmental topics--minor to severe in nature-- arise. there's a clarification why human beings want to undertake babies; the more youthful they're the a lot less human interplay they have ignored. "in a unmarried study researchers said the style of a huge pattern of youthful ones transferred between delivery and three.5 years from truly deprived Romanian orphanages to adoptive households in tremendous Britain. On arrival, maximum were impaired in all area names of progression. by ability of the preschool years, capture-up in actual length replaced into dramatic. Cognitive capture-up, inspite of the actuality that still mind-blowing, replaced into no longer as tremendous for little ones followed after 6 months of age. And the longer babies were institutionalized, the more serious and continual their defectsts" (Berk, p. 126) I agreee that adoption gives you houses to little ones who despertly favor it, yet i imagine human beings ought to note, and prepared for the more beneficial care that raising an followed infant may recommend. I actually have study some terrible articles about this kind of households 'giving up' on their followed little ones because they basically won't be able to take care of them. that they had this fairy tale dream of the proper infant, and so were thoroughly unprepared for the actuality of a young person requiring huge remedy to maximum superb the developmental delays brought about by ability of early ignore. i have idea about adoption in my destiny, yet I now do not ignore that it is not a duty entered into gently and that adoptive dad and mom favor to have sensible expectations about followed little ones.

Answer 7

You can do either, lord know there are lots of kids who need a good home.