My Grandmother has been sick for a while, she has a bit of dimentia. I cant take the stress I feel. Its like I know that one day I am going to loose her but I dont know how to handle it. I moved away a year or so ago, she lives with my mom and step dad. But they both work at night and we dont have any help, so I stay with her a couple of days during the week and my sister stays one day. I see that they dont stress as much as I do, can anybody give me some comforting advice and how to handle this situation. My feel that I dont have a personal life, I feel that I dont give any attention to my fiance and I am always worried, stressed and I am starting to feel sick. Please give me some advice. Thank You.
2007-03-16 05:42:35 · 4 answers · asked by indiradelmar57 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
contact your local community care office. they have support groups that help caregivers with support and information on caring and living with an ill relative. You may also be able to find respite support to take some of the stress off you and your family so you can also take care of yourselves.In a situation like yours taking care of you is important as you wont be able to help anyone if your sick and overstressed.Good luck to you and your family and especially your beloved grandmother
2007-03-16 05:56:27 · answer #1 · answered by sugar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Taking care of a loved one in decline is a level of hell that can only be understood by going through it. You have ALL of my sympathy, empathy and understanding because I have been there.
While time is not on your Grandmother's side, the most important thing that you can remember is that right now, she needs to know that she is loved. The love she needs comes at a premium to you right now because it is both painful and hurtful to see your grandmother slipping away in such a horrible fashion.
On the days that you stay with your grandmother, make sure that you have a telephone lifeline - a pal who can help you on those long nights that are mostly just sitting. With your parent's permission, see if you can invite your fiance to join you at the house. Rent a movie and pop popcorn. See if Grandma would enjoy watching an old movie.
One of the things that my family did was to take the time to talk to Mom and help her bring up the memories that made her the happiest. I would spend hours brushing her hair while she talked to me about what it was like to be little during the Great Depression. We played music that she remembered and sang with her and helped her go back to a more pleasant time for her.
We also looked into hospice home care so that each of us (Dad, and 3 siblings) could all have some time with our families and loved ones without feeling like "it's always my turn". Local hospitals can also connect your family with caregivers that can help take up the slack, also call her insurance provider to have them help in bringing in extra care so that she can be at home.
There is no instant solution that can take away the pain that you feel, nor can anything make your Grandmother well again. But - by offering her this service of your time and care as she is in decline is a greater gift than you know.
She will have something that many people do not - she will be able to leave this life knowing that her family cared enough for her to be there when it mattered the most.
God Bless! Hang in there!
2007-03-16 13:00:22 · answer #2 · answered by stonechic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Care givers deal with a lot of stress that comes with a beloved member of the family slipping away. I'm sure at times you might feel resentments, and that is normal. Try to focus on the great sacrifices you are making for your grandmother and how if you were her age--and you will be one day if you live--how much you would need a family member. And remember it won't last forever.
2007-03-16 12:53:57 · answer #3 · answered by luminous 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you are very resentful and angry about your family expecting you to do your part in caring for your grandmother.
You can either own up to the responsibility and stop whining, or you can simply refuse to do it, and get on with your own life.
The choice, and the consequences of either choice are yours to deal with. Time to grow up and act like an adult.
2007-03-16 12:54:06 · answer #4 · answered by essentiallysolo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋