I've been dating a guy for a couple months. We are very compatible and always have fun when we're together. However, he'll be attentive and proactive in making plans for a couple weeks but then he seems to pull away. He never goes away completely but his level of interest seems to go up and down. We are extremely compatible and have similar goals and values...it seems all the ingredients are there for a long-term relationship. The problem is that we're having trouble building momentum as he pulls away just when we're on the verge of getting past dating and getting into a relationship. He's 38 and his dating history is a string of short term relationship...none have lasted more than a year. So what's the deal? Should I just move on, have a conversation with him to find out what he's thinking, be more patient and give it more time to develop....or some other option?
2007-03-16 06:04:36 · 6 answers · asked by Montana 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
yeah, he has issues... give him some ulitmatums, they might work in his case, as he needs direction.
2007-03-16 06:09:17 · answer #1 · answered by Pedro Sanchez 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kind of agree although there are still people that are reluctant to commit. I'm being a bit like that at the moment. There is this girl that keeps bothering me and clearly (people also tell me) likes me. I'm being as distant as possible to get the message across that I'm not interested but she won't let up...I shouldn't have slept with her basically. I was stupid. Then there is this girl Claire that I keep getting with on nights out (and there are a lot of those happening at the moment, first term of uni). I don't want anything exclusive or committed with her but she keeps finding me in the clubs. So there you go, an example of a bad person. Me. I just want to have fun, I don't want a relationship. Not with these girls anyway, there is another girl I like but I always get writer's block (in regard to speech) around her. It's annoying the way I always clam up around the girl I like, it's so tantalizing that I always get with other girls and never her. Sorry. You probably think I'm horrible. My defence is that this is what people do at the beginning of university. As for being "stalker-ish", this stems from men being the ones that are supposed to do the asking out and approaching. That's my interpretation of this term anyway, if you mean stalkerish as in watching them from a tree with binoculars while they undress then I don't think I agree.
2016-03-29 01:46:24 · answer #2 · answered by Lori 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like he has a commitment problem if u really like him give him time maybe he was hurt in the past relationships find out why his relationships are so short and if it's his fault try to help him fix the problem ...show him that u care for him and that u are willing to start a real relationship with him.....if he still acts that way then maybe u should move on ....u can never change someone especially if they are stubborn they will have to change there selves.
2007-03-16 06:19:24 · answer #3 · answered by mrs. MJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a commitment problem. Get too close then pull away. If you want a for sure relationship you have the wrong man.
2007-03-16 06:08:51 · answer #4 · answered by luckford2004 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am no expert on relationships however i think you should talk to him. be honest with him about what you are thinking and feeling. i was also seeing this guy on occasion for the past couple of months and he was also very up and down. he wanted to spend time with me...then started to pull away. i ended up asking him WTF. he said that he wasn't ready to get attached to anyone right now. i am starting to see this pattern with most men i run across. so i don't know? just be careful with your heart and know that if you want something he can't give then let him go!!!!!
2007-03-16 06:15:37 · answer #5 · answered by veggirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Date other guys and see if you still want him. If he throws a fit, and his ego will probably make him act like a baby, just tell him you want to really be sure HE is the right one for YOU.
2007-03-16 06:09:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋