Yom Kippur...what is the correct response?

Question

I hope this question is not too ignorant and does not offend.

When I was in high school, one day in September, just after school started, a boy who was quite mean, and whom I did not like, suddenly walked up to me in the hall way, saying he had to talk to me, and apologized for how poorly he had treated me in the previous year. I had no idea what this was all about, and just shrugged it off. For the remainder of the year, he continued being a jerk to me and everyone else. This led me to believe he was not sincere, and merely "messing with my head" in a very cruel way.

As I grew older, and wiser in the ways of the world and other faiths, I learned that at Yom Kippur, the day of atonement, adherents of Judaism apologize to all those whom they have offended in the previous year.

My high school "pal" was in fact Jewish,as I recalled, and then it clicked.

What is the correct response to this religious obsequy? Does one merely accept the apology with "thank you," how?

Answer 1

Forgiveness is the best possible action to undertake with utmost sincerity.

Answer 2

Belonging to the Jewish faith means we must follow certain mitzvahs (commandments on how we should live our lives and treat others with kindness and respect) year round...its really sad this boy did not learn and follow that. We can not walk around acting like he did and expect forgiveness from others simply because it is Yom Kippur. Forgive the pun, but it is not kosher...

Your part is to accept the apology and leave them be. You would not want to sink to their level by retaliating or by responding with a snide remark. Be the better person. When they are older they will learn the errors of their way.

By the way...this goes for everyone...too many people use their personal religions as an excuse for ill behavior.

Answer 3

True. Yom Kippur atones for the sins between man and G-d, but not for the transgressions between people. Thus, we ask forgiveness from those we have hurt as Yom Kippur approaches.
As for the correct response, it is always best to be honest and tell your friend what you think of his hurtful actions. This conversation may actually motivate him to change his behavior, which is the essence and the reason for the aforementioned religious requirement.

Answer 4

According to Jewish teachings, God doesn't forgive sins against other people on Yom Kippur unless you sincerly ask the person for forgiveness. If they refuse, you have to ask at least three seperate times..
I think the key word here is 'sincerly'. If a person doesn't really intend to change their behavior, and just wants to get off the hook for Yom Kippur, it doesn't work. As the Talmud puts it, "A person who says 'I will sin and repent' is not forgiven".
Of course, we are taught that if you are forgiving with people, God will be more lenient with you. However, I don't think it would be required in this case.
If you really want to an exact answer, then, as my teacher likes to put it, you need to Consult Your Local Orthodox Rabbi.

Answer 5

Although I think she was rather forward, from your telling she was not rude or abusive.I think telling her she was depraved and should be ashamed was a bit over the top. Actually, I think it was a lot over the top. If she had been rude, yelling and/or screaming or telling you that you would surely burn in Hell if you did not accept Christ, then it would have been appropriate to meet her rudeness with rudeness. When people approach me in the manner you described her approach to you I simply say "No. Good day" and go on my merry little way. Unfortunately, since you said what you did in what you call "slightly louder than necessary" in front of a street that was "mobbed with early summer tourists" it made you look foolish and did nothing to really help the situation except possibly make her more determined to "help" people like us who find behavior like hers unnecessary. Personally, I find what she did to be irritating and annoying and what *you* did to be inappropriate and offensive. Sorry, no star but better luck when you will undoubtedly have to deal with a situation like this again. The crazies are everywhere!!!!!! ***She was not running around naked or trying to beat on people. She may have been pushy but not to the extent to deserve your rude reaction. I live in the Pacific NW of the USA BTW.....we tend to be a little more laid back and accepting than some other parts of the world apparently*****

Answer 6

yes-and yet wait a moment to answer-often when we answer fast even to an oppology we oppologize for making them mean-when the issue is heart to heart-to help

my Jewish people need prayer -we have no blood atonement for Yom Kippur-and when we come to Jesus our Messiah and atonement -we go around and get the past right -not for a good deed-but because we love the Messiah and he wants us to love others as we love ourself-not just not be mean. Isaiah 52:13-53:12 clearly shown the Messiah Jesus there

Answer 7

You choose to accept or not accept the same as any other apology you might receive. Because it is atonement should have no bearing on your acceptance or denial. If you feel it is sincere, accept the apology. If you don't feel it is sincere and don't want to accept it, let them know you don't feel it is sincere. Your choice.

Answer 8

Apology was only part of the equation. He must also demonstrate that he won't do it again, and he should have asked for your forgiveness at least three times. Did you forgive him? If you don't forgive him, then you too must face God's judgment.
.

Answer 9

I wouldn't accept the apology unless the person meant it and corrected their wrong behavior. Why would I let them "say sorry" if it's only words and they're only doing it out of religious obligation for one day?

Answer 10

I would say yes.

And try and encourage him to live every day so as to be pleasing to God (and when Yon Kippur comes, he will have nothing to apologize for).