Should I say this to the girl I miss?

Question

Hey. How are you? You know, ever since we stopped talking, (we haven't talked for 10 months) I had been going over everything in my head, trying to figure out what I was doing wrong. You know, I still remember what you said to me the last time we talked, the things you were mad at me about. It was because of you that I started working on those things. I know you probably still don't want to talk to me. It's just that a special girl like you is hard to find, you're unlike any friend I've ever had. No other girl is as amazing, wonderful, smart, talented, funny, and beautiful as you. No one else has your light brown eyes that sparkle when you're happy and fade away when you're sad, or your bright smile. There was a time when I was feeling down that you could tell something was wrong because you know me. I'm the same way about you. I know you think I don't know you, and I know I don't know everything about you, but I want to know everything about you. I really care about you and like I

said, you're special to me. I'm tired of playing silly games around you, trying to act like you're not when you really are. Without you, I just had to admit that I must be really stupid for not understanding then what you were trying to tell me, that it wasn't anything wrong with me that you didn't like, it was you just didn't share those feelings for me that I had for you.
I've found out for myself it was better when you didn't like me in that way. Now that you don't like me at all, it's alot worse. For the things I've done, I'm really sorry. I was just afraid of losing you, so I did. I only want us to start over, pretend this whole thing never happened and if necessary forget that there was any mention of romantic interest between us. I know with you I don't have a chance. I just want your friendship back, if it's ok with you. (END) (continues If sent in a letter) If writing this to you makes how you feel about me worse, then if you'd like to, just forget that I wrote it.

If what you want is to never see me or speak to me again, I will just try to let you go just because I only want to make you happy. (END) I just want to know what should I do for her birthday or if I should pretend I forgot, but I really don't want to play anymore silly games like I don't care about her because I'm tired of them. What should I change? Is it too long?
You can stop here, but below is the situation. And what should I get for her birthday, or should I play more games and pretend I forgot?

The reason I liked her in the first place is because online she said she liked me after two weeks of us talking, then I was excited because I felt good that someone finally liked me. I asked her how she felt about me the next day, then she said she didn't really know, she had too many boys in her life and didn't know how to handle it. After a month she told me she didn't liked me but I still liked her. So I kept talking to her hoping she would eventually change her mind and give me a chance. After a while I noticed she was everything I've looked for in a girl and I fell in love with her. After 4 months of us talking she told me she was falling in love with someone else, whom she gave a chance and not me, and that a couple of her friends were falling in love too. I implied to her that I was falling in love with her and she kept asking me who. Then she asked if it was with her, but I felt I shouldn't say so online so I changed the subject and found out we were unknowingly both watching

the same tv movie. We were going to be somewhere and there I would tell her. I panicked and told a friend what she said. I was afraid of her liking someone else besides me. I left out the names of her friends when I told him. He figured out who and teased her friends about falling in love, so the girl I love got mad at me and wouldn't talk to me. At the time I didn't know better to not say anything at all that we talked about. After I gave her space for two months, we had a small conversation until her bus came and I asked her if she was still mad at me. She told me no, she just didn't want to talk to me anymore. So I haven't tried to talk to her but when I say hi to her sometimes she says hi back, and once we did have a very short conversation. I wonder if maybe she cut me off because she doesn't want to get hurt in case I'm too good to be true. Boys have dated her friends and told them they loved them, had sex with them (she's the only virgin with her friends) and dumped them.

I turned 17 a month ago, she turns 17 in two weeks

Answer 1

Sorry guy but it sounds like she's playing the field. Sometimes girls like knowing that they have a man waiting in the wings. You seem really thoughtful and sweet. If you tell her you changed the things about yourself that she didn't like and she doesn't even want you...that's sad. You can always improve yourself but don't do it just to please someone else, do it for yourself to make yourself a better person.
You can send the letter but understand you are giving her all the power and that's not good. If she's falling for someone else you need to let it be. Maybe you can edit the letter to tell her you value your friendship and thank her for helping you become a better person. Once you've moved on and she see's that don't be surprised if she wants you then. It's a girl thing, we want what we can't have. Don't get sucked back in if she does, there is someone out there waiting for a guy who wants to make her happy and she'll do the same for you!
Good luck and don't settle for sloppy seconds, you are better than that!

Answer 2

Some guys do, but most guys don't and the reason is probably mostly genetic. Males tend to be loners more than females and so the social aspect of life is more important to the females. This probably stems from the hunter/gather days when women were together socializing while the males were out hunting. While hunting the males couldn't be so noisy or communicative so as not to startle the prey. Females were home raising the children, fixing the meals, making the clothes/quilts/etc and were very social during those times.. Also, females are truly connected to the families i.e. children since it is the female that carries the child 9-months and give it birth and feeds it from her own body during it's early months. Males just plant the seed and move on. So, there's no real connection from the male point-of-view. A man can still love and care as deeply as a woman, but it may not always show up the same way.

Answer 3

It seems like you've put a lot of thinking into this.

Short.. don't do it!

Come on, man.. you still remember whatever crazy thing she said 10 months ago?! Move on with your life. She's not that special as you think.There are like 3.5 billion women on this planet. I bet you that at least some of them are more amazing, wonderful, smart, talented, funny, and beautiful this girl.

Stop obsessing about her and start meeting other women. You’ll see that she has nothing so special. And you'll have a lot more fun. What, were you having fun these 10 months thinking about her?

Say that whole 'love letter' to her and I guarantee that she'll label you a wimp and laugh about it with all her girlfriends.

The irony is that, if you actually start meeting other women, you'll come across more attractive to her (and any other woman), and if there was ever any chance of you two getting together, then you will. And if you don't, well, you'll still have your choice amongst hundreds of more interesting women.

Trust me, this is the best advice anyone could give you. Obsessing about a girl is not healthy. And definitely NOT attractive!

Answer 4

This is what you should do, put that note in a little gift box SECRETLY at her front door. Put like a little teddy bear or a box of chocolates, etc. Then ring the door bell. Quickly hide behind a big bush or tree or in a car. Then come back and knock on the door and say, "Happy Birthday, [girl'sname]" And give a big smile and a hug. The note is good btw!

Answer 5

definitely not....sorry but no. youll end up pushing her farther away. maybe if you just told her you wanted to talk again, be friends and the like. what you wrote is a little too much at once. just lighten it up a bit at least. and good luck, it can be hard.

Answer 6

I thought every single guy on this planet was a complete and utter d i c k till i read all that. It sounds to me like you know already what you need to do mate.

Answer 7

Send the letter, or talk to her. You have nothing to lose, so go for it. You sound really sincere, and I think you'll be fine.

Answer 8

Yes, if a guy said that to me i would kiss them = ) That accually describes me a little too. Accualy a guy said sumtin similar to that to me

Answer 9

Damn..............that's LONG!!!
I don't even wanna read it, it's so long!
But, it's always good to express your feelings for someone you care about. No matter the length or content of the letter.

Answer 10

i think you should totally tell her that... i know if i were her there is no way that i could still be mad at you after that... i dont know wat you should get her 4 her b-day but i dont think u should keep playing games... i mean if she said you didnt know her than saying you forgot her b-day would just make it worse...