He lives states away. Sends no child support or gifts on birthdays or Chirstmas, rarely ever calls. After the breakup, our little one had a lot of anger issues that had to be dealt with and we have made a lot progress. I'm worried we'd be setting her back if we tell her she has a sibling. Not only would it be upsetting to know she has a brother or sister she can't play with, she's smart enough to figure out her "daddy" is spending time with a new baby and none with her. Do men understand the cruelty of their actions? We don't intend to keep it from her, but I think we should wait till she's more mature and better able to express herself to us verbally, at five she'll act out and then we'll have to guess whats wrong.
2007-03-16 05:21:07 · 8 answers · asked by LoneStarLou 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
We've been to court countless numbers of time and he's been jailed for non-payment, he pays a hundred bucks and they let him out. The state of Florida is a do-nothing state when it comes to support.
2007-03-16 05:54:24 · update #1
Why isn't he paying child support????
Get it done, and get back support as well.
You could try talking with him about this as the kiddies are half-siblings and may resent not being told about this later on.
She is too young to comprehend this stuff right now.
I urge you to get in touch with good ol' "dad" and sort this out asap. Send a written LETTER.
Who the hell are these men that hot-foot-it when the child is born and start procreating again without taking care of prior commitments that happen to be THEIR CHILD??
Good luck.
2007-03-16 05:35:52 · answer #1 · answered by Pacifica 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You know, it's really easy to put this off because she's "too young" to know right now. But when will she be old enough to know? It seems to me that if you can approach it gently now it will cause fewer problems then if you wait and tell her when she's 12, "Oh you have an eight year old sister who we've been hiding from you". You probably won't say the "who we've been hiding" part but that's what she'll feel. Then you're dealing with very troubling information about a new sister AND anger at having it hidden AND pre-teen hormones.
Or even worse if you never get around to telling her and her sister shows up one day looking for her family.
Face it, there will never be a good time to tell her this but if you do it sooner rather than later you'll only be dealing with one set of problems and feelings.
2007-03-16 06:08:51 · answer #2 · answered by Critter 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No. What good reason do you have to tell the child??? You don't. The child clearly has issues of anger and being able to deal with the absence of her father. He's not even in her life so there's no reason to muck things up worse by adding insult to injury or salt to the wound that her dad has a new baby. It's confusing at such a young age and only creates more stress. Your child, at this point, isn't a grown person who needs to be told the latest gossip or the new twists of drama in your family. Spare the child and just help her through coping with the issues with her absent father. At this point it's not necessary to tell her about a new baby. Are you trying to screw her up to be able to tell your ex what he did? I ask this becuase I've seen it before, but these people are too selfish to see the long term affect. Nurse her through this and make her know that she is strong w/o him, it's nothing she did and that she has loving people that are there for her.
2007-03-16 06:08:05 · answer #3 · answered by throughthebackyards 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Not Yet!
Let the dust settle and your daughter grow older and wiser.
Then, and only then should you tell her some more of the truth surrounding her errant daddy!
Whatever you choose to do, do it a bit at a time. For all your sakes.
2007-03-16 05:56:27 · answer #4 · answered by Modern Major General 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Wait untill she is older, and more mature. Otherwise there could be problems and damage that can't be repaired.
2007-03-16 05:40:49 · answer #5 · answered by Weston 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Pray about it. Honesty is always the best.
2007-03-16 14:23:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Now is not the time to tell her...she is way too young..As angry as we get, they don't understand and just causes them unnecessary grief!!!
2007-03-16 05:26:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would not.
2007-03-16 05:24:06 · answer #8 · answered by Amanda 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋