Should I tell him? Please help, I really don't know what to do.?

Question

I am trying to work things out with my ex-fiance, to tell you the truth I don't even know if we are still engaged. Last night I saw someone I had dated for a long time, we kind of messed around. Should I be truthful with my ex-fiance, or would it be better if I didn't say anything and hope he doesn't find out? I believe honesty is the best policy, but in this case I believe it will just hurt him and not really help us to see if we can repair our relationship. We broke up because he was always lying. Now we are going to counseling trying to work things out. So should I tell him, and if so what is the best way?

Answer 1

How about this....do not tell him. Many people might tell you tell him, but don't. It will mess him all up. Maybe you will now get over him lying to you all the time and your relationship will actually start to work out. Keep this secret and tell nobody. I mean it...nobody. Not even your best friend. You never know. Also, don't do it again. I am sure everything will work out with you and him, just don't mess up again. Good luck.

Answer 2

If you had already gotten back with your ex-fiance why in the world would you want to start off by messing around with someone else? Be honest with him. After all you say you all broke up because of his lies.... you are just turning the tables now. If you love him the work it out if not then just let the relationship end.

Answer 3

You say you broke up because he was always lying (I feel you on that one, I hate liars) so then you cheated on him and you are asking if you should be honest and tell him. Well NOT to tell him would make you a hypocrite. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. If you don't want him to lie to you, don't lie to him. However, there's also another saying - let sleeping dogs lie. You did the deed, he's none the wiser, just let it go. If he flat out asks you if you cheated, then say yes. But if he doesn't then let this one fly and don't do it again. The thing is, you either want him (the ex-fiance) or you don't but you are going to have to make up your mind. Good luck.

Answer 4

hmm if you think he will find out from someone else.
Maybe you need to evaluate why you mess around with people.
I read this thing in this book by billy graham answers to lifes problems.
If you were married why should you wreak havoc on the other persons life? You should ask god for forgiveness.
But also, remember there are results of having sex with other people: kids stds and you have to explain those.
You will keep this on your mind and it will make you feel guilty.
Maybe talk to your counselor.

Answer 5

if both of you are lying to each other then i don;t think this relationship is going to work...you have to have honesty, respect and trust your mate......at this time i would just not say anthything...do you really love your fiance? maybe you need some time off... hope evertyhing works out....

Answer 6

in my opinion u should just act like nothing happened. just dont keep going back to the guy u messed around with, as long as it was a one time thing.

Answer 7

Well either way, you have advantages if you don't and if you do. So what I would do is start a clean slate and explain your feelings toward him and let him explain his feelings toward you. Honestly, things will work out. Tell him what's working and what isn't what you both can do to fix it. Good luck. :)

Answer 8

I dont think you should tell him. He wont find out, and it will only make things worse. It will mean he wont trust you and open a whole can of worms. Start afresh with him and just forget out it!

Answer 9

honesty!

and stop messing around with other guys!

i just got engaged and im going to be true to my girl!

just as she's going to be true to me!

Answer 10

Stick with the honesty thing because you don't want that to come back to haunt you.